Post # 1
My FMIL does flowers for weddings very often and graciously offered to do the flowers for my wedding. (We are buying them all, she is arranging them for us.) However, nearly every single decision I’ve made on flowers has gotten push back from her! We’ve gone round and round on pew decorations; she hated my idea of flower arrangements in mason jars hanging from pews, I hated her idea of tulle bows. Yesterday I told her I wanted simple baby’s breath bundles tied to the pews. She said it was too plain and boring and wouldn’t photograph well. So I sent her this picture last night:
And she sent back that if we can’t find the hanging filler (amaranthus) we’ll just use baby’s breath, because the arrangement needs it as filler anyway… though I’ve been specific that I like baby’s breath ALONE but not as filler (it looks too much like prom to me). I also want the bouts to be simple cotton blossoms, but I KNOW she’s going to hate that idea. I appreciate all her help, but I just wish for once an idea of mine would be met with, “Okay, whatever you like!”
Post # 3
I’ve seen all-baby’s breath arrangements and they are GORGEOUS. Not too boring at all! At the end of the day, you have to be happy with the flowers, and if your FMIL can’t live with that? Maybe it’s time to find someone else to do them. Sorry she’s being a pain.
Post # 4
Maybe you can ask FI to throw a little “ohheavenlyday said that she really liked so and so and I was thinking I just LOVE it too. Do you like it MOOOOOM” and emphasize on the mom part so that she feels like she SHOULD like it.
You know what I mean? A little son manipulation …
Post # 5
I know! i feel like I’m going to have to enlist his help. My FSIL had FMIL do the flowers for her wedding too, 10 years ago. She told me she wanted ivory and gold as her colors, with just ivory flowers, but FMIL in told her that was too boring and would look stupid, so FSIL just gave up and let her do bright colors like she wanted. FSIL admitted it did look good, but still wishes she’d had ivory and gold like she wanted. I do NOT want to look back at my wedding and be like, Oh, there’s the flowers FMIL wore me down into having. I want the arrangements I like! Sighhhhh. I really don’t think she’s intentionally trying to be pushy; she just has a very specific, traditional idea of what weddings should be like and most of my ideas are a little different than that.
Post # 6
I’m sorry she’s being like this with you. You should address it with her and then if it doesn’t change at the end of the day decide if saving some money is really worth not getting what you want.
Post # 7
This is why you don’t let family be vendors. It’s just asking for trouble!
Post # 8
Oh I know! I shut FH down when he suggested his sister be the photographer, but his mother does flowers SO MUCH for weddings that I knew she’d do them well, and I honestly just thought I’d be like, “This is what I want,” and she’d say, “Okay.” Oh nooooo! I did not understand how much her opinion would come into play.
Post # 9
@ohheavenlyday: I honestly just wouldnt tell her what you decide upon. If she persists on asking,tell her and then if she comments on it, I would be quite blunt and simply say “I appreciate your thoughts but my FI and I have made our decision and this is how it is goin to be. If you dont think you could do it….” and wait for her to respond.
The catty biatch in me says to tell her “your arrangin them,not deciding them!shut up and get arrangin woman!”
but then Im a bit blunt like that lol