Post # 1
I’m in the middle of writing my addresses for my invites and going over the guest list. I have a huge family and lots of cousins. My one cousin just started dating someone but I never met her. Apparently its “pretty serious” but he has also been in “pretty serious” relationships in the past too and those girls are long gone. I really don’t want to give him a plus one so i’m trying to make a rule with “over 25s/engaged/living together rule.”
Then I have a girlfriend from college who also just started dating someone like a couple months ago. Never met him. But i’m feeling guilty since I’m giving my other girlfriends in a relationship a plus 1 because they are either engaged or have been in their relationship for over 2 years and I know their boyfriends.
Just need confirmation that I’m doing the right thing, considering my FI and I are paying for the wedding almost all on our own and are already over our original budget.
Post # 3
It’s completely you’re call but I think its appropriate.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
It’s up to you. Whatever you do, though, invite that date with his/her own invitation (unless the live together) and by name. If your friend or your cousin call to ask about their SO, tell them your decision, but let them know that if more space opens up (and they are still together) closer to the wedding, you’d love to be able to accommodate.
Post # 5
if she is a friend then your family will never know that she has just started dating him I gues 😉 and after all you are paying for the wedding so its your choice and decision whom to invite or not !
Post # 6
Eh, IMO I don’t think you are doing the right thing. I’m in the camp that anyone in a relationship gets a +1 regardless of how long they’ve been dating. I think when you start trying to set limits then you run into this problem and then you start unintentionally judging relationships. Like a person has to be dating X number of years to be “serious.” Also the whole living together rule drives me nuts. Lots of couples don’t live together before they are married and I think it’s unfair to automatically give a +1 to someone who lives with their SO but has only been dating, say, for 3 months but not to someone who has been dating for 6 months but not living together. Just because they live together doesn’t make them any more “serious” than a couple who doesn’t. I know it’s hard with budgets, but I’d cut back on other things before I cut out SOs.
Post # 7
Oh, you have to stick to your rules. The exceptions will get you every time. I think if you tell her you wish so much that you could extend a +1, but you just can’t, she’ll understand.