Post # 1
I was in relation with my bf for 3 years (distant) we met around 3-4 times during this but we used to talk daily…he used to become angry for small things if i said no for anything and yell at me and used to cut the call but later we used to become normal and this continued…recently we have decided to make our parents talk regarding our wedding and thats when it all started.He keeps manipulating his words and lies to me but to cover them up he shouts on me and later tells me sorry but says that becoz u made me angry i had to say such mean words and agrees later sometime that he did lie to me ….he planned all of a sudden to do his phd and says he cant marry for the coming 3 years but my parents wont agree for it….he started talking to me in a more rude way calling me all bad words and speaks in a disrespecting way on my father..if i say no or i dont do anything immediately for him he loses his patience and talks in a very sarcastic and mean way…and later tells me it was my mistake and that im over reacting…i told my parents about the bad words hez using and then he started telling me that our relation is straining because i told my parents and I should have told my sister or parents…but even after i still gave him a chance and i was normal bt he is still the same he blocks me when he gets angry for no reason says mean words to me and blocks me so that he need not listen to what i say…i recently told him its over but im still feeling bad that was it my mistake anywhere…
Post # 3
I’m having a really hard time following what you’re trying to write here… but it sounds like you both having some growing up to do, different priorities, etc.
Maybe give it some more time and I am not sure if you actually broke up with him or not.. but if you did, it’s probably best to be away from a guy who has such anger issues.
Post # 4
Ok…he sounds like a classic abuser. I think you are well rid of him and deserve better.
Post # 5
@helpval: I’m really confused… you’ve been dating for 3 years and you’re long distance and have only met 3-4 times? My advice would be to either get to know each other better in person or to find a new man closer to home…
Post # 6
You need to break up with him and never see him again.
Post # 7
Yup he sounds abusive, so I’d say so far you’re lucky he’s on the other end of the phone and not the other end of the room. This is just a bad situation all around and you deserve a lot better than this.
Post # 8
@babytoes: Yes, I’m a little lost as well.
Post # 9
@helpval: Woah. Sounds like you need to leave him… or take a break… This sounds exausting and I am exausted for you after reading your post
Post # 10
@helpval: he is controlling, manipulative and abusive. leave him now and don’t look back. you will never be happy or safe with him.
Post # 11
@helpval: There is nothing you can do to make this angry man happy. He’s going to be mad no matter what! I’m so glad you called it off and now he will never treat you poorly again!
Post # 12
@helpval: Its not your mistake. He’s a controlling bully and if he is this bad to you long distance he would be a nightmare to be married too. Find someone who treats you kindly with live and respect.
Post # 13
@helpval: why on earth would you want to marry a guy who insults you and your family over every little thing that upsets him? Do you want to live this way for the rest of your life and have him treat your children this way too?
Post # 14
@helpval: As the other bees have said, these are all signs of abuse. If you marry him this behaviour will continue and it could get worse. I know it might be upsetting to hear, but please do not marry him. He will make your life very sad.
Post # 15
@helpval: Thank you all for replying to my post and understanding me….to the above who asked if it was nly 3 years that i know him…no i know him from 7 years…we were classmates for 4 years and after that v prosposed and got into this relation….he used to say such bad words to his freinds and roomies(though in a lighter note just while talkig and teasing)…..he messaged me again today saying that such fights do happen in every relation and v shud adjust and forget them and move ahead and not to shatter our dreams…but im really not sure coz i know he never wants to leave me but im not sure if he would ever change his attitude and behavior….my parents and sister who agreed and supported me in my relation are completely against it from the past one month after seeing his behavior….but im really depressed y it happended all of a sudden…did it all happen because of me telling my parents about his bad behavior??if i would ever get any guy who will love me even this much…???and i really cant marry him without my parents and family accepting him…im so broken…:(
Post # 16
@helpval: I know it’s upsetting you but this is NOT the only man who will love you 🙂
You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel good and supports you not with someone who makes makes you feel sad.
Also, family support is so important. This relationship sounds like it will only cause you more pain in the future if you continue with it and marry him. I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation!