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Plus size dress shopping - my first time, need encouragement

posted 2 years ago in Full Figured
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    Helper bee
    JeanL1984    October 16, 2010   Kingston, PA

    So we went for my first wedding dress shopping trip today up to David's Bridal and it was interesting, to say the least! I didn't find THE dress, but I got to try on all kinds. I know David's is kind of sketchy to some people, but everyone at the one here was really nice, and the consultant was very friendly. She was nice about finding plus size dresses for me and getting ones that I wanted or were close to what I wanted. I was treated just like any other girl coming in for wedding dresses!

    I really found that all the beaded dresses didn't look good on me. If they had heavy beading up top it made me look huge. Same with the flat topped dresses, my boobs looked huge! I also wasn't a fan of pickups.

    What I did LOVE was a short dress I tried on. So cute and fun and flirty. All the bridesmaids adored it. My mom liked the longer dresses but she's said (and really means it) that she's happy if I'm happy. BUT (of course) FMIL hated it. Just hated it. Told me looking formal was more important than being comfortable, if you can believe it! I think she thinks a wedding dress that's not floor length with a train isn't 'appropriate' for a wedding. It's so discouraging. :(

    How does everyone else deal with people hating their dress choice? I didn't get anything but I know this will come up over and over. She hated the birdcage veil, and expects me to wear white shoes (nope! Purple!!!). Anyone have any tips for dealing with this? It's stressful enough being the plus sized bride trying to find a dress, but then on top of it I feel like nothing I want is good enough. Shouldn't I get to wear clothes that make me happy when I get married?

    I know - I have to be happy and I will wear what I want in the end, but I could just use some hive hugs and ways to cope with the never ending guilt trips from FMIL.

     
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    Busy bee
    TPHoliday    May 23, 2010   Seattle, WA

    *hugs*

    I'm not doing a traditional dress at all! (gray dress purple shoes, etc) and fortunately for me I've had nothing but support from everyone! That said, I was prepared for the skepticism and disdain and had created a little mentality for that (if it happened)

     

    This is what I prepared to say:

    Your fiance (her son) is marrying you, not her.  He likes your quirky style and unique personality, that is why he is in love with you and wants to be your husband.  While you appreciate her opinion you want to stay true to yourself and the person her son fell in love with and she did such a great job raising him to be a great man and therefore is an open minded man that would hate to stifle your creativity.

    Then ask her for an opinion on something you are ok with her changes (linens, flowers, etc)

    *hugs* I kill the guilt trips with kindness and words :)

     
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    Helper bee
    JeanL1984    October 16, 2010   Kingston, PA

    *hugs* Thank you TP! I think I just need to like, VENT and get it out of my system. I had three bridesmaids all there, and they were like, FREAKING out over the short dress, lol. I'm going to see if I can post some pictures! It's small (was wide open in the back) but you get the idea.

    Plus size dress shopping -  my first time, need encouragement :  wedding Shortdress

    Plus size dress shopping -  my first time, need encouragement :  wedding Shortdress2

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    1. Plus size dress shopping -  my first time, need encouragement :  wedding Img IMG_4155.JPG (79.1 KB, 31 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Plus size dress shopping -  my first time, need encouragement :  wedding Img IMG_4153.JPG (114.6 KB, 25 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    JeanL1984    October 16, 2010   Kingston, PA

    haha sob my white socks.

    I forgot to add, I tried on the short dress because my dream is to really order this next one, and based on the styles I tried today I think it will be PERFECT:

     

    http://www.dollycouture.com/index.php/collection/the-pasadena.html

     
    5.
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    Helper bee
    Emshaw    July 31, 2010  

    Jean, I think you look lovely!

    If short is what your heart desires, go short!

    I wound up buying a convertible dress (short and long!).

    As long as you're happy, that's what matters. You want to feel cute and beautiful on your big day and if it's a short dress that does that then go for it!

    PS. I think you'd look amazing in that Dolly Couture dress. I looove Dolly's dresses.

     
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    lilperiwinkle    October 10, 2010   Connecticut

    I found that sweetheart cuts and scalloped tops are really flattering on all sizes. Who cares what everyone else thinks! It's your dress and your day. I am wearing Uggs under my dress and I don't care what anyone else thinks about that. I like your short dress it is very fun and pretty. Now a days wedding dresses are fun and meant to be dressed up! I say go with what you like it's you day!

     
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    Busy bee
    SweetheartDealer    August 7, 2010   LA/ Wedding in Sonoma, CA

    Hey girl! I know how you're feeling. I think the dress looks super cute on you, and I really don't even consider it "short"! It's ankle length! The other girls are right on.. It's YOUR day, so you need to wear what makes YOU happy! Did you try anything with a corset?  I loved what that did for my shape :)

     
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    Helper bee
    stewie    May 2010  

    I love that dress. Do you know the style number?

    The Beverlywood is THE dress that I would pick if I could have anything!!

     
    9.
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    Bumble bee
    Tonya2010    September 11, 2010  

    Girl!! You look great in that dress! It is YOUR day...and you don't get many of those in your lifetime so might as well get EXACTLY what you want!!! I am wearing a shorter dress too, and I love it!!! Oh and I love Dolly Couture dresses too!! They are awesome!

