(Closed) Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hey date twin! Congrats!

I get what you mean. I changed my name too, but I strongly dislike the “Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast” so, so much. I guess I just grin and bear it.

Post # 4
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I also HATE the Mrs. HisFirst HisLast!  It absolutely would make me feel like property!  I’m not changing my name, but I know I’ll be referred to this way.  I’m hoping since I have a degree in Feminist Studies no one will call me that, but I’m sure it will happen.  It’s so frustrating!

Post # 5
Member
3472 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

You’re not alone– but you have to understand EVERY woman is expected to change their name– that’s what’s traditional.  But that doesn’t mean you HAVE to do it.  And you have every right to tell people you are Mrs. Yourfirst Hislast. 

I will NEVER be Mrs. Gregory Gibson.  I’m not even sure I’m ok with Mrs. Gibson yet.  FI has never pressured me either way and honestly doesn’t care (so long as I don’t make our kids hyfinate, which I’d NEVER do).  But I’m not ready to give up my identity either, I’m still my own person, and so are you! 

Post # 6
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know exactly how you feel! I am NOT changing my name (I am hyphenating though…. but not for a while). 

I LOVE my last name and we are not PROPERTY! This is all from back when fathers ACTUALLY gave us away and the husband basically gets paid to take us off his hands. (Dowry).

I completely understand wanting to change a last name for children and if its something that is important to you, but it should not be required or expected. 

One of my good friends didn’t change her last name for 5 years, and when she finally did she cried. 

I am really happy my FI doesn’t mind me hyphenating! And as for being called Mrs. husbands first name, husbands last name (BARF). No, not for me. 

Just stick to your guns, as long as your FI understands no one else’s opinion should matter. 

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