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Hello bees,
I just wanted to put up a positive post since the post by she who must not be named.......engagedandnormal.
I am so sorry that some women feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better.
I am truly sorry for all of the wonderful bees who have decided to not participate anymore. They were GREAT support and inspiration. I hope that all of the other bees that are left will stick together and not let ONE person ruin our sisterhood.
I love you bees and I will NOT be going anywhere!!!
:) Thanks for this post, girl. I hope most waiting bees realize that most of the other bees feel positively about the waiting bees and that a few bad apples spoiled something really awesome. We'll make it!
Edit: GIRLS! ENOUGH! This thread needs to die. This is absolutely ridiculous.
playing devil's advocate- I think engagedandnormal is entitled to her opinion. She shouldn't be crucified for being honest. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I'd rather be part of a community that was honest and brought forth different view points for discussion, rather than one where everyone was the same or pretended to feel the same on all topics.
Look, yes there are some who did not agree with my post and that is fine. My placement for it was wrong. got it.
But it wasn't to put others down, it was to express my opinion that to me and at least 20 others on here the waiting posts and drama of them are annoying.
Seriously. the non stop posting about it and being huge drama queens just proves the point more. By the way certain people are responding by:
1.making threads to claim they are leaving, only to be begged to stay,
2.making threads to proclaim their love for waiting treads
3.acting so very insulted and defensive
just makes more drama and clogs up the forum. Grow up. You don't agree? FINE. Awesome, then move on to the next thread. Act like an adult who is capable of realizing this is the internet.
I have already apologized for posting in the wrong thread. No need to act like children more.
I agree with Jacqui. And I think it's time to lay this to rest.
*wishing I could say what I would say in real life without getting kicked off of weddingbee permanently*
LOL
Like my mother taught me, if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all.
Thats all I have to say.
@ engagedandnormal -Wow Girl.... I think you said it yourself.
engagedandnormal: "Grow up. You don't agree? FINE. Awesome, then move on to the next thread. Act like an adult who si capable of realizing this is the internet."
Practice What You Preach.
Ladies, I wasn't even involved in this last night...but definitely time to move on. I went on to catch up on invites/venues/dresses this morning and was bombarded with drama. In fact, I can barely remember reading anything about actual weddings this morning.
Everyone said what they wanted to say, to the tune of at least two threads being closed. Let's end it.
@lolaj and Lacylust- you can't call her out by name and expect her to not respond.
Nobody is not wanting her to repsond that was my reason for calling her out by name. I wanted a response, hellooooo.
Ladies, I'm done.
This is childish.
E&N: My thoughts for you are this. If you don't enjoy a certain thread or board, then simply don't go there.
There is always one out there who doesn't understand wedding obsession. Kudos for them 
That being said, nobody should feel like they have to leave because of one person's comments. If that were the case, I'd have left a long time ago.
I love watching waiting bees graduate. It's fun and brings back memories 
bellenga: All I was asking inmy original thread was how common it is for girls to be so focused on getting married without even having a ring.
That was my question.
They freaked and started making a ton of rude comments. Some, however were level headed and responded.
It just makes me wonder if these girls are more worried about a wedding and the fantasy of being married than they are of taking care of the man they love for the rest of his life.
I did get a pretty good response from at least 25 members now who emailed and said they agreed completely and wish they would speak up.
All I picture when these girls reply (not your post)
is a bunch of teen girls crying and screaming at their poor boyfriends
"Buuttt I waaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnntttttttt a riiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnngggggggg...heeeelllllooooo??!!"
Yikes, guys, this is getting rather intense. There is an idea on the idea board now to filter boards if you wish. If you like the idea of being able to filter the boards you view, then go over to the idea and vote on it. This way if you're not interested in invites, or shoes, or the waiting board then you can rank them lower and they won't pop up in your filter.
Voice your opinion with your vote - not attacks on others.
It seems a bit dramatic to leave after ONE post. Seems like to me some people are taking things a bit too far. If you see something you disagree with yell at the screen and then MOVE ON. It feels like the people "leaving" are causing far more drama than E&N.
*Please NOTE: I'm not a condoning what E&N said, just think the reaction is a bit much.
I, like other bees, wished I had found this website pre-engagement. Not to whine or cry to my boyfriend "buttt i wannnt a riiinnnng noooowww" like Veruca Salt (see picture), but to get an idea of ring pictures. To think about places to look - what I like and don't like. To talk about the anticipation of finding "the one" and my excitement about upcoming engagement. I had NO OTHER FRIENDS that were "waiting", and to be able to vent and share excitement ("is today the day?") would have been SUCH a healthy outlet, especially at a wonderful place like WeddingBee.
