Does this wording make sense or am I just crazy?!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Does the wording on our invitation make sense, considering our DW situation?
    Yes, I would totally understand that you will already be married, and it's a reception ONLY. : (6 votes)
    18 %
    No, the wording is way too confusing. Am I invited to the ceremony & the reception? I don't get it. : (18 votes)
    53 %
    It's not that confusing, but I still have better wording for you. ( I'll suggest below). : (10 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @HLiska3:  Mhmm…. I would “drop” that you are married at the 14th of January because that it is what confuses me the most… It is more clear that they are invited to the reception only and not the actual wedding ceremony. However, I am not an etiquette expert…

    Post # 4
    Member
    2630 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @HLiska3:  The invitation isn’t confusing in terms of the event to which the guest is invited. I would be confused, though, at why you’d tell me the date and location of your wedding on an invitation for the reception only. My vote would be to keep just one date and location on the invitation. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7395 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I wouldn’t call it a reception. I would say

    Please join us to celebrate our recent marriage.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    As a general rule, you only mention, in detail, the event that people are invited to rather than include events that they aren’t. Otherwise you cause confusion. 

    A recent invitation that I received stated that I was invited to:

    “An Evening Reception to Celebrate the Recent Marriage of A & B
    Saturday xxxx April 2013
    7pm at XXX Hall.”

    This particular wedding took place at a different venue earlier the same day but none of this detail was included. It was absolutely clear to which part of the day my invitation referred to. So I suggest similar wording.

    Post # 7
    Member
    10986 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I do not have an etiquette book in front of ne, so I cannot say this with absolute certainty; however, I am confident that the prior posters are correct in their advice that you should omit any reference to the date of your wedding. To me, it seems as if you are attempting to combine a traditional wedding announcement with an invitation to the celebration of your marriage. I am not sure if I am correct, but I believe that you cannot properly notify guests of a *future* event to which they are not being invited. However, it is acceptable to mention that something significant has happened in the *past* that you are now celebrating. The fact that these two events are occurring so close together, and your wedding will not yet have taken place when guests receive the invitation to celebrate your marriage suggests to me that you should not include the future date of your wedding on the “reception only” invitations. (And, yet, I must admit to being stumped without access to an etiquette book as to whether it is proper to refer to a marriage that has not yet taken place in a manner that suggests that it has. Perhaps Aspasia475, who knows everything about these matters, or ThisTimeRound, who also is very well versed on matters of etiquette, may see your post and comment.)

    Post # 8
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    What I would do, with respect, is not worry so much about precise rules of etiquette – many of which are outdated – but instead, go for clarity so that you don’t leave your guests with any uncertainty about what they have been invited to.

    It is quite correct to refer to a future event as a past event in the context of this invitation. Because it would be impossible to send invitations out in anything resembling a timely manner if you waited until the event that they weren’t invited to in any case was in the past!

    To make this clearer, you are marrying on the 14th January and holding a reception 11 days later. You can’t wait until after the 14th January to send the reception invitations out. Therefore, the fact that the wedding cannot have taken place when the guests receive their invitation to the reception doesn’t matter.

    Post # 9
    Member
    334 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My FI and I have something similar (majority of the guests are only going to the reception) so we did:

    You are cordially invited

    to celebrate the marriage of:

    Ms. Futurefishy &

    Mr. Futurefishy

    on September 21, 2013

    at Time

    Location

    Address

    Address

    Post # 10
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Steampunkbride:  +1. That makes it much less confusing. No need to give date and location to something ppl arent invited to

    Post # 12
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    You can mention the fact that you are married. But it’d be confusing to give the details of your marriage to people who aren’t going to be invited and who are getting a specific invitation to a post-wedding reception.

    By all means use the words “recent marriage” but just don’t give out the date and venue it took place on and in.

    I also think you do need to describe what sort of event you are hosting. That way people know whether they are going to a reception, a cocktail party or a BBQ in the local park. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Well in that case I think you are safe going with an invitation to “Celebrate Our Recent Wedding”.

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