Post # 1
If things don’t turn around, I may be waiting forever! Mr. Tattoo is a graphic designer and was laid off. -cries- He’s freelancing, but it’s nowhere near to what he was making and we may have to push everything back.
I asked myself what was important to me and I’m really struggling with it and I feel selfish! On one hand I tell myself that being married is the only thing I want. We can skip the ring, the ceremony, the parties, everything and just go to the courthouse and get married. Then the selfish part comes out and I want a ring, dress, party, ect.
Ugh! So Mr. Tattoo has started doing invite desins (I posted his samples in the Classifieds) and hopefully this will not halt our planning.
So if everyone can say a prayer, chant, meditate, send positive vibes, or whatever you do for us, we would appreciate it.
So…have any of you felt selfish for wanting to wait to have an actual wedding instead of just going to the courthouse when the situation wasn’t ideal? I’m seriously sick to my stomach about it. It’s the marriage that’s important right? All the other stuff is just extra right? But I want the extra stuff! lol
Post # 3
I’ll send you all the good vibes you’d like 🙂
I don’t think it’s selfish to want the dress, etc. My Mom went down to the courthouse 30 years ago with my Dad thinking that, well she was disappointed she didn’t get a wedding, but the marriage is more important and she’s right. She’s still right. BUT. She wanted a wedding. She put my veil on, and nearly cried. Every bride deseves to have the wedding that suits them. If you want one, wait to have one. Or go down the the courthouse now and then have a big ceremony later and recognize that you’d get TWO weddings. Do what feels right to you and remember that sometimes, both are right for you.
Post # 4
Oh hon I’m so sorry 🙁 You’re in my thoughts. I agree with MissHelen that you can have a big ceremony later when it’s “in the budget”.
Post # 5
You’re in my thoughts! Financial complications are always a bummer. But keep thinking positive and everything will work out the way it’s meant to!
Post # 6
I’ll say a prayer for you. I know things are hard right now but its bound to get better. Maybe you don’t have to make a decision right now. Take a little time and focus your energy on getting to a place where your both financially stable and able to afford a wedding. Then you can even have a small initimate wedding. Its not selfish to want one, even when things are bad. You just have to consider downgrading.
Good Luck and lots of hugs.
Post # 7
You and Mr. Tattoo are definitely in my prayers…my SO was doing contract attorney work for almost 1.5 years until he got a permanent offer (earlier this month), so stay strong and keep eachother encouraged. I’ve been where you are and know the thought of putting off your wedding is disheartening, but keep the faith!!
Things will fall into place…smooches and blessings!!
Post # 8
I’ll send you positive thoughts & vibes if you send some my way, too, lol! My guy had been working 2 jobs (about 65hrs./wk total), and we were doing well financially. But a few weeks ago he quit one because of problems with management, and I’m a little worried because of Christmas coming. He had saved some money for my engagement ring, but a part of me thinks I need to not be selfish right now and maybe use some of that money so we can get our kids lots of presents. I’m still struggling with that because I really, REALLY want my ring and a proposal. *sigh* Just wanted to say I know how you feel, and I hope things work out for both of us!
Post # 9
@AudzinLuv: Def in my prayers.
I just feel awful at times. *sighs* I am even thinking of picking up a serving job just to save up.
Post # 10
@Miss Tattoo: whatever you need to do to get through it. I had a work fall-out a few years ago and had to take a serving job to make ends meet. I ended up REALLY enjoying it. It was a seafood restaurant in my neighborhood that I frequented. After all of the BS and intellectual grind of my job it was really nice to just be cheerful and give people wonderful food (the food there was great). And have people say “Thank You” to me. I’d been so un-appreciated at my job. So it turned out to be refreshing and “built character”-I know that’s a cliche, but….you’ll look back on this time in a few years and appreciate how strong you were.
Post # 11
And please don’t lose heart. I know you feel “selfish” for wanting a wedding but don’t beat yourself up. The most memorable wedding I was ever involved with was *extremely* low budget especially for our high cost area. We all came together and did something to help. I did the flowers. Another friend did the photos and video. One of her coworkers was the officiant. The bridesmad dresses were like $50, just a beautiful skirt and tank top, both of which I’ve worn again. It was a beautiful wedding with a LOT OF HEART. It was so unique and special, and a beautiful reflection of them. We all came together as a community to give her the wedding she’d been dreaming about. So don’t worry. Or you can go to the courthouse now, get that serving job, and save for your big wedding down the road. The possibilities are endless!
The whole thing about the “extras” is (allow me to vent for a minute…) the stupid wedding industry knows that everyone wants their “extras” to be perfect and they charge 2-3 times what it would be if it wasn’t a wedding. They can totally get away with it becuase people are so crazy about having the perfect wedding and worried about what other people will think. Awful! So look at unconventional options as well. You can have the dress, ring and party without breaking the bank. You can have a brunch party with a friend, drink champagne, and do DIY invites. Have a small guestlist of only the people who are important to you. Go to the outlets for a dress (my stepmother found an amazing gown there that didn’t break the bank), get married in a park, have a friend take photos, and then head to a local restaraunt for the reception. So you get to have your party! And renting out a restaurant for a private party is SO MUCH CHEAPER, like I said as soon as you use the word “wedding” the price doubles. Or have a potuck, maybe you or one of your friends has a beautiful home where you can all get together.
Look at this site: http://2000dollarwedding.com/
You can dream a wedding that is totally YOURS and not the cookie cutter scenario. And don’t give a f*&k what other people think. Wrecking your finances for a wedding is not a good idea, and if you’re creative you can avoid it.
Ok, vent over.
Post # 12
i am sure you will get it soon 🙂 ! sending good vibe! i will pray for you!
Post # 13
@DreamingBee: Oh I love her blog! I stumbled across it months ago and changed my whole idea. We are having a very DIY intimate affair.
Post # 14
Lots of love and prayers!! And I fully second DreamingBee’s ideas about still having a beautiful, meaningful celebration that doesn’t break the bank. Just because you don’t have a big budget doesn’t mean you have to trudge to the courthouse in a dowdy dress. Have a joyous DIY celebration now, and a second one down the road when you’re financially in better shape if you still feel a wedding itch!
Post # 15
Mt brother is a graphic designer, and the recession has been really, really tough for him, too. He was lucky and wasn’t one of the designers laid off at his firm….but he did get a 35% pay cut. OUCH! That lasted for almost a year and a half. The firm has just reinstated their old pay plus a raise to try and make up for some of the lost wages. PHEW. Hang in there, it’ll get better!!
Post # 16
I’ll pray for you guys! Good luck.:)