(Closed) Plus one more than expected -Advice please!

posted 9 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Would you allow the uninvited guest to come?
    No way. : (9 votes)
    29 %
    Yes. It's not worth causing hurt feelings : (22 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2018

    I don’t think it’s worth it to cause a rift. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I feel like you have to let her go now. I’m hoping people don’t do that to me, it’s annoying! How do you prevent that from happening?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Oh, this is hard.  I am sorry.  I think that I would cave and let her come only if someone else  replied no and we now had the extra space.  If you don’t have the extra room, then just explain to your good friend and hopefully they both understand.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1719 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    I know if I were in your shoes I’d be very annoyed that this happened, but if you can accomodate it, I’d just let her come, especially if you know you’ll run into her a lot in the future.

    If for whatever reason you simply cannot have room for her (venue maximum or what not), then I wouldn’t feel bad about telling him that you’ve actually reached your max and you can’t possibly accomodate her… but only if that’s the truth (otherwise, you might feel guilty!).

    Post # 7
    Member
    2682 posts
    Sugar bee

    If you have room in your budget, Id say yes to let her come.  If you dont then you have every right to say no.  You clearly sent it to him only and I dont understand why people think they can add whoever they want!  If he is a really good friend I might just bite the bullet and let him bring her.  Will you have other single guys/girls for him to hang out with if he doesnt have a date?

    Post # 8
    Member
    1156 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York

    I’m weaksauce and I would let her come. I know it’s a sucky situation, but I think she’d feel pretty bad if she planned on attending and then was told she couldn’t attend.

     Is there any way you could make room in your seating/budget for her? 

    Post # 10
    Member
    4382 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

    Ugh, that sucks. Sometimes guys can be so clueless. He probably didn’t know that was in bad form. I’d say let her come, just because it would be awkward to have to tell him no. I suck at confrontation-y situations, so I tend to be a pushover.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    If she’s the only unexpected +1 and you have any declines, since she’s already sort of a friend, just let her come and don’t think about it. How annoying, though!

    Post # 12
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I agree, what a tough spot!  I’d probably let her come– and hope you get a better gift in return!  Hopefully the karma will favor you in some other wedding respect!

    Post # 13
    Bee
    13579 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

    Yes, it’s easier to just let her come.  This is the reason why I don’t agree with not giving people plus ones.  It is just too difficult to convey to them that they have to come alone or not at all.  I know other people will disagree with me, but that’s just how I feel.  Most people do not understand the intricacies of wedding ettiquette and they will just assume they get a plus one and then be offended if they find out they don’t get one.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2470 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I voted yes. Normally I’d stand firm on this, but because she is an acquaintance and you say this guy is a “dear friend” I think that it is a special exception assuming that other singles won’t get riled up over it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    It sounds like he’s a close enough friend where you can maybe let this one slide? Like you said, hopefully no one else is inviting a plus one.

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