Please SLAP some good sense in me! >_

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@QueenBeee:  Whatever you do, I advise against changing the stone behind your fiance’s back. If and when you decide to change it, please don’t do it in secret. Involve him in this decision!


Post # 4
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Talk to your fiance! Thats what I always do when I want something that I really dont need. He will either say okay, lets change it. Or deal with what youve got and well upgrade later. No sense in beating yourself up over it, and I definitely wouldnt go behind his back! Either way I want to see a pic of this ring though!!! =)

Post # 5
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@QueenBeee:  I think a 3 carat Moissonite would look more like a cocktail ring than an engagement ring, even in Boston. Your 2 carat you have now sounds lovely and you got to design it yourself- how awesome is that?!

Post # 6
898 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 It will grow on you, give it some time.. You JUST got it. Do you have a history of buyers remorse? I know I do, and even if I love something.. I question whether its really right. I would focus more on finding the perfect weddding ring to compliment your already sizeable diamond. Personally, I wanted a 1.5ct diamond and while I was slightly sad that I only got a 1ct, finding the perfect wedding ring REALLY made it perfect. 





To (a little more blingy):


Post # 7
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@Excited To Bee:  I want to echo this. I have HORRIBLE buyer’s remorse. I loved my ring and then instantly wanted something different. Mine definitely grew on me (thankfully not literally) and yes, a band makes a huge difference. I love mine a lot more with my band. I’ve waited nearly 2 years to wear my band with my ring!

Post # 9
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I suggest the standby of “fake it til you make it!”  Think one loving thought about your ring a day.  “I love that my FI gave this to me”  “I love that I designed this”  “I love the symbol of our love” etc. 

Post # 10
284 posts
Helper bee

I have a .8-something diamond in a bezel, and FI custom designed it but I AOK’ed it before it was order. Sometimes I feel like I wish I didn’t have the shoulders and the bezel on it, or that I had some smaller stones in the band, but my FI was pretty clear that it’s totally an option for me to build and change my ring as our relationship progresses if I so want to. Right now, my ring is perfect for my lifestyle, and so I like it and I want to keep it that way. However, like our relationship, we’re going to grow and change and so can my ring 🙂

Maybe have this thought in mind? You aren’t ever ‘locked in’ to something like this, why not enjoy what you have for now, see it as a symbol of where you are in your relationship and your life right now, and as you grow and change consider changes to your set.

Mine is quite plain and sometimes I regret that as it’s also a solitaire, but I have a feeling once I get my channel wedding band that I’ll have my fill of shiny-ness. It really does come down to finding the perfect pair for you, it can really do a lot for an e-ring to be paired with a good band.

Post # 11
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

To each there own but honestly I think your fingers are way too small for a 3 carat. The 2 carat is big without being overpowering. Your ring is gorgeous! Wait six months and then see how you feel.

Post # 12
1360 posts
Bumble bee

I would wait. If you still want a larger stone in 5-10 years, upgrade to the 3ct and allow yourself to get that feeling of excitement of having something new.

Post # 13
460 posts
Helper bee

Agree with others … Don’t do it just yet, and DEFINITELY don’t lie to him about it if you do, unless you wouldn’t mind being lied to about something he does. Bad way to start off an engagement, not to mention deal a likely blow to his ego.

Give it time, and if you still feel in a year or so that you wanna go bigger, talk to him about it and get an amora gem.

Post # 14
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

So I stalked your page a little to see if you had posted any pix of your ring, because I think it makes a difference (I like big stones, so I might agree with you and tell you to go bigger if you can, since it’s only $220!)

I found this:

Can I say that your ring is STUNNING? It’s perfect, it really is. The finger coverage is PERFECT. It looks so beautiful and elegant and classy. I come from NY, where I believe the average carat size isn’t 1 like the rest of the country, but closer to 2. I have many friends who have 2, 3, 4 carats.

Let me tell you first that your obsession with all things e-ring and size and whatnot is really completely normal for the beginning. As soon as you get the ring, you are going to be staring at it, checking it out, looking at it all the time (I’ve had mine for almost a year and a half and I still do!) and you wonder to yourself if this was different, if that was different, would it be better, etc. The answer is no, honestly. I love my ring and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m sure if something was different like I wanted, I would have said oh man I wonder what it’d look like if this was different. I’m not really like that with anything else, but the e-ring was SO important to me, it’s what I’m going to wear everyday for the rest of my life and to me it signified that my FI wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, so it just held a high value of importance. I think that’s why I fretted over every little detail.

I honestly, really believe that if you got a 3ct it would take your ring from classy to tacky/gaudy. I wouldn’t even advise an upgrade in the future (which I have no problems with – I always think a 5yr or 10yr anniversary upgrade of an ering is a great idea if the girl isn’t happy with her ring to begin with any can’t change it right away). Even if you told me that it’s only $220 and you happen to have $1mil extra sitting in your bank account right now, itching to be spent, and your FI was on board with you changing it, I would say don’t. Your ring is perfect and beautiful just the way it is – the balance between the setting/sidestones on the band and the center stone is perfect and it’s perfect on your finger. If you had a bigger finger, my answer may have been different, but the way it looks right now – pure perfection. I love a large roung center stone that is the complete showcase of an e-ring.

But seriously, your ring is perfect. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. 🙂

Post # 15
4043 posts
Honey bee

@QueenBeee:  Honestly, if you do upgrade at this point, I think you are setting yourself up for the “there is always something bigger” trap. Also, I agree with other PPs that 3cts is pushing cocktail ring look. While the price to upgrade is small, I would suggest keeping what you have and giving yourself some time to re-think it. If you feel you must upgrade, definitely be honest with your FI about it.

Post # 16
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

*slaaaap* but seriously I agree w pp your ring is pretty how it is, it’s a great size. Though if you really want an upgrade I’d tell your FI aboutit & pay the differenVe. 

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