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I'm allowing kids of the bridal party (ages 1 month to 2). There's only about 4 of them. I don't find myself annoyed with kids but I also have a 1 year old daughter.
You are not the only one having kids at a formal wedding :) We are too, probably between 40-50 And we are getting married on New Years Eve. We love kids, and couldn't imagine not sharing our day with them.
I don't know if you'd call my wedding formal, because the venue is funky (an architectural artifacts shop) and I will be DIY-ing the cake, but everything else will be pretty formal. We are having kids although I was a little "eh" about it at first because, um, hundreds and hundreds of artifacts? The shop is high end, so even though some of it is of questionable taste, it's still worth a lot.
In the end, I decided that we don't know enough hyper kids for it to be a problem. The only two that might cause issues will be with older siblings who are used to being their keepers, haha. I do want to do a fun little kids table for them. I loved Mrs. Sprinkle's kids' table, that's where I'm getting all my inspiration!
Our wedding is "destination", since everyone has to fly in and stay the weekend. FI has lots of little ones on his side of the fmaily...(24 kids under the age of 10). We rented a room across the hall from the reception and hired professional babysitters to watch all the little dinkos. They're bringing sleeping bags and the sitters provide toys and a TV and DVDs and they order pizzas.
I don't mind kids at weddings too much, but 24 of them was more than I wanted. I surely don't care about kids at OTHER people's wedding, I just didn't want them at my own. I'm sure your guests won't mind.
We're having kids at our formal wedding! I can't imagine not inviting them (although I totally understand why others choose not to) since all of my family is OOT. If I didn't invite kids, most of my family wouldn't be able to come. The kids in our families are all well behaved, and I love seeing them all dressed up!
FMIL is really fighting me on the kid issue, and I'm looking forward to showing her how awesome the kids in my family are, haha.
We're having little ones at our wedding.
I believe in the "weddings as cycle-of-life" events, so to me, having them at a formal wedding just makes sense culturally. Also, most of our guests are out-of-town, so I can't imagine asking them to travel 2,000 miles AND find a place for their kids. We'll have a kids' table or some activities set up so that they have something to do.
ME ME ME!! I agree completely, and LOVE seeing kids at weddings. We are having about 15 kids, and are doing up gable boxes with a bunch of activities for each child (colouring book, crayons, playdoh, bubbles, dinky cars, slinky etc) all from the dollar store, but lots of stuff to keep them busy if they get busy!! ENJOY the children!
my wedding is not formal but im having kids in my wedding. we have a seven yo daughter that we love and is having a big part in our wedding. my brothers and his brothers all have kids, more than one. all of our friends have kids. i cant imagine my wedding without kids. we are both teachers and kids are part of our every day life
Thanks for the responses everyone--WHEW, so glad I am not alone on this and that at least not ALL of my guests will hate me for having kids at the reception.
lilyfaith, thanks for pointing out Mrs. Sprinkle's kids' table. She was one of my favorite bloggers (due in no small part to her photog's many shots of kids acting randome, bored, playful, etc.--all the sorts of shots I love to see when I look at photographers' work. oh, and the vegan dessert table...) and somehow I totally missed the kids' table post!!! I love it too, especially because I regularly consume that brand of organic lollipops AND the single serving sized chocolate soymilks she had on the table haha.
And VirginiaMarie I think you might be right about hiring a babysitter for them in another room. Like I said, we have lots of space in our venue and heck, we could have them in a room across the hall with a babysitter and then occasionally pull them in to dance and mingle amongst the stuffy older folks to lighten everyone up, haha. I just know they probably wouldn't be entertained for all 5 hours of the reception, while the adults talk and drink and dance like old people.
I live in the land of kids (ie Italy). It would be sacrilege not to allow them here... or better yet, it wouldn't look and sound like a wedding without the kids.
@gionnetto: both my family and FI's have stayed in touch with their heavy Italian roots, so I hope that means a lot of them will share your sentiments! I agree with what oyster was saying--for my wedding at least, I want it to really feel like a celebration of a monumental part of a life cycle, and the presence of kids really drives that home.
I don't know if my wedding is formal, but it is pretty traditional. We are definitely having kids. Of course I am an elementary school teacher so maybe I'm just used to kid behavior. Plus I remember going to family weddings as a kid and loving them. Getting a picture with the bride was like getting a picture with the Queen of England. :)
we arent but the babysitter idea was something we toyed with since its an OOT wedding for practically everyone. if you have the space you might think of just having a room with some movies playing some coloring books, etc to keep them occupied if they start melting down in the reception hall. weddings are only so interesting to kids until they get tired or bored.
also think of having space if there are any nursing mothers in attendance?
I can't imagine not having/wanting kids at any wedding. I just have never been to a wedding like that -- ever.
