Please tell me I'm not irrationally frustrated?

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@beekiss:  I’m not Catholic so I don’t know how this stuff works, but is there a church office you can go to in person and get the information you need?

Post # 6
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@beekiss:  Do you want the information or do you want to stand on principle? You already know they’re there during the day because they’re answering the phones. An hour drive or not, all you’re doing is stressing yourself out by not making the drive. They’re going about their day just fine and they don’t have any money to lose.

Post # 8
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@beekiss:  Yikes.  All these hoops to jump when you just want to get married!

This isn’t the first thread i’ve read of people having problems with this sort of thing.  🙁  I’d just keep calling and calling till you get someone! How stressful!

(totally not helpful, but man oh man, am i glad i’m not religious. this kind of stress is the last thing you need when planning a wedding!)

Post # 9
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

tell the receptionist that you need to speak to live person about the matter.  anyone in the office can help and you don’t want to be transfered to a mailbox again since no one is returning your calls.

Post # 10
Member
11002 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

If all official channels have not been helpful, I would contact the archdiocese or diocese (not sure which SF has — I’m posting from my phone) and ask to speak with someone in the public relations office. That person likely will be able to help you to track down the information you need.

Post # 11
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’d be frustrated too, for sure. Make you you document all your attempts at contacting these people. Is there someone at the actual retreat center that you can contact? Can you try contacting the priest directly, given the situation? You might be able to do another retreat in another dioscese. Start researching your options now.

BTW My fiance (who is not Catholic) and I LOVED our retreat weekend. If it all works out, I hope you have a great time there.

Post # 12
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@beekiss:   That would frustrate me too! I am really surprised your priest won’t even talk to you before you finish your retreat that doesn’t seem right. We actually finished ours right after we got engaged, but didn’t take our FOCCUS test/counseling until after a few meetings with our priest. He was thrilled we had gone to Pre-Cana prior to our meeting, but it wasn’t mandatory. Also, we did not have to provide our baptism records they just asked for the date we were baptized and the parish name. IMO it sounds like they are giving you the run around!

 

Luckily, if you are getting married in November you have plenty of time to complete the retreat! Good luck! 🙂

**Maybe try contacting the priest and voice your concerns about the retreat being cancelled?

Post # 13
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Where is the retreat taking place? Can you call the location so they can at least confirm it’s on the books to happen?

Post # 14
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@beekiss:  Call the cathedral and ask to speak to the Rector, or the Vicar General.  If you ask “who should I speak to about this?” they’ll say the lady who you already can’t get a hold of, most likely.

Post # 15
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@beekiss:  OK wait… the coordinator is with the Archdiocese, right? And your parish priest won’t meet with you until you’ve gone on the retreat? If that’s right, here’s what I would do…

Call your parish secretary and explain the situation. Ask her if she has an in at the Archdiocese. Otherwise, here is the info on that department.  If Betty is the person you can’t get a hold of, try calling and asking for Deacon John Norris, who is in charge of Pastoral Ministry (and would therefore be above her). 

The Archdiocesan offices are actually super easy to get to on public transit, if you wanted to show up in person. They’re right by New St. Mary’s Cathedral.  

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