(Closed) Poll – How are you handling “plus ones”?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How are you handling your "plus ones"?
    For the most part, all single friends will get a +1 : (27 votes)
    42 %
    Single friends in an established relationship will get a +1 : (16 votes)
    25 %
    Single friends in an established relationship for a certain amount of time will get a +1 : (12 votes)
    19 %
    No one outside of married couples : (2 votes)
    3 %
    We will decide on a case-by-case basis : (6 votes)
    9 %
    Do you know how much weddings cost? No +1 unless your husband/boyfriend recently gave me a kidney! : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Hmm, I was confused at first because our friends in established relationships aren’t single, so I’m assuming that’s what you meant 🙂

    Anyhoo, we’re only allowing friends who are in serious relationships bring a plus one. And we wrote that person’s name in the envelope so there was no confusion. Most of my actual single friends all know each other and live in the same area, so I didn’t think it was necessary to give them a plus one for the sake of bringing someone. If they weren’t going to know anyone at the wedding at all, then I may have reconsidered.

    Post # 4
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    we did the same – friends in serious relationships had their +1s written on the invite. we left the single ones open – so far no one’s sprung an “i have to bring a date” on us.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We are only allowing +1 for people who have been in a relationship for at least a year. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    For the most part, they have to be in an established relationship BUT some people are flying across the country for our wedding, so we figured they could bring a date whether or not they’re in an established relationship, ya know?

    Post # 8
    Member
    4382 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

    I was just wondering the same thing! I’m still not sure how to go about it. The no ring, no bring method seems a little harsh to me, so I think we’ll go with if we know they have a bf/gf, then we’ll invite them. No extraneous +1s though.

    Post # 9
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We did plus ones for almost all unmarried friends. We have a lot of friends who don’t know each other, and we wanted them to have the option of bringing someone along since they wouldn’t know anyone.

    In the end, pretty much none of our friends could get dates, which cut our guest list down by a lot.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    As an unmarried guest, I’ve always appreciated the +1.  I know that everyone is on a budget, but it makes me feel like a more special guest.  I don’t always fill the +1, but I think it’s a nice gesture.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    they have to pretty much be living with the person if they want to have their significant other, we’re having a very small wedding. and my single friends know the smallness of the wedding, so i’m not expecting any complaints. if they do complain, too bad.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I am only allowing mrried couples, and one live-in

    Post # 13
    Member
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We are pretty laid back on the +1 issue.  As long as they tell me I really dont care.  We are doing an appetizer reception and is priced to be about $5 a head, so we are good with it.  It also helps that we only have a guest list of about 100ppl even with the extra ppl.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6598 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    It was really important to us that EVERYONE was allowed to bring a date and so we set our max # that fit in our budget 52 people – cut that in half 26 people for him to invite and 26 for me and so that is 13 friends plus their guest!!!!!

    I think this is backwards from the way most people do it but it was really important to us that everyone is allowed to bring a guest if they choose and we have a small wedding with all of very close friends and family! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I am inviting all single peeps with a plus one out of courtesy but do not think all of them will bring a plus one. And, let’s face it, if they have a partner or friend to dance the night away with they will have more fun at your wedding!

    Post # 16
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I am doing you can bring your significant other if youve been datng for at least a year, I don’t really have anyone who only “almost” makes it. Basically if you have a boyfriend now then he’ll be invited but if you get one soon he wont be. We will also write on the inite the SO name. The only exception to our “rule” is if you will not know anyone else at the wedding and are single you can bring a date if you wish and these people will get “and guest”.

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