- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Today I got a voicemail that made me sad.
Backstory, so that this makes sense. Back in 09, when I was like 18, my stepdad lent me money to buy a new car because mine kicked it. He found the car, basically made me borrow the money and helped me buy it. It was super nice of him!
He’s mechanic and he says he likes working on my car (he usually does big trucks)
I got a flat the other day, my tires are wearing funny and while we were loikig at it he says “I’ll just send it in next week to tire place where i have an account t and we’ll just get it fixed”
Okay, so this sounds a lot to me like he’s going to put it on his account. Which,I can’t lie, I even kind of appreciate because I have put a LOT of miles on it for him, and wear and tear is what does these things. I didn’t, and never, expect anything though. He always offers, I even try to pay at the parts shop when we go together for parts and he doesnt let me.
So I drop the car of and call him to ask if I should ok the tire shop to hange the other tie rod end that we didn’t last time we worked on the car. I left a voicemail, and he called me back and left a voicemail saying that the tie rod should be changed and I should tell them to do it or I wlll be wasting my money on te alignment.
Ack.. Okay maybe it’s nots going on the account after all. Now I’m a little embarrassed cu I sent a text saying I’d do some free hours for the business because of this and he never even really was paying for it and I put my foot square in my mouth.
And then the next voicemail. Oh pocket mail, how i despise you. It was muffled and I didn’t hear t all but basically he called me presumptuous and spoiled and now I feel like a complete and total ass hole.
I had no friggig clue that he felt this way about me! I am.. So totally floored. I’m a full time student, but up until I stared school I was paying him back on the plan we agreed on. When I went back to school, he said we could hold off unil I was working, so that’s what’s been happening. I bring it up now and again and he always tells me not to worry about it .
And now this.. Now im presumptuous and spoiled because I graciously accepted help my my almost dad. I am just… I don’t even know. The FIRSt thing I’m doing when I go back to work is finishin paying him back in full plus some. I don’t have any financial burdens as I now and I’m sure if Iexplain to FI, he’ll let me dedicate the first couple to just getting that one out of the way completely.
I suppose i will stop “assuming” he likes helping too. I mean, they’re not my words at all but hey.. I guess maybe nt reading between the lines makes me spoiled?
I will admit, since my mom met my step-dad, for the first time we had a financially well of parent. And yes, he’s helped me along the way FOR SURE. But I have also earned my keep, put in countless hours in the office an the shop, I’m always there when they need a ride (even the 800km trips) I really try to do my bit to stay involved and be helpful. The way he talks TO me, I always thought there was give and take between us.
This realization that e thinks in doing more taking really has me feeling crappy.
Any advice? Do I bring it up and ask him for his side? Let it go? I don’t even know.. I thought we really had a good relationship.. I do nothing but sing his praises and to know he’s doing the opposite really makes me feel like a total ass 🙁
Where the heck did I go wrong?!