(Closed) Plse Help! Bridesmaid issues

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
45386 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You don’t have to do anything. Give her time to get over it. Her vision of your wedding, or her desire to be a bridesmaid, does not trump your vision of your wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What if since you have one sister from your side You had the one sister from his side. Bringing the families together is part of the wedding. If you can’t possibly make that exception I would suggest he have her stand up for his side. As much as you want things your way you do have to take other people and your relationship going forward into account. Are you willing to put that on the line for one day? It really is about bringing the families together and making it a joyous occasion 🙂

Post # 5
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Jullsz:  Who is being your FHs attendant? If he doesn’t have a singular best friend, perhaps she could be his Best Lady. 

Post # 6
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@WoodenShoes:  That is a great idea!

OP: I didn’t have BM’s (other than my sister…who signed the license and got a hair flower).  I wasn’t having a traditional wedding and honestly thought my friends would be relieved.  Was I ever surprised when I found out that some of my very close GFs were hurt!  Eventually they got over it and I did explain why I was going about it this way.

One thing that you’ll quickly figure out about planning a wedding is that you’re going to hurt people’s feelings….even when you have the best of intentions.  She’ll deal.

Post # 9
Member
11287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

my dh had his sister stand up with him as his best woman.  she is his only sibling.

Post # 10
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

well then maybe that won’t work… haha. is there a time you could ask her to make a toast? I think that is a bit more personal than a reading since she would be coming up with her own words, so it might make her happier than a ceremony reading

Post # 12
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

FWIW i am very close with my brother, who is my only sibling and i would have been really hurt if i wasnt in his wedding, so i get her being upset. 

i think the thing about being a BM is that its been ritualized to mean something specific. like these are the best people in my life. and not standing up there in your coordinating dress make it seem like you arent as close. of course we know thats not true, but people are emotional creatures 🙁

i really liked bricon‘s suggestion of having sisters from each side stand up. i am guessing with 7 BFFs your FI already has a best man picked out, but she could also stand with him if that would make things more comfortable for you and less dramatic with your other sisters. my FI is having his sister as his best man and everyone is happy about it!

Post # 15
Member
45386 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Jullsz:  I have 4 sisters and I didn’t have any of them as bridesmaids becasue I knew they would have issues if I picked one of them, and I didn’t want all of them.

She is a grown woman and should be able to be accepting of your wishes. It is not your job to change your plans because she is being self centered.

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