(Closed) Plus one issue

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

I would be frustrated and I would also probably choose to not attend. 

Post # 4
Member
352 posts
Helper bee

That sucks, but you did the “only” thing you could, you declined… sorry to hear that.

Post # 5
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@ksdim:  I wouldn’t attend if I were you.

Post # 6
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

yes you do have a right to be frustrated.  i would not attend either.  if they are reasonable people then they would not get upset about your decision.  they made the decision to not invite your SO and probably other SOs so they cannot expect those guests to be okay with attending alone.

Post # 7
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Do you live together?  If you are a dating, couple living apart then you are not a social unit, and they do not have to invite him within the guidelines of etiquette.

You are also polite to decline the invitation.

I don’t think there was an etiquette violation on either end. 

But you can feel about it how you like, and I also think I would be upset. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@ksdim:  Simply said, yes, I do think that you are not wrong to feel the way you do. You have been with this man for a long time, it is not as though you have only been dating for seven weeks.

Post # 10
Hostess
3381 posts
Sugar bee

You definitely have the right to be frustrated and given that others have recieved plus ones I’d be fuming.  But don’t feel bad.  You did the right thing be declining the invite and not making a scene.

Post # 11
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Definitely not overreacting – I think you did the right thing. I would be pretty annoyed about it too. 

Post # 12
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OP do the bride and groom know your SO? The reason I ask is because it sounds like they know both parties in that other relationship so they were both invited, not because their relationship is more serious than yours.

 

Post # 13
Member
2660 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@andielovesj:  Do you live together?  If you are a dating, couple living apart then you are not a social unit, and they do not have to invite him within the guidelines of etiquette.


Well, technically, etiquette does say that only couples who are engaged, married, or living together are invited as a social unit.  Couples living together are included in this list because etiquette assumes that a couple living together is secretly married.  This is, of course, ridiculous and is why this particular etiquette rule is severly outdated and non-applicable to today.  It’s the 21st century and many couples live together before they are married and it’s pretty clear they aren’t married.  It’s unfair to automatically invite a couple living together as a couple and not extend the same courtesy to a couple who has chosen not to live together for whatever reason.

OP, I think your friend is being rude and I’d decline the wedding.

The topic ‘Plus one issue’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors