posted 3 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Tell Family & Friends Before the Elopment
    Before : (8 votes)
    42 %
    The DAY OF : (0 votes)
    AFTER--Announcements : (11 votes)
    58 %
  • Post # 3
    41 posts
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Have you told people you are planning a wedding? Do people assume you’re going to have a wedding? What time frame are you looking at? If you can do it before people start assuming you’re planning a wedding, do it – and fast.

    We are telling people we are going to Hawaii just the two of us.

    That is because we made the mistake of telling EVERYONE we were planning a wedding. It was a mistake to be so open about it, but eh, we didn’t know. We were excited. We don’t want to keep up the charade until we get married in May…it’s just not our style. 

    Post # 4
    6073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @CHICJDWIFE:  Cute avatar!

    We did the destination elopement thing.  We went to Canada and planned it all in 15 days even though we were engaged for 15 months. 

    So we did have a wedding all planned and booked.  Then it was cancelled (my dad was dying and he eventually passsed away sadly), then we tried to redo a smaller immediate family only wedding which was not working.  So people were kind of already waiting to hear what we were going to do.

    I did tell people that we were going to Canada.  It wasn’t that they were not invited, it’s that they said upfront they couldn’t come to our homestate anyway (this is my family I’m talking about), so we did not see any reason to keep in our state.  We wanted to go big!

    We updated our Facebook while in Canada and that tole the rest of the world.  Later I made holiday cards using a photo and that told the rest of the family who are not on Facebook.  So no formal annoucements basically.

    I will say that I am very happy with our route to go to Canada and have our own wedding.  I did not have any upset family at all.  The say was 100% about us and no stress. 


    So here is what we spent on just the wedding part:

    My attire: $701 (dress, slip, shoes, bra, jewelry, hair flower)

    His attire: $233 (suit from Kohl’s, shirt, tie, hankie)

    His Ring: $350 (it was $700, but I traded in a ring that was valued at $350)

    License/Officiant: $100+106

    Photography: $1260 (3 hours, plus her 4 hours of travel)

    Other (which were bouquet, bout, champagne, three course dinner, one tier wedding cake and more): $550

    TOTAL $3300  (does not include the hotel and food part, just wedding stuff)


    This is what it looked like:





    Post # 5
    6073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @CHICJDWIFE:  Ok, enough about me!  What do you think of just your immediate families attended?  Like siblings, their SO, parents?  Then your dad could officiate.  Then take everyone to a nice restaurant for a wedding dinner.  Maybe somewhere has a private party room. 

    I think if you eloped, then having ONLY your dad there (even if he’s the officiant) would maybe tick off mom?  Or maybe both moms could be the witnesses if your state requires legal witnesses?  Just have it be the parents?

    Or if you truly eloped then no one at all, not even dad.


    I don’t think it has to be a secret.  I did not get any, “Oh I wish I could go too!”  It was more, “Have fun!”  Depends on your crowd.

    Post # 8
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @sienna76:  This is absolutely beautiful!  I am glad you spent the $ for a photographer, I am sure you will cherish the photos. Where in Canada is this? I have been to Toronto and LOVED it but would love to see more of Canada!

    Post # 9
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius

    Do it after, we have tld people before and it sort of ruined it because eople were upset and the day of noooo do it after you’ve had your amazing day 🙂

    Post # 10
    6073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @habibti:  Thank you!   This is at Emerald Lake Lodge in Yoho National Park.  They had an elopement package that we used (and loved).  The closest town is Field, BC.  Field is about 1 hour from Banff, AB (aka Canadian Rockies).

    Post # 11
    6073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @CHICJDWIFE: Thank you!  It was an amazing trip.  Hoping to go back for our 5th anniversary!


    So I did some quick math.


    If you kept both of your attire costs $850 or less, wedding bands (if you want one) down to $700, your dad will be free so the marriage license is maybe $50, find a restaurant where the total tax, food, drink come out to $40 per head (for a total of $1400 for 35 people) = that is a $3000 wedding.  That may be a place where dinners or lunches are typically $20/plate just a guess.


    Post # 14
    6073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @CHICJDWIFE:  I highly recommend the amazing photographer for sure!  You will want pretty pictures to remember the day. 

    That will probably eat up half the budget or more.  So now it looks like private wedding for two!  Or just have all the parents be there (no siblings).  Keep us posted! 

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