Settle the debate – do guests get thank you cards just for attending?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do guests get thank you cards for just coming to the wedding if they don't bring a gift?
    Yes : (216 votes)
    52 %
    No : (194 votes)
    46 %
    Other -- I'll explain below. : (8 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    In my experience, yes you must thank everyone that came to the wedding formally. It is polite and since they are your loved ones and friends it shouldn’t be weird or a problem. But then, I know this differs even in the same region.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    While most of our guests brought at the least a card, we still sent out thank-you’s if they signed the guest book. Some couldn’t make it to the reception, and I still wanted to thank them for attending the ceremony!

    Post # 6
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @TwoStatesBride:  I have always understood that a thank you card is sent to thank someone for a gift and that sending a thank you card to someone who didn’t send a gift is the paramount of rudeness because it points out that you noticed they didn’t send a gift.  We are fixing the issue by sending Christmas/thank you cards.  Christmas greetings only go to people whom did not bring gifts.  Christmas greetings with thanks for the gift to those that did bring a gift.

    Post # 7
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @TwoStatesBride:  Nope, because the reception is your way of thanking them for coming to the ceremony. If they get a gift then that gets a thank you card.

    Post # 8
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    no. why would i thank you just for coming? i invited you, you came. you should thank me for the dinner, drinks and partying; and then i’ll thank you for thanking me

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    to me, just coming to my wedding was a gift in itself, so i sent thank you’s to everyone who came.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @lillyhere:  I disagree. you threw the party to celebrate your wedding and Iwent because you asked me too. the least you can do is feed me!

    Post # 13
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @TwoStatesBride:  🙂

     

    @bebero:  right. and I fed and entertained you. if you want to send me a gift, go ahead and I will thank you for it. if you don’t send me anything, neither will I because at this point we are pretty even, no?

     

    not being snarky at ya, just following the logic. 

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    650 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @bebero:  Well the idea is, hopefully, you went because you wanted to celebrate  – not just because you were asked.

    Post # 15
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We are definitely thankiing everyone who attends. I can’t imagine not thanking folks who took time out, got dressed up to come and celebrate with me and here I am not sending them a thank you card. It’s not THAT expensive and it will go a long way in showing appreciation.

    Post # 16
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @lillyhere:  Woah, I do feel like me providing a place for friends to gather and enjoy a night of drinking dancing and fun is a way of thanking them for making my day special but I wouldn’t go this far. I intend to visit with every person to thank them for coming, verbally.

    What you’ve said borders on entitlement!

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