Post # 1
This is kind of a continuation of another one of my posts. Long story short:
Bridesmaid = best friend since grade 3. Bridesmaid has obsession with falling in love and each time she gets right on trying to have the guy’s baby ASAP. Well looks like going off of the pill wins another round. She’s pregnant. Her new bf is shocked and didn’t want kids but that’s a whole other topic. She informed me she won’t be coming to my wedding. She didn’t even seem sad, just went on and on about how everyone is so happy for her, her sister in law “got on her hands and knees and cried with joy” over the news.
Dresses were chosen 4 months ago and ordered almost 6 weeks ago. She is now 5 weeks pregnant.
She had asked me to put her dress on my credit card and would pay me back later. She paid me some of it (not quite half) but told me that’s all she can afford. I took the hit and said ok that will be fine, it was better than bickering over $120 more.
I called the dress shop and they called the designer – it’s too late to cancel the dress. I knew this would be the case.
I am not adding anyone else to my bridal party in her place. The only one I could add would be my sister who is a size 10-12 and this dress is a 4.
I texted ex-bridesmaid to tell her what the dress shop said. She said “well i guess if they can’t refund the money I’ll just take the dress”
I said “well, I was thinking I will try to sell it online first because I can’t afford that if you’re not going to come wear it” and she said “then give me my money back”.
What to do?
Post # 3
If she pays you for the remaining balance give her the dress and let her worry about it. Otherwise sell the dress and pay her back what she paid you splitting any loss equally.
No one is really going to win in this situation so you might as well try to be as fair as possible to yourself and your ex-BM.
Post # 4
I doubt I’ll get full price for what it costs if I sell it online.Is it fair to split the difference of what I get from selling it with her?
EDIT: sorry, I see that you edited your answer.
I just wish she had to go to all the trouble of selling it not me lol
Post # 5
I agree with Treejewel. You are better off selling, recouping some of your money and giving back whatever she paid you.
Post # 6
Tell her if she wants the dress, she will have to pay you the remainder of the balance.
If she doesn’t want to pay the rest, I’d tell her you’re selling the dress and she can have what’s left after you are reimbursed for what you put out. She chose to pull out, thus I think she should be the one taking the bigger hit, especially since you’d be the one who ends up having to sell it.
Post # 7
I would think that she dropped out and the intention was that she’d pay for it in the first place she should be the one to take the hit, not you. I would resell it and pay myself back and then pay her whatever the difference was. Assuming that your maids agreed to pay for their own dresses (which is sounds like they did) it’s hardly fair for you to take the loss.
Post # 10
@meetmethere2013: so the dress wouldn’t fit her anyway ?
Post # 11
@alishaloo It’s very flowy. We made sure to get one with pregnancy in mind as my MOH just got married and they are going to be trying ASAP so we wanted something she could wear in the event that she gets pregnant.
Post # 12
She owes you for the dress, flat out. It’s her choice not to be in the wedding and it was by her request that you get the dress and she’d pay you back. If she pulls out of the wedding then she still owes you for the thing and then SHE can try to sell it to make back her money but she’s got no business putting you in a bad position just because she can’t get her act together.
Post # 15
@alishaloo: i asked her today. Her due date is August 1, 2012 according to her doctor. I guess I clearly was not paying attention to her when she told me. lol
@Peach_Cobbler: thank you this is what I needed to hear. I do not know how to tell her this in person though
Post # 16
I know it’s not easy but you can start with: I understand that you don’t want to be in the wedding anymore and I’m fine with that, however you asked for the dress to be ordered and I did it for you, again as per your request, however I’m not the one that needs to worry about this. Either pay me the rest of the money and sell the dress yourself or I will keep it, sell it and keep any money that I get.
There is always a chance that you still may take a loss selling it, not many people go about buying bridesmaids dresses so really….she needs to pay you back and worry about selling it herself.