(Closed) Please tell me if I'm being unrealistic

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If he’s going to attach so many conditions to getting married, then he must not want to get married very badly.

Here’s what you need to get married: a partner, a marriage license, an officiant, and a couple of witnesses.

Here’s what you don’t need to get married: a house, an SUV, or an expensive engagement ring.

In other words, he’s stalling because he’s in a comfortable relationship with you, but doesn’t want to marry you. He’s hoping if he just keeps stringing you along, you’ll hang around indefinitely.

I mean, let’s be realitistic here. He hasn’t proposed, he doesn’t want to set a date, and he accuses you of “rushing things” when it comes to planning a wedding that is “sometime” “next year”. I wonder how many “next years” there will be before you both get tired of it?

I am normally opposed to giving ultimatums, but you need to know where you stand with this man and whether or not it’s worth it to invest anymore time with him. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn’t. Right now, you’re allowing him to be with you on his terms, not yours. And that’s not fair to you or your kids.

Post # 4
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry to hear you’re in this situation.  Did your boyfriend move already?  Or is he still in the process of moving?  If he’s in the process of moving, I say let him move, get settled in Texas and his new job before you talk about setting a date.  Plus it sounds like he still needs to get a ring and plan the proposal?  So, while I do feel like it’s unfair to you that he seems to be calling the shots and your living situation may not be ideal, I would suggest you keep your focus on yourself and daughter and bring up the wedding timeframe once he’s settled in.

Post # 5
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Also wanted to add, stick to your decision not to move until you’re married!  The long distance will be tough but it will show your boyfriend that marriage is important to you and that you’re serious about it.  And if he is serious about marriage too, then he’ll propose and set a date.

The topic ‘Please tell me if I'm being unrealistic’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors