Plus ones… are you supposed to give them for traveling to the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are you supposed to invite plus ones if someone is traveling to attend the wedding?
    Yes, you must let them bring a plus one bc they are traveling : (15 votes)
    33 %
    Maybe, it is nice if you can and have space : (15 votes)
    33 %
    No, not if they know multiple people there : (7 votes)
    16 %
    No, it is never required if they aren't married, engaged, or living with someone : (8 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8478 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We gave everyone traveling the option of a +1, but we didn’t have a space issue.

    Post # 3
    Member
    12410 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think anyone who is traveling for your wedding should get a +1 option.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    4528 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I would if they’re in a relationship. FI and I only get so much vacation time and don’t have the highest budget, so even when we were “just dating” I would not have likely traveled without him.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8710 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We gave everyone a +1 but didn’t have space issues. However, I would not travel cross-country just for a wedding alone. I wouldn’t expect someone to either.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4528 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    HeartsandSparkles:  I just meant as a general rule, I’d extend past engaged and include dating couples. I would not want someone to bring a friend.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3281 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We had to cut the guest list due to space, but gave plus ones to anyone who wanted to bring someone. It’s just a common courtesy. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

     

    HeartsandSparkles:  We ended up giving plus ones to everyone but we have the space and it was mainly because we discussed it and didn’t want to to deal with deciding who gets them and who doesnt. That being said- my thoughts with these things are to set the rules and stick to them and not make exceptions. I really think people only end up upset because other people are given exceptions and they aren’t. The issue is you already made the exception so it will be up to you where you will draw the line. I don’t think you were rude for wording things the way you did with him though. In his defense though, it does suck that he will have to wait until space opens up to make his own arrangements for his date. In your defense, he knows a lot of people there and doesn’t really need to bring someone just to have a date.

    Post # 13
    Member
    8897 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    HeartsandSparkles:   You don’t HAVE to but it’s nice and kind of standard which is prob why he assumed.

    You handled it well but- I don’t think you should “soften the blow” by saying- no but maybe idk yes totes if there’s space! That’s confusing, and it’s bullshit isn’t it? Be consistent, be polite but direct.

    Post # 15
    Member
    6950 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    if he was in a relationship, he could bring a date no matter how early on the relationship is.  but if it were me, i would say no to this one.

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