And to the Bees-in-waiting - I LOVE reading your engagement stories! I love seeing the pics and hearing the stories. It takes me back to the day I got engaged and I am flooded with emotion for you. Happy, excited, and congratulatory. So keep posting your happy stories. You help me re-live my special day over and over again!!
veruca_salt.jpg (12.6 KB, 42 downloads) 2 years old
Engagedandnormal: I was holding this back since I didn't want to feed the fire. But really, you have a lot of nerve. How dare you tell other people (anonymously at that) how they should feel and act. Are you the newly self-appointed WB police.
I was with my husband for over 8 years before we were engaged, and many of the girls on here have been with ther SOs for quite a while as well. Of course they're getting antsy, I know I was. Maybe your experience was different, good for you. Maybe you didn't need a "waiting" community because you weren't
I think your about wanting a wedding more than a marriage is not only invalid, but incredibly presumptuous. You don't know how these women really feel about their partners, nor do you know how they treat them on a day to day basis. Plus, to me, I don't see them begging for a ring I see them wanting a commitment, which just illustrates how much they really do want to be with their SO.
Plus, you keep bringing up these "poor boyfriends," but what about these "poor girlfriends" who have invested so much into a relationship already and wat to take the next step but need to wait on someone else.
@engagedandnormal: It would be awesome if you could start your own thread about this topic. Maybe you'd get some more support then. Or not. Who knows? I'd like to hear from these 20 or so other bees who agree with you.
Alright, I don't post very much but I do lurk and this whole topic is getting on my nerves. Engagedandnormal, why do you keep fueling the fire? We get your point. Lets all just drop it and move on.
Again, with the beating a dead horse folks! Everyone has an opinion, which means that none of us are "right". Let's talk weddings instead!
Hey ladies!
After reading a articles on the subject I realized that some in our society still feel that the archaic model of "waiting until you get the ring" is the only way a relationship can move forward.
Instead I feel that a couple in a relationship should be talking about their lives together and they should be in agreement on things such as getting married - if and when. Also, there is no need for a ring (or for the man to ask you!) as there are many women out there who have opted to forgo the ring or even ask her man instead of waiting! All of these options are our right as women and we should be encouraging eachother as that is what Wedding Bee was created to do. Many young women (myself included) were buzzing about before we were engaged and the support I found and the friends I gained before the big day was extremely helpful.
Please remember that we all live very different lives and have different views on how a proposal/engagement should happen.
“We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.” - Maya Angelou
Thank you mncrk, that's exactly what I was just about to type. She keeps acusing everyone else of being childish and not letting it go and yet she just keeps posting. People are trying to move on, I think it would be best for all if she just disappears. It's not like she doesn't have another user name where people are going to hold it against her. There is no reason to keep defending her argument.
It seems that everyone has said what they would like to say regarding this manner. We all have rights to have an opinion and while I did not read E&N's post that apparently fueled this fire, I think she has a right to her opinion. Perhaps WB just isn't the correct forum to be voicing that opinion, that's all. WB seems to emphasize being polite and supportive, and it saddens me that all this drama and craziness infested the hive.
I think we all have enough stress in our lives, whether we are planning our weddings, wanting to be planning our weddings, or dealing with our everyday lives. I think for this site, it's maybe best to keep the opinions that could be offensive to ourselves. While this is the internet and there is a tendancy to think "I can say what I want because I'm protected behind my computer screen and keyboard" you should still be doing so with some tact.
I am one of those girls E&W who you referred to, so don't try to exclude me. I'm in it right along with the rest of those waiting and stand with them.
You were waiting too, right up until the second you were officially engaged..whenever that moment was decided. It's different for many people in fact. I've k nown for a year we were getting married but no ring yet, but that will change shortly.
What I don't understand is why are you concerned with a board that you simply don't have to read. If you don't like it, don't go there. Simple enough without insulting or hurting people imho.
Everybody on this site, even you, obviously are interested in weddings. Can we just move on from this and focus on the happy? Who cares how many emails of support you get, what is important is all bees here..ALL of them are given support no matter what board. We're all in this together and have one thing in common..we share the blessing of having love in our life and in this day and age, that's in short supply. So let's support each other ok?