     
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    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    That Dolly Couture one is stunning! I really think you should go with your instinct. I'm all about compromising for family in some situations, but in this case it's what makes you feel most beautiful that counts!

     
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    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    the dolly dress is stunning and im loving the tea lenghts - they are super stylish

     

     
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    Bumble bee
    Swiss Miss to Bee    October 10, 2010   Fairfax, VA

    Jean that Dolly dress is HOT I hope you end up with it!  I can just see you in some sleek pin up curls and red lipstick!

     
    13.
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    Sugar bee
    Ms Mini    July 17, 2010   Medicine Hat, AB

    You MUST go with the Beverlywood dress by Dolly!! It will look amazing on you with the birdcage veil and cute shoes. Your FMIL will just have to deal. She has had her chance to plan a wedding, wear a dress (I assume) so her turn is over and it is your turn to have the look of your dreams!

    I would just cease any wedding-dress discussion, and if she brings it up, tell her you want the final decision to be a surprise!!

     
    14.
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    Helper bee
    JeanL1984    October 16, 2010   Kingston, PA

    Thank you everyone for all the support. I think I really just needed to vent and get reminded that it will all be ok. :) FMIL is a nice woman, she's just always with the guilt about something, you know? My mom is ok with ordering the Dolly dress, and she's paying for it so that's what matters, right?

    The dress in the photo above was style: YP9983

    http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49995489&currentIdx=62&subCategory=-49999486|-49998998|-49995489&catentryId=6142359&sort=

    This was the one that was in 2nd place:

    http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49995489&currentIdx=3&subCategory=-49999486|-49998998|-49995489&catentryId=6144084&sort=

    I like it a lot, but I didn't LOVE it like the short dress or the Dolly dress, you know?

    I think I need a few days to recover from all this and then make a decision :)

     

     
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    Busy bee
    oyster    July 2010   Dallas

    You look beautiful in that dress! The one you want to order looks like it will be great for your shape. Go with your gut! The happiness and confidence you feel in the dress YOU want will overpower any negativity your FMIL will try to throw at you. Congrats! :)

     
    16.
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    Busy bee
    eurekaanchovies    March 27, 2010  

    I'm so sorry that your FMIL made you feel bad about the choices you really love.  What a huge disappointment that must have been.

    I say go for what you feel will feel and look good, and you look just lovely in that dress with the birdcage veil.  Stand up for yourself now, set the stage, and ultimately she'll learn to respect you for doing so.  If you give in to her now, she may expect that you'll give in in the future.

    Good luck!  You look beautiful.  Socks and all.

     
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    TheRen    May 2011  

    You look amazing!! Makes me feel so much better be a plus size and going dress shopping here soon.

     
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    Worker bee
    jooly      

    Jeani-

    You look fabulous. Truthfully, my mom did not like a lot of the choices that I made for my wedding. I wanted to wear red shoes, for example. My mother hated that idea...Of course, she does not read lots of wedding blogs. During the wedding, when I got tons of compliments on them, she thought it was a great idea. Don't worry about it! You will look super chic in either dress.

    ~Julie

     
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    Helper bee
    ILuvDance17    September 22, 2012   St. Louis

    I just want to say that the second I saw your pictures, I just thought "aww!! She looks so pretty!!" I love that dress! Good choice!

     
    20.
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    Helper bee
    JeanL1984    October 16, 2010   Kingston, PA

    Thank you all! I know I have to make a stand now and I am trying. Well, I know I'm going to end up in a short dress so it's coming. I've just gotta tell her, once I'm actually sure on a dress (who am I kidding. The Beverlywood will be in the mail sooner rather than later LOL).

    My mom wants me in a long dress, but she's letting me get what I want. I think she gets it, in a way that's bigger than a dress. She had to elope because her parents were so opposed to my dad, so she knows a dress is like, so minor in the overall scheme of things.

    Thank you all for your support. It was much needed tonight. *hugs* to all :D

     
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    Busy bee
    Violachap    November 13, 2010   California, MD (Wedding in Norfolk, VA)

    I love the 50's style wedding dresses that are coming back! You look so cute! It's your wedding, and you get to decide what style of wedding you get to have.

     
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    Busy bee
    waitingbee    September 4, 2010   California

    Awwwww you look so beautiful.Go with the dress you love, you will feel your most beautiful.

     
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    Bumble bee
    MrsK2be    November 15, 2008   Ohio

    I'm sure your FMIL has preconceived notions and expectations based on her wedding, society and tradition.

    I think in the long run, she will come around to your (very cute) short dress selection.  I also think she will respect you more in the long run for sticking to your own tastes and preferences.  It is your wedding and you don't want to look at your wedding pics years from now and still feel resentful that your MIL pressured you into something...

    Go for it!  I love love love the DOlly dress!

