- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
We are debating between 3 and 4 in our bridal party. Here’s the issue..
I have 3 girls who are friends who will be in my bridal party. If we do 4, I will be asking FI’s younger half-sister who is college-age (she will be 21 at the time) to be my 4th. Originally, I was really adamant about having a very small bridal party – just going a MOH/BM or just doing 3 people tops, but now that I mentioned possibly having FSIL in my bridal party, FMIL said, “She would really love that, you thinks the world of you” and I do know it would be important/meaningful/fun for her and I don’t think 4 is too much. I like the idea of 4 now.
FI is the one with the real issue. He has a full brother, a best friend, and then a few close friends and a younger half-brother who is 15 (will be turning 16 a few months after the wedding). He is torn between asking his full brother or his best friend as BM. He has finally made the decision that he is going to ask his best friend to be his BM. That still leaves the question of the 4th spot. He has 2 friends he could ask who he is close with, but not THAT close with, or his little brother.
Or, we could just have 3 and ask the other 2 half-siblings to do something else.
We will be having a Jewish ceremony and reading bible passages will not be an option for us.
I told FI we could ask them to read a poem or write a speech and make a speech at the ceremony (we will probably have more speeches later and the Jewish ceremony is fairly short) and/or be ushers (although – what do ushers do? if all they do is help people find their seats, we don’t need that, we have a wedding coordinator/planner who will be doing everything the day-of).
What would you do? Here are our options:
Do 3 on each side, half siblings will do something else
Do 3 on each side, half siblings will walk down the aisle and nothing else
Do 4 on each side, include the half-sister in mine, a friend in his and have half-brother do something else
Do 4 on each side, including both half-siblings
I also have an older sister, who declined the invite to be a bridesmaid, and a younger brother who my FI is not very close to, so we will not be asking to be in the bridal party. I do think it might look a bit weird to have FI’s entire family (his baby sister will be almost 1 and our flower girl) in our bridal party and NONE of mine, but my sister declined and is not bringing her kids, so my hands are pretty tied in that respect, it’s not for lack of trying.
I really don’t want his half-siblings to feel left out. I am not and do not have any half-siblings, so I don’t know if half-siblings might have any sort of insecurities about not being the same as “full siblings” (they only lived together for a short time, but FI says he doesn’t even think of them as half-siblings, to him they’re the same as full – but they’re young and I don’t want their feelings hurt).
FI does think his half-brother is a bit young to be in the bridal party. He won’t be able to go to the bachelor party and he can’t even send him the card he plans on sending all his guys to be groomsmen (it comes with a cigar).
What do you think?