That said, I do like the option of having a kid's room and have seen them done before. I think it provides a nice option for both parents and kids, who may not want to be at the dancing/party part the entire time.
All of FI's first cousins and his sister are under 12, so we are definitely having children at our formal wedding. We are providing a kids room upstairs in the hotel for the later part of the reception to prevent any exhausted melt-downs.
I don't know about special activities, but I think you just don't see as many Bees saying that they are having kids allowed because kids allowed typically wouldn't cause as much drama! :P
We're having kids! Our wedding and reception are at a hotel, so like semi-formal? But I would still have them even if it were black tie formal, as long as their parents wanted to bring them!
I would like kids.. but it would be easier if it was adult only reception. There are seriously about 40 kids that could come and then we would exceed venue limitation.
:S
Im making sure that the ceremony is very kid friendly tho!
No kids at our formal wedding reception! We have a really fun and exciting group, though and I know that people can get a little uptight when there are a lot of kids around. People tend to be a little more "straight edge" and aren't able to let loose as much when there are kids there- especially when drinking.
Plus they always take up too much of the dance floor, so we decided that they can come to the ceremony, but not the reception. The ring bearer and flower girl will be introduced and have dinner, but then go home after that :)
We're having kids at our formal country club reception. The Guy has seven nieces and nephews and there's no way we couldn't include them - they're all so great and such an important part of our family. They're all very well-behaved and, to be honest, I have no problem with kids being kids -- they add a lot of fun and colour to the day. I'm going to put together some fun activities for them at dinner -- thankfully our venue has separate rooms for the dinner and dancing portions of the night, so when the kids get bored of sitting at dinner they can go play in the other room.
Also, some of the kids are older (12 and 13) and do a fantastic job of lookign after the younger kids. I remember going to weddings as a kid and having SO. MUCH. FUN. So I didn't want to take that opportunity away from our nieces and nephews :)
Ours was somewhat relaxed but there was still cocktail hour and a sit down dinner. There were kids and it worked out just dandy. We had two babysisters take the kids in another room for the dinner part but other than that they were around and there weren't any problems.
Family weddings for us differ a bit in the level of formality but there are always kids even if its a swanky wedding. Perhaps it's from the italian roots, donno, but I haven't heard any cousins even considering not inviting at the minimum kids of family, someone could do it and people would understand but at least in our family that would be trendsetting. I
don't have any kids but as a guest I've never been annoyed by kids at weddings but I guess I haven't been around bad parents either. If there's some fussing starting they're taken away till they've pulled themselves together so it's really never interrupted anything.
WE didn't have them - I was influenced in part by formal weddings where kids didn't have a separate spaces /someone to watch them. Yes they could be cute, but they were also running around a LOT. They were bored! At one wedding the father was twirling his daughter around the very small dance floor - cute for them, but made it hard for other guests to dance.
I have alos been to a few formal weddings where little kids had a separate room and someone to watch them - MUCH better because then when they felt like being with the adult they could, but they spent most of their time in their room where they actually had more to do.
Our wedding is formal (not black tie, but quite formal otherwise), and we are having kids. For us, our wedding is the melding of 2 families, and it wouldn’t feel right to exclude children from that. Plus, I’m a big sucker for little kids all dressed up – too cute! We won’t have that many children there, but I know several little ones are looking forward to the wedding already.
I’m making activity bags for them: coloring books, crayons, some little toys and activity/game books, which hopefully will help them if they get bored. Not sure about hiring a sitter yet….
I am most definitely having kids at the reception. I have kids in the wedding, plus I just love kids! I think that it'll add some extra fun to the day. I will have a basket with some crayons and coloring books for them to use and take home.
We're having kids at our wedding. It isnt formal, but formal or not we would have them there. FI has like 10 bajillion relatives, which most have about 3-6 kids per family Lol...there is no way we could say "yeah, uncle so and-so, you can come up from vancouver...but your kids cant...no its ok! it will be just like home alone!!!" and besides..there are enough of them to keep eachother busy.
We're having a formal wedding with children. In my ideal situation, we would not, but FI's family is all out of town and they mostly all have children. If we didn't allow children, no one from his side would be able to come.
I'm more worried about the 8-14 set than the little ones. FI has some cousins who are total brats. His cousin Ryan is about 9 and thinks it's hilarious to kick you in the shins and laugh.
