Post # 1
This was my first Christmas that I spent with my husband’s family as his wife. So now, I’m part of the family — yay.
His cousin just asked his girlfriend to marry him Christmas Eve. I really like her a lot and am very excited for them.
So I ask her to see her ring. I know how much I loved it when I first got engaged to have people ask to see mine. And I feel awful for saying this, but it is tiny. It really looked more like a promise ring than an engagement ring. And I know that it isn’t the size of the ring that matters. But I know he is fairly well off and that she is even more financially successful, so I was a bit surprised.
However, their finances are none of my business. And if they just happen to be a bit more sensible with money, I totally get that. It’s just that I am surprised. I really think it is because he was married before and he gave his first wife a much larger ring. It may be silly of me, but I kind of feel bad for his FI — like he didn’t give her something quite as nice…I guess maybe it struck me as second wife doesn’t get the fuss that the first wife did. I don’t know.
So anyway, all this was flitting through my mind when I saw the ring. And I was kind of embarrassed because I’m wearing a wedding set with a 1.5 ct diamond that is always noticed. But what I said was, “Oh, that’s beautiful! Did he pick that all by himself and surprise you? He did an awesome job! It’s so sparkly (which it was) and I LOVE the yellow gold!”
It really is a pretty ring. It’s just that I instantly felt bad for her because I was mentally comparing it to his first wife’s ring and was embarassed by how much bigger mine is. I hope I didn’t convey that with what I said. Please tell me I said the right thing (or at least didn’t offend her).
Post # 3
I don’t think you said anything wrong. As long as you keep those other thoughts to yourself I think what you said was nice.
Post # 4
You didn’t say anything to compare it to your ring, or even give away that you think it’s small. I think what you said is perfect!
Post # 5
Based on what you wrote, you said all the right things. I wouldn’t be offended.
Post # 6
From the title of your post, I really thought this was going to be bad. I think what you said was completely fine; I’m being honest! It was good that you didn’t comment on the stone if it was really tiny. Remember she’s not inside your head to know what you are thinking. Don’t worry! 🙂
Post # 7
i think what you said was fine. nbd…
you complimented her….its not like you took her ring and put yours next to it side by side.
Listen…we shouldnt be ashmaed of what we got, how we got it.
It’s our story, this is theirs…however they choose to live it…
Don’t sweat it!
Post # 8
If that’s actually what you said, then you didn’t say anything wrong! What else could you say?
Post # 9
I agree that from what you said, you sounded genuinely happy for her and the ring:)
Post # 10
I don’t think you said anything wrong. Some people don’t care about the size of their diamonds. Mine is a little one that used to be an earring of my grandmothers. I love it more than any other big ring I’ve ever seen.
Post # 11
Your reply sounds fine to me. As long as you weren’t comparing out loud you should have been good to go.
Post # 12
What you said was perfectly fine! And keep in mind that she may have preferred/asked for a smaller ring – not everyone wants a carat!
Post # 13
You were fine =]. Maybe she asked for a smaller ring. Or maybe he has to help pay for the wedding…who knows!
Post # 14
You sound like a sweatheart, don’t worry about it
Post # 15
You said nothing bad. Presonally I love small stone rings, and hate big ones, so I donno why everyone is comparing sizes, who cares! how shallow.
Post # 16
It sounds like everything you said was just fine. I didn’t see any rude comments what soever. It may be that the FI prefers small rings? Or, like you said, maybe just practical?