     
    24.
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    Blushing bee
    TrixieStix    October 26, 2010   NY

    you look beautiful and you can see it in your face that you feel beautiful in it and that's what matters. i actually tried on that dress on wednesday night! i went to david's after attending an expo on sun (they gave me a coupon to use i figured might as well get my feet wet and try on some dresses). the experience was so much better than i was expecting. i had heard some horror stories as well and my sister had purchased her dress at a david's 5 years ago (she was not a plus sized bride Smile) and the whole experience was pretty terrible - it had a Costco feel to it. very rushed, impersonal, alot going on.  my experience on wednesday was awesome and i found my dress there too! the girl was great, very knowledgable, didn't try to sell me on something or force me into something i didn't want. i don't feel like i bought a "plus sized" wedding dress. i bought my wedding dress! (and i used my coupon).

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    I think you look lovely and I LOVE the BC Veil! Love your purple shoes idea too :)

    SEriously, wear whatever you want! It is the only day in your life that it's all about you and you get to choose what everyone else wears as well as yourself. Wear what makes you feel beautiful, you will regret it if you don't.

    To your FMIL's point though, I actually did not purchase my favorite dress b/c I didn't think it was formal enough for our wedding. I made the choice, no one else chimed in. It was a beautiful dress and really flattered me, but the material and the style were way more appropriate for a beach wedding than a ballroom wedding. I absolutely LOVE the dress I ended up with and the plus side is I feel really good about it as it meets ALL the criteria I was looking for. I'm tempted to buy my 'real favorite' for a TTD shoot or something!

    Just wanted to give you an alternate point of view :) But seriously, Do WHAT MAKES You FEEL BEAUTIFUL!!

     
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    Honey bee
    bestbuddies    June 6, 2010   Chicago, Illinois

    I really like the dress! i saw this dress online and loved it! very flattering but it looks like it is too big and you need to get it altered a bit. is your wedding very formal? based on the rules of weddings...if it is really formal then unfortunatly this wont work but if it is informal or not too formal you can totally do it!!! if you are having a formal wedding this could be your reception dress if your budget allows.

    but this is by the rules of wedding....i say this is a one in a life time event do what makes you happy and wear what makes you feel beatiful. you sure do look great in this dress! i love it :D

    good luck and keep us posted!

     
    27.
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    Buzzing bee
    Magenta    July 31, 2010   Springfield MA- Wedding in PR

    i love dolly couture dress and i will choose dolly before db any day... go for short, im a short dress bride too... you are the one getting married not her

     
    28.
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    Helper bee
    Goodie    September 10, 2011   Midwest

    If you do get that dress, I'd make it even shorter! It's cute on you!

     
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    Honey bee
    bestbuddies    June 6, 2010   Chicago, Illinois

    i second goodie! make it a little shorter :D

     
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    Helper bee
    amaroo24    June 12, 2010   Ithaca, NY

    congrats on going for a short dress!!  I also went with a not as formal dress that only goes to the floor (no train!).   This is your day and there are places to make compromises... the dress that makes you feel beautiful is not one of them.

     
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    Busy bee
    dachshund    May 22, 2010   Fresno, CA

    Jean, I'm a plus sized bride, too, (Size 20, so I know how hard dress shopping is) and I just ordered the beverlywood!  Dolly and her team are sooo freaking nice.   I visited this weekend for my measurements, and to see some dresses in person.  I think you'll love it and it'll be very flattering!

    I tried on that David's bridal dress too, BTW, and it was pretty flattering on me.  My mom liked it a lot, but I didn't really want something lacy like that.

    Go for what you love!  In the end, you don't want to have dress regret.  Their turnaround time is 8-12 weeks, and is only $75 more for 6-8 weeks.  In a few weeks you'll be able to see how it looks on me  : )

     
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    Blushing bee
    socalbride86    July 7, 2010   Chicago

    Hey, so I dont think the one you tried on was short... I thought it looked GREAT on you. The "next one" I did not like that one as much... BUT you could TOTALLY wear that to the reception and this David s Bridal one to the ceremony with a long veil? and maybe enter your reception with the birdcage veil... you re FMIL needs to be quiet and just be supportive, also only take one person dress shopping with you... everyone has different opinions and it will only confuse you!

     

     

     
    33.
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    Helper bee
    EMARILU    ????   LOS ANGELES

    Well I gotta say you look great in those pics.  N keep in mind that confidence is key.   This coming ofcourse from a self-conscious full figured gal.  The most important thing is that you love the dress your in. 

     
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    Helper bee
    katiaitalia    April 21, 2012  

     

    Hi,

    Its a cute dress yes,I know know people may attack me because here is mostly positive comments,,but can i tell my opinion?

    After testing on my self and as well reading lots of advise on the internet,watching programs on tv on what not to wear,,i can definitly say that  short dresses for a bride even they are cute can be not flattering if u r not very tall and you are also plus size ,i can say that being myself a plus size too,,i noticed that long dress on me  made me look taller then i am, therefore slimming effect,,if u looked my pic, with a long dress and trein it give lot of lenght!!and the thing that stops right at the ancle shortens us more..but if you tried many dress on and this is the one you see your self best then go for it!!its very cute dress after all!!but suggestion if u still didnt buy try different,,u will be surprise on the result!!:)

     

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