(Closed) PLZ HELP!!!

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

Do you mean will the Presbyterian Church allow it?  I think they will if you are Christian.  I don’t think the Catholic Church will recognize it, but I’m not Catholic so I don’t really know.

Post # 5
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

Isn’t there someone at your church you could call and get answers to your questions?

Post # 6
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You can get married in the Catholic church whether or not he’s Catholic. I get kinda confused about the church’s recognition of non-Catholic weddings. My understanding is, they recognize you are married, as in yes, it’s legal. And no, you aren’t “living in sin” or any of that. But you won’t have received the sacrament of marriage. I think Protestant churches usually let anyone get married in them. 

You can always have a convalidation ceremony, which is when the church validates the marriage if you’ve been married somewhere else. 

Post # 7
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You can get legally married anywhere you want.  But the Catholic Church will not recognize the marriage unless it is either done in the church OR you get a dispensation.  You CAN get a dispensation to marry in another church if you have a good reason to.  My first marriage was done in a non-Catholic church with a dispensation.  My husband was Catholic, I was not and it was important to my family that we be married in the church I’d grown up in.  We got the dispensation and our marriage was recognized by the Catholic Church.  We could have also gotten married in the Catholic Church even though I wasn’t Catholic….we just chose not to.

But here is where I disagree with jedeve (sorry!).  The problem is if you marry outside the Catholic Churcn WITHOUT a dispensation, the church will not recognize your marriage.  So if you do live as a married couple, you are living in sin.  You are still legally married, but in the eyes of the Church, the marriage is invalid.  Yor are not in a state of grace and will not be allowed to receive communion until you go to confession AND live chastely until the marriage is convalidated.

Yeah, that sucks.  That’s where I am.  I was just married in a city hall wedding and am working on the convalidation part.  We are not doing so well with the living chastely…but we are trying.

If you can arrange a Catholic marriage in time, or get a dispensation, I would highly recommend doing that.  Otherwise, you will (if it is important to you) need to get your marriage convalidated in order for the Church to consider you married.

Post # 8
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

I’m Presbyterian and my hubs is Catholic and we got married at the Catholic church he grew up in and it was fine.  I showed the priest a note from our pastor that I’d been baptized and that was about it.

We didn’t have a full mass but a ceremony since non-Catholics aren’t permitted to take communion in a Catholic church and that seemed kinda like a lame way to separate half the people attending the wedding. 

But other than that it was pretty smooth sailing.

Post # 9
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My FI is catholic and I’m  protestant.  My uncle is a methodist minister and will be marrying us in an outdoor ceremony.  According to FI, our marriage will not be recognized in the catholic church.

Post # 10
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I answered this on the other post.  You need to talk to your priest about what can be done.  I’d say the biggest thing will be getting around the diocese’s requirements for marriage preparation.  If you have problems with your priest at all, it may be a good idea to find out who is the dean of the deanery (a diocese is composed of multiple deaneries.  The deaneries are the parishes nearby each other.  The priests in the deanery have regularly meetings.) and to contact him rather than contacting parish after parish.  However, I’m not sure how to advise you to find out who the dean is.  In my own situation, my parish priest had had a stroke.  We had a temporary priest assigned to our parish, but he was newly ordained, from another country and had no clue what he was doing.  We had issues with him not showing up to celebrate scheduled Masses. 

The secretary was no help.  The DRE later told me I should have come to her as she eventually did put her foot down with him because he was trying to stop already scheduled weddings from happening because he thought you couldn’t schedule a wedding without first going through all the marriage prep and approvals.  

Anyway, I don’t believe you should have the troubles we had.  Most people don’t.  Stay strong.  God will provide a way for you to marry.  Don’t give into temptation.

Post # 11
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Church & The Engine Room at Georgetown Studios

Here is the question.  Does your FI plan to become Catholic?  Is it important to you to recieve the sacrament of marriage and to have your marriage recognized in the Catholic church?  If Yes, then you and your FI need to talk and make sure you are in agreement.  This is your marriage and regardless of what your FMIL wants you to do, you should begin your life in the way that is consistant with how you plan to live it. You probably wouldn’t have a full Mass, but you can still have a Catholic wedding in a Catholic Church.  Best of luck!

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