Post # 1
Hi Bees I need some advice.. I decided to invite 11 people that I work with but because of a tight guest list I didn’t plus 1 them figuring that they would hang out with each other etc.. Well yesterday my co worker brings up bringing a guest and says I wouldn’t mind paying for their plate what is it like $40-$50 a person? And I didn’t know what to say.. Technically its a $100 a plate and if I plus oned each of them it would run about a $1100.00.. I know this has happened to other people but wanted to know how you handled it? I told him I had to wait and see how many people rsvp because of the number of guests we already invited…
Post # 3
@Dragonfly22ny: If you don’t want them to bring guests tell you are at capacity.
Post # 4
Technically, if they’re engaged/married/living together then you should invite their SOs, if not then you don’t.
Post # 5
I had the exact SAME issue with co workerz of mine. I had 6 that I really wanted to invite who I knew would want to bring their spouses. So, this may be tacky to some but I didnt care, I went to each of them before I sent the invites asking if they could come solo and sit w the work table. It was either that or not invite them at all. All 6 of them were thrilled to get an invite and happy to leave hubby at home w kids and not have to pay a sitter;) (Saving me AND them money lol)
Then I had the issue of single people who were not in a serious relationship…. I “assumed” that if they knew a ton of people coming (ie were family or IN the wedding party) that they didnt need a plus one because they had people to socialize with. If someone single who didnt know anyone was invited I of courss included a plus one for thrm becauze thats awkward so they should bring a friend, date whoever they want. I had 3 of FIs family members hint that they were brining guys as their “guest” and I flipping LOST IT!!!! I politely explained my reasoning to them, which they may not have agreed with but since these arent boyfriends I dont cars if they are offended, and they said they understood.
In your case since you already invited and said no plus one I would just chat with your co worker and tell her its not just the money of the extra guest, its the space, and the fact that if she does it the other ladies might want to as well. If she still insists on bringing him and paying for him, I would politely say it just isnt an option and you are sorry. No more explanation needed.
Post # 6
Are they married? I’m not giving a +1 to anyone who isn’t married/engaged/living with their SO (aside from the bridal party).
Post # 7
It’s probably a good idea to not invite anyone from work if you can’t invite their significant others.
Post # 8
@DaneLady: Precisely this.
I would be offended if I was invited without my husband. I may not tell the bride, but I would definitely roll my eyes hard internally.
Post # 9
@RunnerBride13: really? Not even for people who don’t know the rest of your guests?
Post # 10
Ugh thats what I was thinking everyone knows each other we all get along like a family and I thought that it wouldn’t be a big deal.. But I think I am going to have to say that we are at capacity and deal with the “eye rolling” if that’s really going on.. I just don’t have the budget for it…
Thanks for the advice
Post # 11
@gelaine22: I don’t think I have anyone in that position!
Post # 12
Tell them you have no room for extras. Adults should be able to function for half a day without their SO there to hold their hand.
Post # 13
I’m probably going to get flamed for this but… I actually don’t see the drama in inviting work mates solo if there’s a few of them who know each other & can all sit together. A couple of my friends have done it at their weddings & it’s worked fine. Generally we don’t all know each other’s partners which makes it a bit awkward.
In most social situations with my co-workers, 99% of times when partners are welcome, they rarely bring them. At our engagement party I invited about 10 workmates plus their partners – only 1 brought her partner & that’s cos they had another party to go to together later that night. Normally she goes solo without him.
But I guess it’s a case of knowing your audience/guests?
Post # 14
I actually hadn’t thought of NOT plus one-ing some girls from my former job, but now that I think about it, it may be better. We were all like sisters and I can see them having plenty of fun at a table together alone…. but then there’s the one work guy who would have to have his wife. In fact, he probably wouldn’t attend otherwise. lol
Post # 15
@SoonToBeMrsRiley: That’s basically the only reason I’m giving my workmates +1 for their partners/husbands, cos we’re also having some of partner’s workmates & I can’t imagine inviting a bunch of married/committed guys without their partners… is that a weird double standard? Maybe LOL.
Post # 16
@mcgoo: I actually agree. I would understand. If I worked with the person and they didn’t really know my FI but they wanted to invite a bunch of friends from work that I would be seated with I don’t think I would mind at all. I’d realize that there are guest list restraints and I know the bride will have considered that I needed people to be around because she invited other work friends…