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I feel like you have to let her go now. I'm hoping people don't do that to me, it's annoying! How do you prevent that from happening?
Oh, this is hard. I am sorry. I think that I would cave and let her come only if someone else replied no and we now had the extra space. If you don't have the extra room, then just explain to your good friend and hopefully they both understand.
I know if I were in your shoes I'd be very annoyed that this happened, but if you can accomodate it, I'd just let her come, especially if you know you'll run into her a lot in the future.
If for whatever reason you simply cannot have room for her (venue maximum or what not), then I wouldn't feel bad about telling him that you've actually reached your max and you can't possibly accomodate her... but only if that's the truth (otherwise, you might feel guilty!).
If you have room in your budget, Id say yes to let her come. If you dont then you have every right to say no. You clearly sent it to him only and I dont understand why people think they can add whoever they want! If he is a really good friend I might just bite the bullet and let him bring her. Will you have other single guys/girls for him to hang out with if he doesnt have a date?
I'm weaksauce and I would let her come. I know it's a sucky situation, but I think she'd feel pretty bad if she planned on attending and then was told she couldn't attend.
Is there any way you could make room in your seating/budget for her?
@ naangel55- His sister is actually one of my bridesmaids and he's good friends with my FI's stepbrother, so yes he'd fit in just fine without his plus one.
Ugh, that sucks. Sometimes guys can be so clueless. He probably didn't know that was in bad form. I'd say let her come, just because it would be awkward to have to tell him no. I suck at confrontation-y situations, so I tend to be a pushover.
If she's the only unexpected +1 and you have any declines, since she's already sort of a friend, just let her come and don't think about it. How annoying, though!
I agree, what a tough spot! I'd probably let her come-- and hope you get a better gift in return! Hopefully the karma will favor you in some other wedding respect!
Yes, it's easier to just let her come. This is the reason why I don't agree with not giving people plus ones. It is just too difficult to convey to them that they have to come alone or not at all. I know other people will disagree with me, but that's just how I feel. Most people do not understand the intricacies of wedding ettiquette and they will just assume they get a plus one and then be offended if they find out they don't get one.
I voted yes. Normally I'd stand firm on this, but because she is an acquaintance and you say this guy is a "dear friend" I think that it is a special exception assuming that other singles won't get riled up over it.
Thanks for the advice everyone! I think I'm going to let it go and move on. Hopefully no one else wants to bring another unexpected guest. I suck at confrontations 
It sounds like he's a close enough friend where you can maybe let this one slide? Like you said, hopefully no one else is inviting a plus one.
If possible, try to accomodate.
I can only speak from my own situation and what we've had to do recently. We have less than a month until our wedding and each time we get an RSVP back, people are adding on 3-7 guests on top. So I've had to be kind of cut throat.
Here's an example of what we're getting back:
<span style="text-decoration: underline;">"So and so, So and so's husband"
<span style="text-decoration: underline;">"Accepts with pleasure"
"Plus 5. (insert childrens names, or random family)"
After the 5th or 6th time of this happening, I finally had to put my foot down. I couldn't take it anymore. So what I did was called the guest and said:
"We just got your RSVP and we would love to be able to have all of you at the wedding. The problem is that we can only accomodate so many."
We are having an after party that is not charging us by the guest, so I make it known that the extra guests are more than welcome to attend that portion of our wedding day. Honestly, if I had the funds to accomodate everyone, I would. It's just not in our budget.
Whatever you decide to do, be sure it's best for you and the future hubby.
Good luck.
OMG. Checked the RSVPs again. One of my own bridesmaids (ironically this guest's sister) just added her own uninvited plus one - one of her friends.
Seriously?! Deep breaths... trying to not have my head explode. Maybe I should start charging admission at the door - I mean, if people are going the treat our wedding like a house party.
OK, I kind of understand the guy bringing someone..
but my bridesmaids would never rsvp + a friend without asking me about it first!
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One of our very dear friends just RSVP'd for him and a plus one. However the invite was only addressed to him. My FI and I are casual friends with the girl he wants to bring (FYI - they are friends, not dating). Normally I wouldn't have a problem, except that this is our wedding and we can only accomodate so many.
Plus, he clearly already asked her to come because under the comment section he wrote: 'Insert girl's name' and I wouldn't miss your wedding for the world!
I'm torn, because I really don't want to cause a rift. We see her at friends parties and I'm not sure if she would be extremely hurt or would understand if she found out that she wasn't invited. On the other hand, this is the same girl who asked me if she was invited to the wedding - months ago. Of course I said... we have a really big family, etc.
HELP!