plus ones and kiddos….

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Have you sent out invites yet?  You address Mr and Mrs, Mr or whatever.   Some people write on RSVP, 2 (or whatever) seats have been reserved in your name.  I went further, and on each RSVP, did something like

 

 

 

                                    Accepts         Regrets           Fish        Steak         vegan

 

Mr.  John Smith              _____          ______            ____       ____         ____

 

 

 

Mrs. John Smith             ______       _______           _____     ______      ______

 

 

 

 I also made clear to both moms, the invite list was FINAL.  No extras.      If people try to add, they got a call, sorry if not clear (which is bullshit, it was clear), the invite was for x and Y, we will be sorry if you cant make it.

 

Post # 5
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

PS, if you do  not put names on RSVPs, which I recommend, put a number on them.  Some idiots think it is funny to send back RSVP with “funny” names etc on them.

Post # 6
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What the pp means is to number the back of the invitation and tie it to the same number on your spreadsheet. If an RSVP card comes back blank, you will be able to figure out who sent it.

Address the invitations to those invited. If anyone writes in extra guests, you will have to conatact them and explain that there must have been a misunderstanding, that the invitation was only extended to_____.

Post # 7
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@juanita.kelly.9:  Gahhh where was this a fwe months ago when I needed it! 😉 

People have been adding  their infants and children at what I wanted to be an adults only wedding as well as their adult children and their spouses, grandchildren, and plus-ones who are friends I’ve never met..

Yeahhh… no

Post # 8
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It may be that is some cultures, weddings are open to all.  Not where I live.

Post # 9
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

When you address them, just put their names, instead of “and family” or “and guest”

On the invites, can’t you just put that it’s an adult only wedding and reception? I got an invite before that said that. 

Start spreading the word of mouth to family saying that it’s an adult only wedding and you are on a budget and not inviting plus 1’s.  

Post # 10
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m in the same boat as you – with the kids issue I have put a line in the invite saying “while we love little ones this is an adult only affair” and we are also putting a line on the RSVP saying “adult only affair”.

With not including plus ones I’ll be addressing the invite to the specific person (Jessica Rabbit instead of Jessica Rabbit and Guest). And I’ll be ready to say to people that they can’t have a plus one if they RSVP for more than just them.

 

Post # 11
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You should be very careful if you are inviting some kids and not others to do so in tiers.  For example, you can invite all the nieces and nephews but not cousin’s kids, but you can’t invite one niece and your favorite 2nd cousin without being rude.  You can kind of get around this by only inviting kids that are in the wedding party.

This rule follows through for significant others – if a guest has a serious SO, it is rude not to invite them.  You don’t have to give all the single people a date, but it’s rude to exclude partners.

Putting specific names on the RSVPs will help this, as will spreading the invite list by word of mouth.

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