Post # 1
Regular Bee gone anon.
I’ve added a poll so you can answer while remaining anon too 🙂
I’m probably being PMS-y but for 2 weeks last month and a couple of days this cycle I just feel so numb towards my FI. When we hug and kiss I feel nothing :'( My feelings did mostly come back after I felt this way last month, but is this normal or a bad sign?
We actually had a big fight 2 days ago over a stupid, small thing and we didn’t even kiss for 24 hours (we live together). This is VERY unusual for us.
I wrote a word document on my computer last year and listed all the things I love about FI and read it when I feel a little down and it’s 3 pages long!! Seriously 🙂 I really do know that I love him and he’s almost perfect, yet right now all I can focus on is the negativity of his one flaw: he can be patronising so sometimes I feel he doesn’t resect me or see me as an equal.
I don’t want to start a fight by bringing it up again when he gets home as I’m feeling pretty volatile right now and will probably start an argument..
Anyway, aside from venting I just want to know if I’m normal or if this is a bad sign. Internet hugs and words of wisdom welcome 🙂
Post # 3
@im_an_anon_weddingbee_user: Big Internet Hugs!!! I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I can’t offer any advice on the numbness – I’ve never experienced that and I can’t really relate, but I did want to offer one piece of advice on him being “almost” perfect: No One Is Perfect. Seriously, if you try to find a perfect man, you’ll be alone forever. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty flawed myself.
I think the trick is finding someone who’s flaws you can live with, and aren’t dealbreakers. I’m messy and a bit of a packrat, and my husband likes everything in its place. I know it drives him nuts when I leave stuff out, and I do make an effort to keep things organized, but it doesn’t always happen. He realizes that in the grand scheme of things, a little clutter is not going to make or break our marriage.
His patronizing sounds awful, but it also sounds like something he could work on if he cared to. Have an honest conversation (without yelling maybe?) to try to work out a calm way you can let him know when he is doing that. And while you’re in the conversation, offer him an opportunity to let him know if there’s anything he’d like you to work on. Maybe then it’d feel more fair to him. Good luck!!
Post # 4
@im_an_anon_weddingbee_user: I encourage you to see a doctor. I don’t think what you are describing is PMS but sounds more like depression.
You should also talk to your FI about how you are feeling. Try not to use accusational language but try using statements like when this happens it makes me feel ……….
Post # 5
I think love changes throughout a relationship. It goes from that instant chemistry (heart racing and weak knees), to fondness, to companionship, to deep love. Not in that order… but it is a constant flux. Never is it the same. So I don’t think it’s practical to expect to feel the same exact way physically or emotionally towards your spouse.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I think this is one of those things where you are allowing yourself to focus in the negative, and allowing that negativity to cast a pall over everything. It’s like this (except you don’t hate your FI, you are just indifferent to him).