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Please read... when giving a gift of a check to a couple

posted 1 year ago in Money
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    alphajuliet    October 23, 2010  

    So my husband and I just had an out of town wedding and most all our guests were wonderful and gave us checks or gift cards instead of having us ship things back west.  Well we hit a snag that we never had thought about before!  Trying to cash the checks!  So we all have heard that changing our married names is a big pain (I am working on that now).  We went through all the checks and people were trying to be sweet writing one of the two things on checks... to Mr. and Mrs. married name or Mr. him and me maiden name.  Well both of these instances are big issues at the bank.  See first... we don't have a joint account together.  Now we aren't planning on having one right now but even if we did we would have to set it up and wait on either checks or a new bank card to come in.  Problem one.  We could deposit the money but not spend it.  Second problem.  My name isn't changed yet and probably won't be for a few months all in all.  So the cute Mr and Mrs checks were a problem.  We couldn't deposit these at all.  We figured me just endorsing them over to him would solve all our problems but nope that isn't kosher either.  Now we did luck out and we both use the same bank, I had a photocopy of the marriage license and they allowed us since we are both customers at this local bank to deposit them but I am absolutely sure we would have been screwed if we used Bank of America or something like that. 

     

    So the moral of the story?  Write the check only to the groom.  It will make your life SOOO much eaiser. If you want to be sweet then write something in the memo line but don't write it to both of them. Please let other people know because even after attend about 30 weddings I never thought about this.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    Good tip! We have gotten a few small checks for shower gifts, etc. and luckily they have all been made out to FI. 

     
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    Busy bee
    Snowy414    August 20, 2011   Colorado

    wow I never thought about this before.  great tip! 

     
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    Bumble bee
    CaraMia10    October 10, 2010   Loma Linda, CA

    Oh man, I know what you mean! I thought cashing checks were going to be such a hassle. We don't have a joint bank account either so we had to use hubby's bank...which is BofA. They were actually really nice about everything and didn't give us any crap. The funds were available next day. I'd never thought about this issue before, but I will definitely think about it next time I send a check.

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    We've gotten a few for shower gifts and it wasn't issue for us, but we do have a joint checking account together, so maybe that's why it wasn't an issue.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    trugem    January 2011  

    Great tip. I think most people will be give us gift cards (hopefully).

    I wonder if this process goes smoother if we deposit at an atm or online. I know that Chase no offers a way to scan your deposits online.

     
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    Busy bee
    Lovespearls    June 13, 2010   New York & DC & Austin

    We got SO many checks in all kinds of name combinations and never had trouble depositing them at the bank at all.  I even got checks before the wedding with my First Name Married Last Name and deposited them before I was married.  I still havent even changed my name.  The bank didnt care at all. Are you trying to cash them or deposit them?  I think they are more careful when you want the cash then when you deposit them.

     
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    Worker bee
    Oasis709    July 2011  

    This is great advice and I couldn't agree with you more! I actually did do this at a wedding I went to last month, and it was my fiance who advised me to write the check to only the groom.

     
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    Blushing bee
    alphajuliet    October 23, 2010  

    Nope we were just depositing them and it ended up not being a big issue but it was just something I never thought about.  Why make a possible hassle... I will write to the groom from now on as you just never know.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Birdie Love    May 7, 2011   CA

    Thank you for posting this! Its a good reminder for me that FH and I need to open a joint account soon!

     
    11.
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    Blushing bee
    sizzle    September 18, 2010   New England

    We had almost all of checks made out to Mr. and Mrs. New Last Name we just deposited all the checks into our savings accounts (we don't have a joint account) one account was at Bank of America and one was at CU. We didn't have any issue and the banks said as long as the checks cleared we were all set!

     
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    Busy bee
    sweetkate    August 29, 2009   San Jose, CA

    DH and I have had a joint account for a couple of years. When we got married my name changed at work immediately while it took me awhile to change it every where else. I had no problem depositing checks with my new last name even though my maiden name was on the account. I think it just depends on where you bank. I can see the smaller banks giving you a harder time than the bigger banks. I also think it is easier to just deposit in the atm rather than deal with a teller.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    I would change banks if they gave me problems like that.

     
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    Bumble bee
    rachel_leigh    May 15, 2010  

    We received checks written to all kinds of name combinations and we had no problems with depositing them.  We don't have any joint accounts but we bank at two different major banking organizations.  I think it depends on the bank.

     
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    Honey bee
    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    I never had an issue at all either.

    I go by a different name socially and at work than my legal name. We even had people write Mrs. Name I go by + husbands last name and our bank still let me deposit it as long as we both endorsed it.

    Think it just depends on the bank and even the teller you get.

     
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    Sugar bee
    LittlestBirds    July 24, 2010   Seattle, WA

    We have a joint account with USAA and I have an account with Bank of America. People wrote checks out to us in a million different ways, including Mr. and Mrs., and we had no trouble depositing any of them in any of our accounts, even though my name wasn't legally changed. I'm sorry this is a hassle for you.

     

    (I'd be pretty offended if all our guests had written checks out only to my husband.)

     
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    Sugar bee
    sewing    July 2010   SF Bay Area / Oahu

    weird that your bank wouldnt let you cash them! i don't have a joint account and i havent changed my name yet but we both just signed the back and mr. sew cashed it into his own account, no problem. maybe our bank doesnt care to look at the names or something, lol.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    crayfish    September 11, 2010   Berkeley, CA

    UGH WE HAD SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS

    1. Don't assume the bride is changing her name. You may be making a check out to someone who doesn't exist

    2. Don't write a check to BOTH the bride and groom - it could take weeks/months to get the marriage certificate back and to set up all the bank accounts. Nightmare headache for us.

    3. Just make it out to the groom OR the bride's MAIDEN name. You won't have any problems then, and they won't have to wait to cash it!

    We had many, many issues with this, and it took a LOT of returned checks to work through the kinks. What a nightmare.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    pinkshoes    July 2011   MA

    What bank do you have?  I've never had any issues depositing checks, even ones that werent issued or endorsed to me.  I've deposited checks addressed to FI to my account with no problem.  This is all at an ATM also though if that makes a difference.

     
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    Helper bee
    pamplemousse    Fall 2010  

    I had the same type of issue. Though the bank was kind enough to deposit checks under $1,000. i had checks written to me with my name misspelled. that was sort of funny and insulting at the same time.

     
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    Busy bee
    lauren810c    August 21, 2010   NYC

    I think it depends on the bank as well.  We had checks in all different combinations and no joint bank account.  All we had to do was go to the bank together and bring a copy of the marriage license and we were fine.

     
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    PitBulLover    August 21, 2010  

    Thank you for posting this. We are probably going to give checks for the next few weddings we attend (we have 5 next year!!) and I would have just put Mr. and Mrs histlastname because thats what people did for ours. Since I changed my name AND we have a joint bank account all of our checks were fine but I didnt even think about someone in your situation!!

     
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    Buzzing
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    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    We didn't have any issues deposting a single one of our checks (that were made out to every combination of names imaginable).  DH and I banked at two different banks at the time and didn't have any joint accounts and the bank didn't bat an eye.

    Honestly, I'd be a little peeved if people only made the checks out to my husband.

     
    24.
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    Helper bee
    angela2011bride    March 19, 2011  

    I agree with @LittlestBirds, I'd be offended if the checks were only written out to my groom.  From working at a bank, I learned that as long as you sign it the way it's written out, then sign your legal name, you should never have a problem.  If you want to save offending someone as well as make sure you don't create unneeded hassle, write the check to MR OR MRS, or JOHN DOE or JANE DEER, that way you are including both, but either one can cash it.

     

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