Weddingbee boards

  I'll start with a recap. Before Mr. S & I were even engaged FMIL S was making not so nice little comments like "I never got an engagement ring" & "An engagement ring is not for a woman to ask for its for a man to give" (we had gone shopping for it together, he ended up picking it out by himself & did a great job). Then once the planning started the mean comments increased. Now maybe she didn't mean it, maybe it was the stress... but it was a lot. The first week Mr. S got a call from FSIL S that he was ignoring her & his mother & that at least she made time for her family, he was leaving them out of the wedding planning & that wasn't okay. Poor Mr. S had been working over time all week and no plans had even been made we were only 1 week in and waiting for venue availability. Again things calmed down as Mr. S made it a point to call more frequently & I began updating our mom's with e-mails as things came along. Then there was guest list drama... we didn't have equal representation, she wanted to invite her friends from way back when that Mr. S had never even met. Even though everyone on the guest list was a attendant, mutual friend, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, or cousin's child, and then 1 or 2 of Mr. S's co-workers (he's  a firefighter they're close).  Then came the cake.... we went to Piggly Wiggly to sample as we had seen some lovely cakes there and loved it! Her response: Why are we going so cheap. And to the Khaki tuxes: She'd seen a white tux and they looked bad, and while she'd never seen a khaki tux it just would not look good. My favorite comments are "We've just never planned anything like this before" & " I know when FSIL S gets married I'll have to pay for all of that" (she knows we are paying for most of ours ourselves). So when we meet to go to dinner with her last week I am a bit nervous to tell her anything about my dress... she hasn't liked anything I picked so far. She calls me last night to know more details she wants to see a picture of it and the bridesmaids dresses. Then she also wants to add the b/f of Mr. S's cousin and the new b/f of Mr. S's sister...... No one else is bringing their b/f's we just didn't have the room with the tight guest list.  It is a big family affair everyone is traveling very far & with such distance people don't get to see each other very often so I was kinda hoping to keep it a close more family thing.... so my mind starts racing. Is she judging my dress... I don't want her sharing and bad mouthing it to FSIL. I am so nervous that they are judging everything that I do that I can't even relax and enjoy. It is not totally classless. I guess it's just that so many not nice things have been said that I feel protective of my wedding and am starting to not even want to do this with all the stress and critiquing I am getting. I have been thinking about what I want for a very long time & it hurts to have someone tell you the choices you are making that seem to be exactly what you want aren't good enough.  This is not what it is supposed to feel like!!!!

  I know it's a lot of rambling but this is my first meltdown. Sometimes it's just nice to vent and hear that you aren't crazy... and Mr. S is at work :(

  I have already had my angry day but luckily she lives far away & I wasn't talking to her at the time & could cool down & think it over... Mr. S has had this talk with both sister and mom a couple times... like I said maybe it's the stress/excitement and I understand them wanting to be involved,but it finally got to me. I just got off the phone with Mr. S and he assured me everything will be great, his family will love it, his mother will come around.

@lampshade: A hat and pimp cane huh? I almost got an ivory dress because it looked good with my skin tone and at first I didn't even know it wasn't white till I saw it compared to a white dress!

@eloping: I LOVE the surprise line idea.... I should have asked 24 hours ago!

@cinemaparadiso: They just built a brand new Piggly Wiggly right by our house and it is so nice... we were walking through grocery shopping and saw their cakes and they were so great! They taste good too and allow you just about any flavor cake/filling you can think of.