(Closed) Please tell me I'm not the only one

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Has this thought ever occurred to you?
    Not once. Girl you are bat crazy. : (42 votes)
    29 %
    No, but I can see the reason in your worrying. : (31 votes)
    21 %
    Sometimes, but the thought didn't really linger. : (41 votes)
    28 %
    I used to worry a lot but I'm over it. : (3 votes)
    2 %
    You and me both! All the time! : (28 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Haha, I get you. I don’t think I’ve ever had these thoughts (well, maybe?), although we’re still eight months from our wedding. I have pretty bad anxiety at times, too. I definitely don’t think you’re crazy, though, but my FI has much worse anxiety than I do and he brings up that he’s worried that I don’t want to marry him. It’s all in your head!

    Post # 4
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @gangqinjia:  Oh yes, I have thoughts like this too. Not so much the wedding day itself, but more just in general.

    I too have anxiety issues!

    Post # 5
    Member
    319 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Hey lady!  You are far from crazy!!  I’m worried that my FI will be disappointed on our wedding day because I won’t look like his ideal bride.   I’m also worried that a few years down the road he’ll wake up and realize he made a mistake (I’m not from his hometown…and lots of his buddies have married home town girls). 

    I suffer from anxiety too – so we are in the same boat!

    Post # 6
    Member
    557 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @gangqinjia:  You’re not crazy!

    I had these thoughts too. Trust me when I say your man will be head over heels in love with you on your wedding day! All of your emotions are heightened on your wedding day. After all, all your closest friends and family are there to celebtrate the love that you and FI share with each other. My wedding was a “love fest” lol and I’m sure yours will be too.

    Post # 7
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn

    Oh yes. It’s still hard to reassure myself. Sometimes I worry that he doesn’t really want to marry me or that something huge is going to go wrong the day of OR SOMETHING! Anxiety Girl definitely hits the nail on the head. Not alone at all.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’ve never personally thought that, but the fact that he asked you to marry him (or said yes if you proposed) means he loves you and will be happy, in person and in pictures, no matter if it’s just the two of you (eloping) or with your family and friends at your wedding ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 9
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I do, but it’s because I know that FI isn’t as into big social scenes or having his picture taken… so while I know he’s very very happy to marry me, and I know that he also wants a wedding, (even if some of it makes him roll his eyes) I am worried he’ll be somewhat too self concious or “on guard” the day of to really let it show through :/ he b*tched and moaned about taking engagement photos though, but when we actually went out, he got into them and even suggested a really awesome place! So there’s hope ๐Ÿ˜›

    Post # 10
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

    My guy hates his picture being taken and usually his natural “relaxed” face makes him look like he’s going to punch someone. He also doesn’t like social situations at all and has proclaimed that he HATES weddings. so yeah… hmm… I told him that I’m sure we can figure something out where our wedding will be one that he’ll actually like. We’ll see! But I’m worried he’s going to look cranky as hell in our photos

    Post # 11
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    There is hope! I had all of these thoughts, and more… I was very anxious pre-wedding and my now husband does not like social scenes, especially ones where he is the center of attention.  Being that I am the more outgoing one, I felt like our day would be a bit more one sided- with me wanting affection and being needy. On our day I was shocked, he was excited, attentive and affectionate.  Having his groomsmen and family around helped.  He told me he would be that way but I still didn’t believe him, and I should have because I knew he loved me and wanted to marry me.  Same thing with pictures, our engagement session was kind of a nightmare, we fought right up until we were in the parking lot meeting the photographer, because he didn’t want to take them at all.  But he did it, they weren’t all great, but there were at least a handful or more that we could use, same goes for our wedding photos, but there were A LOT more taken, better chances ๐Ÿ™‚  That’s the thing, the photos you see online or in friend’s albums are just a fraction of what was taken I’m sure, and I’ll bet not all of that couple’s photos came out perfect. At least that was the case with ours!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1514 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @gangqinjia:  Your last picture of “Anxiety Girl” may as well be a picture of me.  Haha.

    I suffer from both anxiety and depression (I have for years), so I can understand where you’re coming from.  For me, though, looking at those pictures made me worry that my significant other would never love me enough to want to marry me.  I worried that my anxiety and depression (funny to worry about your anxiety!) would, at some point, become too much for him to handle … I figured that’s why he was holding out.

    Fast forward a bit … We’re now happily engaged and just getting started with the wedding planning.  Do I still suffer from anxiety and depression?  Yes.  I just think I’ve gotten a better handle on it (though that’s not to say I don’t have a crazy emotional explosion from time to time).  I know he loves me despite my issues, and I’ve moved past worrying that he doesn’t love me enough.

    My guess is that your fiance loves you (he wouldn’t have asked you to marry him if he didn’t!), and will be so happy to spend the rest of his life with you.  

    This is one of the reasons I love the Bee so much … I love the feeling of support/community on posts like these!  Smile

    Post # 13
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I don’t worry because he was the one who wanted a wedding. I wanted to elope lol.

    Post # 14
    Member
    381 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I do think there is a slight distinction that perhaps on the wedding day ITSELF he might not be as happy, but I know we will have a happy marriage. My fiancee also wanted to elope, but that’s because he has a poor relationship with his family, and doesn’t see the beauty/greatness in celebrating with the people we love. He also is from out of country, and feels sad that his side will be very underrepresented…he wants it to be a romantic thing between him and me. I, on the other hand, can’t wait to celerbate with my family and friends. 

    So I wouldn’t take the elopement thing too seriously, some people just see weddings as different…doesn’t mean he sees the MARRIAGE negatively! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    haha i love that little anxiety girl pic. it’s so me. and yes i get that feeling. my FI is not the best at expressing his emotions so i wonder what will happen on our wedding day

    Post # 16
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    HA! I love the anxiety girl. Totally me.

    I get what you’re saying though. Don’t think I’ve worried that he wouldn’t be that happy I just think “Aw I hope he’s that happy and our photog gets a good picture like that.” My SO is pretty reserved so I worry more that he’ll try to keep his composure rather than let it all out. I’m one of those girls that wants him to cry. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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