POLL! Should I Invite My New CoWorkers to my Destination Wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I Invite My New CoWorkers/Friends and Bosses?
    Yes, Send them the STDs : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Yes, But only as a Plan B list after people RSVP no : (2 votes)
    6 %
    No, Don't invite any of them : (30 votes)
    86 %
    Other (explain below) : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3806 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    i say no because they are your coworkers. invite your friends and family. everyone likes loves their new job, new coworkers, new office, new parking spot, new commute, etc when they start at a new company. 

    a DW is usually a very intimate affair so why invite a bunch of people you work with? and that is a bunch. and another thing, if you invite all of these workers to a DW, who will be there to do the work? it doesn’t make sense to me.

    Post # 4
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @futuremrsk18:  I’m thinking no. The point of a destination wedding is that you only invite those closest to you -a good criteria is who you’d be comfortable asking to go on vacation with you-and coworkers who you’re slowly building up a relationship with don’t really fall into this category. If you were having a wedding locally then I’d say invite them, but I just think it would be a little awkward to ask them to come to a DW. Requesting that someoone travel hundreds of miles for your wedding is a big ask and I just feel like it would be too soon in your relationship with your co-workers for that. 

    Are you having some kind of party to celebrate your marriage when you get back? You should definitely invite them to that if you are.  

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee

     Personally (and by the most polite standards) you do not mix business and pleasure.

    If you do decide to invite them, I certainly wouldn’t send them an STD.  If when invites go out, you still think they are so wonderful, and you are actual friends (not work mates) then invite them then.

    Save the Dates are many times more heartache then benefit.  A quick search will reveal 16,468,851 threads of bees who sent STD’s then relationships changed through either real or preceived slight, and they now want to revoke the invitation/STD.

    I would only send a STD to someone who I would want to cancel the wedding without them being there. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Keep private life and work life separate. Unless you’ve hung out socially outside of work and can say they are friends, not just coworkers, then no. And then you invite only the ones you could call your friends. I’ve been at my job about the same time and none of them are being invited, but quite a few of my friends from my last job — who I still go out socially with — are invited.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    I voted no because I wouldn’t want any co-workers at my wedding, lol, even though I get along with them.  The only co-workers that were invited are those that are now my friends and no longer co-workers, so I keep in touch of them since we (or I) had moved on from whatever jobs we had.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @futuremrsk18:  If you stopped working at your job and would still be friends with them, then invite them. If you hang out with them outside of work when you aren’t being paid to, then invite them. Otherwise, please don’t. I would be creeped out if a my coworker invited me to something as personal as a wedding if we weren’t actually friends (and this has happened – talk about awkward). Especially with a destination wedding, I’d make sure to just invite friends and family. If your coworkers are your friends too, then feel free 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I say no – coworkers move on, dynamics change, and you can never be entirely sure that you’ll still want them at your wedding in a year.  I would keep the wedding talk to a minimum and not invite them. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    278 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I did not invite my coworkers to my destination wedding for a few reasons. One of the big reasons being that we all couldn’t leave at the same time (which doesn’t seem to be an issue for you).

    Another reason was just that it’s hard with destination weddings. You have to try and plan events where everyone is included and I just saw it getting awkward.

    Plus, there was only 2 coworkers that I really wanted to invite, but would have offended the rest of the office by not inviting them.

    What I DID do was talk to the 2 girls that I did want to invite. I explained wanting to invite them, but explained the whole office dynamics and not wanting to offend anyone. I told them it was important to me to share in some aspect of my wedding and asked how they felt about being invited to the bridal shower. I know it is normally considered rude to be invited to a bridal shower and not the wedding, but they both were extremely touched to be involved in some way. It meant a lot to me as well!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1175 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @futuremrsk18:  I am having a DW, and I have only invited family.  I voted no in the poll, simply because as PP stated, we all LOVE everything about new jobs.  And generally, this diminishes the longer you work there.

    It is up to you who you invite.  I would be leary of inviting brand new co-workers.

    I chose a DW because I wanted something intimate and exclusive.  I did not want it to be a “typical invite everyone” wedding.  So I drew a very small circle of family only.  That and I could not afford to do a huge DW.  But that is just my preference.

    In the end, it is up to you.  Good luck!

    Post # 15
    Member
    2830 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I voted no before fully reading the OP. I’m glad to know you enjoy your job and your colleagues so much. I’ve never really had this experience. That said, when I was a teenager, I went with my mom to a DW for one of her coworkers. It was not any different from a local wedding except that it was overseas. This was before DWs were really a “thing” and there were no welcome parties and OOT bags all these little personal touches that would only be appropriate to share with someone you love (not just like). If you were getting married locally, would you invite them? If yes, then…maybe consider it.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’m having a DW wedding and I’m not inviting any of my co-workers because I want it to be a small intimate event. I wouldn’t even invite them if I was having a wedding in town since I only want to share my special day with close friends and family and I’m not close enough with any of my co-workers to invite them.

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