Post # 91
rosydelight : Yes, this a pretty odd and unique situation. However, there are a LOT of things at play here which make things not so straightforward, so I wouldn’t be so quick to judge someone:
- culture, being the child of immigrants
- medical condition
- low self esteem/dating anxiety
- financial/legal issues with the house
- lack of ‘adult life’ experience.
While I agree that starting therapy/counseling sounds like an excellent idea, it really doesn’t help you right at this moment with your current situation. Honestly I would pass on the job right now but start slowly becoming more and more independent both financially and mentally/emotionally. And I still stand by my original suggestion of moving to a nearby big city like Chicago, Indianapolis, Cleveland or Pittsburgh in the next two years before making the leap all the way to California where you don’t know anyone and might be overwhelmed.
All the best OP! Wishing you the best. Glad your mom was supportive 🙂
Post # 92
nifer317 : Russia is the culture
“Shouldn’t she be making plans to live with her fiancée? Would they both live there and expect you to move out? Would she expect you to live with them? Would you want to? Would he contribute money and you then contribute less? How is this a financial issue if you did move if potentially he’d be able to help her and move in/contribute? I’m not understanding this part of the drama. “
He would move in and I would still live there in this case, but no concrete plans for this right now. If he moved in it would only be fair that he would contribute to paying for the house. I would be fine living with both of them, but moving to CA sounds even more exciting and fun…as long as my salary would be ok and I wouldn’t be too overwhelmed.
I apologize if all this sounds non sensical, from my viewpoint it isn’t. Thank you all for your input. I will update in a few months.
Post # 93
I had my interview last night and was sorely disappointed. The person called me 6 minutes late and the phone connection was horrible on their end. They also had a very thick accent, which made it even more difficult to understand them. The interview gave me some good ideas on what I need to work on, but I did not feel that the company was the place for me, because the interview just didn’t feel like it was conducted very professionally
A little bit ago, I talked to a very wise lady and she advised me that:
– getting laid off in Cali is much worse than getting laid off in Ohio because of the cost of living
– if my plan was to move to Cali for a couple years, save some money, then move back, that was probably not realistic, as I wouldn’t have much left over
– I should think about what I liked most in San Francisco and try to make those things happen here (ie get out of the house more)
So for now, I am staying put. I appreciate everyone’s advice.
Also, good news: I have had three dates in a row that went really well (as in, they wanted to go on a second date). Not sure what changed, except I stopped caring how they went. I mean, I put in effort, but was not emotionally attached ot the result because I knew I might be leaving town soon. One started talking about how many kids we were going to have, how he would love to come home and cook dinner for his significant other etc, and this was just too much for me after one date. The other two I am still talking to.
Post # 94
lauralaura123 : Sorry to hear about your interview, but so happy that you’re in a better place now after evaluating all your options! :). You don’t need to do everything now, take it one step at a time – adventures across the country will always await you later if that’s what you want!
Also, staying put does not need to mean that you’re inhibiting your personal growth, as you clearly have demonstrated 🙂
Post # 95
akshali2000 : You’re so sweet! Thank you!
I have also been using the opportunity of my mom being out of town to do serious grocery shopping, get the house organized, and going new places (not that I couldn’t do those things with her here, but it’s easy to just let her take on responsibilities when she is)
Post # 96
lauralaura123 : That’s awesome! Maybe to make things feel a little new, you could take on some decoration or house retrofit projects? Or just start with your room maybe. Just an idea if you want that excitement of moving without moving haha.