(Closed) …poop

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4529 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Nona99:  This is really hard: we have a couple we know that has only been married a few years as well, and we recently were told by the wife that the husband is filing for divorce. I still don’t know what to say :-/ She found out he had a seperate Facebook account where he is “in a relationship” with someone that isnt his wife, and all of this was happening right under her nose. I just text her weekly or send her funny cards because I’m not great with knowing what to say 🙁

Post # 4
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Nona99:  That’s a bummer! But you’re an awesome friend (with an awesome DH) to go check on her when you can’t be there 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

How awful.  Definitely keep her busy.  Let her bitch, vent, cry, getting crazy drunk on wine, while you sit next to her sharing the bottle. 

Never ever use the words ‘this is meant to be’, and ‘it will get better’ – at least not yet, because right now, it does not feel that way for her, and so hearing those words make you want to scream!!

I went thru this with a great friend of mine.  Problem is she lived 4 hours away, so instead of sitting next to her, I spent countless hours on the phone with her.  I sent her a care package.  I sent her daily texts telling her she was a kick ass gal, and what a moron he was for thinking otherwise, etc.

And then slowly, over time, she got better, and in the process our friendship changed for the better.  Im glad Mr.99 is there right now.  I am certain her ex-man is shaking in his boots!

Post # 6
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Nona99:  Burn his sh** before he picks it up!?!?!?!! No seriously.

If a man is going to leave her after all that she is definitely better off. I would just be there for her, as a friend, buy her a bus pass this way she can at least get where she needs too.

Then take a pic of his, blow it up really large in size, have a girls night and throw darts at his face.

Post # 7
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Despite the sadness in this post, I giggled at the visual of a super tall dude carrying a tiny dog.  Intimidating indeed.

I’m so sorry for your friend…I can’t imagine how hard this must be for her, especially after everything else she’s been through.  I think the best thing that you can do for her is just be there for her….and I’m sure she already knows that you are.  The fact that you sent over Mr.99 and Wort to make sure she’s OK is such an amazing thing to do!  Gestures like that speak volumes.  

I truly hope things start to look up for her soon…

ETA: I love the idea of sending funny texts and e-cards.  She knows you’re thinking about her and you’re trying to make her laugh, which might also help distract her a bit.  That can help a lot…just making sure she isn’t dwelling on anything.

Post # 8
Member
11287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Nona99:  this sucks.  trust me, divorce is never a fun thing.  however, when it’s all said and done, it can be a breath of fresh air.

i would suggest to just be there for her.  let her vent but stay neutral and non-judgemental.  keep the conversation on her positives, not his negatives.  encouragement will help move her past this not dwelling on his crap.

don’t forget, in a break up, there are always 2 sides to every story and as my mother always says, you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Post # 10
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@mypinkshoes:  I agree, at the time – divorce is not easy.  But once you move past it and realize that you made the right choice and are better off without them, it is LIBERATING.

 

I also agree about focusing on how awesome she is and not how much of an asshole he is.  It will be much easier to move on if she focuses on herself and how great of a person she is, then it will be to keep anger and hate inside.  That never works.

 

Invite her over for some girl time, bring out the wine (or beer!) and just be there with her.  Let her bring up the conversations she wants to talk about and keep redirecting to how amazing she is when it gets out of control.

 

Just letting her know you love her will mean so much.  Sending over your husband and little Wort was a perfect step to show her she hasn’t lost everything, she still has you, and amazing and caring friend.

She can be reminded that it’s HIS loss, without dwelling on spite and hatred.  She WILL find someone better who stays with her through the good times, instead of running when it finally gets good.

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