@Engagedandnormal it was a bit foreign for me as well to read all of the posts from waiting bees who are stressing or worried about when they would get engaged (as you said, it shows up on the "all" boards). Having said that, I think there is a better way to state your case....I'll try to explain...
I think it's great that everyone feels that they have a place to come and express their opinions freely and without fear of judgement. I understand how waiting bees might take offense to the way @engagedandnormal stated how she felt. There are better words she could have used other than "weird" and "abnormal". Who wouldn't take offense if you thought those words were directed at you? Taken in context, I believe all she was saying was that this concept is weird FOR HER. I'm NOT trying to stir the pot, but as a girl who was completely surprised by her engagement, who never bought a bridal mag before I was engaged, I can sort of see how the "waiting" concept might be foreign to some. Of course, my fiance and I had plenty of conversations about how in love we are and how we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. What I didn't know was how, when, or where he would ask me to marry him. For me, that was ideal..for others, knowing the details is important..everyone is different. I think everyone should keep in mind their own central focus for being here, if it makes you happy, why let ANYONE take that away from you? If a certain aspect of a board makes you unhappy or annoys you, stay away from it! That's what I've done and I haven't had any issues.
I hope nobody is offended by my thoughts, not my intention. I'm just trying to make sense out of all of this, I think it's important that we move on!
The only thing I don't get is why @engagedandnormal thinks that some girls who aren't already engaged aren't just about the wedding. There are girls who aren't officially "waiting" who might have agreed to marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, but they're entitled to post about how excited they are because they have a ring? Surely, that concern can apply to ANYONE across the board.
The fact of the matter is that MANY women are excited for the wedding DAY -- not the marriage. That is probably why so many marriages end in divorce. I think it was Lance Armstrong's ex-wife who wrote a lovely article on how caught up MANY women are in the wedding that they don't even worry about the marriage.
I also don't see how the engaged bees could feel that the waiters are somehow clogging up the board with unrelated topics. I've seen waiters, such as crebre, offer super helpful advice, ideas and inspiration to those who can actually put them into action. Just because I'm "waiting" doesn't mean I don't have an opinion on flowers, or fast dinner recipies, or suggestions for cheap restaruants in my city.
Ironically, I would also ask engagedandnormal why is is okay for MARRIED bees to be on the board? Is it not "weird" to still be wedding obcessed AFTER one is married? By engagedandnormal's reasoning I would think it would be equally "weird" for someone who is already married to still be talking about it. Also, if you've been married before does that give one a pass to be here? The whole thing is silly if you ask me.
No one can really know anyone's motivations on a board. I will never understand why some people are so into online gaming, and really it's not for me to understand or judge. Engagedandnormal doesn't really need to understand, but the fact that there are so many women on this board (and many others that exist out on the internt) should be proof enough that the "waiters" are actually pretty normal.
While I do think engagedandnormal is entitled to her own opinion, her very name is offensive and somehow implies that if she is "normal" others are not normal. It's not about her feelings, but rather the WAY in which she said her feelings.
I've been reading this thread and the other thread and I know it sounds middle school but can't we all just get along
I know something that will make everyone better...pictures of kittens because honestly who doesn't smile when they see a kitten?
Have a great day everyone!
kittens.jpg (29.2 KB, 59 downloads) 2 years old 
I LOVE KITTENS!!
ahhh, feeling much better now :)
Awww. Everyone, Have a HAPPY HAPPY Thanksgiving! I'm grateful for all of your thoughts and support!
I knew the kittens would work...works everytime 
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I really think it is way past time to let this all go ...
Yes, there is a waiting board, we all have the option of skipping past the posts we don't like wether they be waiting, or emotional, or any post that begins in NWR or OMG
Someone said something you don't like - get over it, and let this go (and I am referring to E&N and everyone who has started a thread related to the thread that was shut down).
The thread was shut down FOR A REASON. This is beyond ridiculous, and I think that many people involved need to get away from the computer, take a deep breath and have a glass of wine.
KITTIES!
P.S. I only come here so I can talk with like-minded people, be it about hair styles, LDRs, opinions to help people decide on a dress, and have the occasional whinge.
oh and just to make it even...
Wow...makes me glad I missed last night...or whenever this happend. I agree mostly with Curly Dreamer. But that's all I'm gonna say.
KITTIES! Love! lol. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
What's better than puppies AND wine???
loldogs-cute-puppy-pictures-winegoz.jpg (73.1 KB, 41 downloads) 2 years old This topic has been closed to new replies.
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