I went to a few black tie weddings as a little kid. We got hot dogs, chicken fingers, bouncy balls, and coloring books to keep us busy. Don't give them bouncy balls, whatever you do.
annoyed?... by kids? and in tuxes and sweet little dresses? what are ya'all thinking?! It's charming and I wouldn't have my formal wedding without 'em. The more the merrier. We've got about 80 guests coming this June and about 10 kids, all under 8. Two sets of twins too! I have a darling 'babysitter' on hand and a children's table in a room attached to our space but very open to it (if that makes sense, so kids can see all the action) and here's where they can draw on a paper tablecloth and crayons I'll provide and a brown paper bag goodie bag for each one with their name on it. You all know how to do this... my girl will just be there to help them eat and touch down a bit away from the madding crowd. Or they can be out partying with the rest of us. Whatever suits! Truth be told, my friends love kids; that's why they're my friends.
Our reception is formal and there will be a few kids - 1 7 yr old, 2 - 2yr olds, and 4 under 1 yr old babies. For the 7 yr old and the 2 yr old we've got kids meals - mac & cheese with an ice cream sundae. They're seated with their parents (the only time they won't be is when their parents are getting food from the buffet) as our venue has *tons* of stairs. We don't have kids ourselves and so we're weren't planning anything for them.
There are a ton of kids in our families, so no matter how formal we take it, there will definitely be little ones (as young as 2). I don't get annoyed by child guests at all, although I can imagine tantrums. But hey, I'll just laugh it off and enjoy the rest of my day.
I am having kids at my formal wedding. I come from a large family and have way too many neices and nephews and wouldn't want to exclude them. I plan on having a kids table with ALL the trimmings. I also will hire a babysitter to supervise them and as the evening progresses I plan on sending them off to a hotel room where they can either sleep or watch tv and their parents don't have to cut the evening short for themselves. The older kids will have special assigments like refilling the candy at the candy buffet and small tasks of this nature.
We are inviting family members' kids, but not friends' kids. There will be about 8 of them. But I don't think I am going to prepare any activities because the kids will be with their parents and hopeful supervised and entertained by them.
We're having a pretty casual, ok semi-formal, wedding and we're definitely having kids! I just think they're adorable, plus most of them are family and it's great to get them all together.
I'm having kids at our wedding and are welcoming them! They usually find each other to play with and keep themselves occupied. I'm providing coloring books and other small toys to help keep them occupied as well.
We had a pretty formal wedding, and did not place restrictions on our guests with children.
We ended up only having 5-6 kids at our large reception, including the flower girls. It really wasn't even noticeable, and they are SO cute when they get out on the dance floor. =)
We are sort of doing what you are doing. There are 10 nieces and nephews under the age of 10 so we obviously couldn't avoid having them there in some respect. They are all coming to the ceremony then for the reception we will have a separate room set up, but I'm thinking I might nix that and just have them sit in the ballroom. At this point, I honestly just want to do what is most convenient for their parents, which are our siblings.
My sister just got married a few months ago and had them sit in teh ballroom and unfortunately we did get some negative feedback about having the kids there. It was past their bedtime, they were hungry and tired and as a result kind of bratty. It would have been nice if they could have stayed for like the first 20 minutes then be whisked away. So it's a fine line, I want their parents to feel comfortable and I'd love to have them there for at least a little while, but I also want to respect the rest of the guestlist.
Kids were welcome at our wedding, but the only one who attended was baby tulip - at 6 months old! The only other parents of young children (<18) didn't want to bring their kids and thought it would be a nice night "off" for them. So, while they were welcome and we invited the "so and so family" we ended up with only one child! Who was super, duper adorable. :)
We're having kids!! Our formal (or atleast pretty formal) wedding will have kids invited! Although we've only got maybe 4... 1 flower girl, 1 ring bearer, 1 baby & 1 probable no-show 9 year old. I've ordered a high chair for the toddler and besides that nothing... we're having a candy buffet and I hope the mom lets them go wild with sugar! I know I'd love it!
My wedding wasn't formal, but I did include a kids able so that the parents could enjoy their cocktails :) If you are interested, I just posted a downloadable version of the activity books I created for the kiddos at my event. You can find it here: http://wemetinabar.com/downloads/
Best of luck!
Heather
@heather: thanks for posting that!! It's super-cute! I think we will do one of those!
(Side note: Man, a whole slew of my old threads are getting bumped tonight. awesome)
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I haven't seen any bees lately saying that they're allowing kids at their formal receptions. Anyone besides me? I can totally see why you wouldn't want to have kids at your reception, and I generally find them annoyances in most comparable situations, but I just think they're so darn cute all dressed up and dancing.
Anyone else out there? And if so, are you having special activities/spaces for them? We have a million and one rooms at our disposal at our venue so we could have an entire kids' room if we wanted, but I totally want to see them get their little kid boogie on and so don't want to segregate them...hmm.
Also, as a guest, do you find yourself annoyed by kids at formal receptions? I don't want to annoy my guests just because I like seeing little girls in dresses and little boys in tuxes. And the pics of brides bending down to talk to little girls. So precious. I think having one of myself doing that would help me convince people I'm not such a cold-hearted bitch.