Please, someone tell me I'm not crazy..

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The time for bachelor parties for your DH is well over.  He is not a bachelor.  The only bachelor party he should be attending is someone else’s, and not right now.  I don’t think you are overreacting at all.

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

He is no longer a bacherlor. I would be super upset if my FI(DH in your case) left me at home 7 months pregnant with a young child.

Post # 5
Member
416 posts
Helper bee

His bachelor party window of time has passed. He’s now a married father. I’d pretty much tell him too bad, plan a boy’s weekend sometime in the summer.

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Ninteenthchance:  He’s being selfish and sounds like he needs a reality check. His priorities are not in order if he privileges a weekend away (hours away so he couldn’t get back quickly if required) over what is best for his family. 

Your wife comes before your friends. Dude, you’re married with a kid and a pregnant wife. You’re as far from a damn bachelor as it gets. Seriously? I am outraged for you. He should be there supporting you and enjoying newlywed life! 

Post # 7
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Ninteenthchance:  You’re not overreacting. You’re in a vulnerable time right now and you need your DH around. When the baby is born, and things are relatively under control, your DH can maybe do a “guys’ night” (overnight) at the rented cabin, but now is not the time.

Post # 8
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I can see where you are upset. I would suggest maybe doing something smaller and closer to home. Maybe just a “night out with the guys” so he is close to home. He is not a bachelor anymore but should then just have a simple gathering with his dudes. He may just be overwhelmed with having a 2 yr old and baby on the way where he needs a night out. Then you can have your girls over at your house.

Post # 9
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That ship has sailed and he now has a very pregnant wife at home.  I’d be upset as well.

Post # 10
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@foreverlovex:  I agree. There’s room for compromise if y’all talk it out together. A guy’s night isn’t an outrageous demand if he keeps it in town. In exchange hopefully he can take care of the 2 year old so you can have a girl’s night or spa day. Both of y’all are about to hit a stressful time, and should get a chance to unwind.

Post # 11
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Ninteenthchance:  you’re not crazy… 

I wasn’t expecting such a sane story after the title 😉

Youre pregnant with a toddler and a husband. That boy should be home with his wife and kids man…

If there was a time to keep your foot down and tell him to man up, this is it!

Post # 12
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Ninteenthchance:  At first I was going to say I felt for him because you were about to have your first kid, but being your second kid and he’s already about the married with kids life, I see your point. I will however say that not letting him go out with his friends at all may stir up some resentment within him that could have been avoided.

Perhaps even one night away, to collect himself and do manly man things before his all the  new sleepless nights etc. wouldn’t hurt? You could have a girlfriends night that same night, if even just to get away from your husband and not focus on the fact that he’s not there. My friends whose husbands go hunting do this all the time.

TLDR: I understand your point but think about giving him one last night away before the craziness of a newborn begins. It could help prevent some resentment on both ends and I’m sure if you were to go into labor he would be right back 🙂

Post # 13
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Also, I wouldn’t throw around the “you’re not a bachelor anymore so you don’t get this.” We all need those nights every now and then, single or married, where we just hang with our guys/girls. Using that language can breed resentment.

Post # 14
Member
1421 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@littlemisst08:  +1

I would resent being told I couldn’t go away for a weekend because I had a husband and kids. 

Post # 15
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If he didn’t call it a Bachelor Party, I’d actually be perfectly okay with the idea— it’s absolutly fine for him to want to do a guy’s weekend, and at 7 months pregnant you’re uncomfortable, sure, but nothing really going on that he needs to be there for. You can survive a weekend without him. I’d just ask him to change the wording a bit and that;s just because it seems really immature and weird to have a bachelor party when you’re no longer a bachelor.

Post # 16
Member
4153 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you weren’t 7 months pregnant and didn’t also have a 2 year old at home, I wouldn’t see a problem with a weekend away with the guys, although I wouldn’t refer to it as a “bachelor party” because I agree with the others, that ship has sailed.   My husband and I both do a weekend with our friends now and then, so that doesn’t bother me, but we don’t have kids yet.  And our friends with kids still partake in those weekends once a year or so, but certainly not with a 7 month pregnant wife and another small child to care for.  I’d tell him that now isn’t the time for a weekend away because of the current state of things.  Maybe down the road after you get settled with child #2.  

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