- Mr. Bee
- 8 years ago
Setting Weddingbee policy can be a tricky thing, and so as often as possible we like to involve the hive.
With that in mind, please help us think through a recent issue that emerged on our full-figured board! 🙂
Before we talk it through, I want to clarify one thing about Weddingbee. I’ve read on the boards recently that Weddingbee was designed to be a “community of support”.
We’re really glad to hear that, but that’s actually an accident. The only thing we’ve done by design (besides remove spam!!) is to occasionally police personal attacks and snarky comments.
One thing we don’t police is people’s opinions. It is 100% OK to post your opinion, even if you disagree with the OP or if your opinion is unpopular (although you may hear from other users about your opinion!). The only thing we ask is that you avoid attacking another user or responding to another user with something snarky.
This recent issue is tricky, because it wasn’t in any way a personal attack against another user… but it could be perceived as a comment against a group of women (petite women).
So the policy question emerges: how should we as a community handle comments which might be seen as an “attack” against a group of people… especially if the comment wasn’t meant as an attack.
There was a recent thread where someone shared a saying meant to reassure other full-figured women and help them feel good about themselves:
ONE DAY WHEN I WAS BEING DOWN ON MYSELF, MY GRANDFATHER TOLD ME A LITTLE PHRASE THAT COMPLETLY CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT MY BODY AND MADE ME LOVE MYSELF FOR WHO I REALLY AM…. THIS PHRASE IN NOT MET TO HURT ANYBODYS FEELINGS… THAT BEAUTIFUL PHRASE WAS….
MEAT IS FOR REAL MEN AND BONES ARE FOR DOGS.
Some petite women quickly pointed out that that reassurance came at the cost of more petite ladies.
- “It is very sweet that he made you feel better!! Women are beautiful at any size and shape as long as they are healthy, But, um, I am naturally really thin so that phrase actually stings a little for me”
- “That’s nice your grandpa said that to you and it made you feel better but I do think it’s mean to thinner women and probably is something you should keep to yourself since it can be hurtful.”
A few points followed shortly after, outlining pros and cons:
- “I’m thin. Not hurt. I think it’s funny and cool that he put a smile on your face. All women have issues with the way they look, and ladies, keep in mind that full figured people often have to put up with way more crap than that cute phrase that her grandfather said!”
- “she did post in “full figured” to share with other full figured women that could smile at it. I see your point though, about making everyone feel good; but I feel like a way to feel good is also to not always take things so seriously and be able to laugh at ourselves and have humour..”
- “I don’t think that it is okay to post negative comments about a generalized group of individuals on any board. The intended audience doesn’t make the underlying meaning any less negative or offensive.”
We’d love your input in both the comments and the related poll… and also, suggestions on approaches to handle situations where a comment might be perceived as an attack on a group of people.
After we’ve heard from lots of people on thoughts and potential approaches, we will create a separate thread where we will collate the various approaches – which could range from:
- doing nothing…
- to not allowing comments that might be seen as a personal attack by a certain class of women…
- to something in between (please insert clever idea here!).
Then after we’ve gotten feedback on the various approaches and suggestions for other approaches, we’ll put it to a vote in a final thread. 🙂
Plus, please help us take take the temperature of the earlier thread by voting in the related poll.
ps I mentioned this earlier, but I love that someone said that “All bees are BEEautiful”. We couldn’t agree more! 🙂