Post # 1
I would like to me taken off the waiting list because I have decided that I’m not waiting anymore. The boyfriend is scared and uncomfortable about proposing, and I decided that talking about it or even thinking about when it’s going to happen is making me expend a lot of negative energy. BF says I was pressuring him too much the past couple of months (we’ve been together 10 years!). 2 weeks ago and I decided there will be no more pressuring, no more asking, and I will live my life for me and no longer expect a proposal. Our lease is up in the summer. I will be moving into my own place at that time if it doesn’t happen.
Sometimes they’re not ready. He’s not, so I’m officially releasing myself from “waiting”. We are still together and I love him more than anything. But at this point I need to get ready for it to just be me if this doesn’t happen because I will not wait for a commitment much longer. Surprisingly, this has been a very freeing feeling to live without imposing an expectation! The BF has really noticed a difference and commented on my positive attitude. Who knows if it will work out in time for my lease, but I am now trying to live everyday for myself.
Post # 3
I think that’s an awesome way to go about it. You guys have 10 years together, it’s extremely hard to just get up and walk away so it’s smart to wait until your lease is up to get your own place. I hope it works out by the summer!
Post # 4
@AirLaw: Good for you!! 🙂 You deserve the very best!!
Post # 5
@AirLaw: Good for you! Maybe distancing yourself will make him realize that he does want that commitment.
Post # 6
@AirLaw: I’m proud of you! That’s a very mature way to approach it 🙂 Best of luck to you.
Post # 7
@AirLaw: That’s awesome! Good for you and I hope you never stop living your life for you — in or out of a relationship.
Hopefully, rents don’t increase too too much if you end up looking 6 months or so from now!
Post # 8
Good for you! I hope it works out for the best no matter what happens. x
Post # 9
@AirLaw: you should be proud of yourself, I firmly believe that sometimes in life, we have to be our own hero, and not be afraid to make the hard decisions. You are doing all of this. Kudos to you!
Post # 10
I realized I wasn’t living for myself anymore, and that’s why I needed to release my own expectations. The resentment has went away a lot over the past two weeks and I am finally happy. I was getting so caught up in waitingand comparing myself to other friends and their engagements that I just needed to stop The madness I was causing myself.
I feel like it will work out in the summer if it’s going to happen. If not, the at least I will have built myself up to be the best I can be.
Edit: I apologizefor the spelling errors, using the iPad on here can sometimes be a mess!
Post # 11
I am really impressed with the mature and level headed way you are viewing and handling this situation. No threats, whining, or accuations, you are simply doing what you need to do for YOU. Your SO clearly has a special lady in his life. I hope all goes well in the end.
Post # 12
@AirLaw: Good for you! 10 years is damn long enough. Pressuring him too much, lol! Men.
Post # 13
Great for you. You can’t be passive in life, sometimes you have to take a position that’s best for you.
Post # 14
Good for you! I started to seriously stress myself out hoping for a proposal at 9 years and am ashamed to say I went a little crazy for a moment there…it almost broke us but I finally saw sense and stopped putting so much pressure on us both. I realised he was the man for me no matter what, marriage or no marriage, and that I would rather be unmarried to the love of my life than married to anyone else – I got rid of the mental timeline, took time away from WB, stopped all the obsessing, stopped talking about it and dropping hints etc and basically just came to terms with the fact that we were never going to get married.
A month later, FI proposed!
Post # 15
@SellyJo: I love your story. Although I would love something like this to happen to me, I’m not sure it will. Especially since I stopped cooking for us! Haha. thats the one thing that’s “my” task, and I gave that up two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I also told him I would not pressure or anything, but that since I was releasing my expectations of him, I wanted him to do the same and not expect cooking. We didn’t argue, I think he was shocked that I suddenly became ok with things and let the tension go. Not my shining moment, but like I said, I need the expectations to be gone, because that’s what was truly hurting our relactionship (and hurting me most). We live as if we are husband and wife, with no marriage commitment, which is why I became resentful and why I need to begin to let go.
Post # 16
@AirLaw: That takes a lot of guts to do that! Everything happens for a reason and maybe this is the start of soemthing new and amazing for you