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My FI's grandparents aren't attending my wedding because they winter in Florida. Now, they're young (60s), in good health (neither of them even uses a cane or anything... they're both very mobile), and have enough money to have a winter home in Florida. In my mind there is NO excuse for missing their first grandchild's wedding!! Honestly FI's family just doesn't seem at all concerned with our wedding and I don't know why. They don't dislike me (they don't really even know me), but I kind of feel like they're maybe just not nice people.
My fiance's parents' best friends initially rsvp'd "yes," but did not come to our wedding because the husband made the mistake of having an affair with my uncle's current wife...10 years ago. They see each other in other situations, this is a small town and you literally cannot avoid people. But they refused to come to our 350 person wedding because it "might be awkward." My guess is its actually because the wedding was over Memorial Day weekend and their other BFF's rsvp'd "No" due to an annual camping trip they take together every year. Still left a pretty bitter taste with my in-laws though.
my aunt and uncle are not attending our wedding because they are going on a cruise 2 months later. they have no kids, retired, and they are not poor, so it's not like they can't afford to do both things. i guess i can't expect that they would come anyway since my aunt didn't even go to her father's funeral because it was "too far" for them to travel.
I have a few......A friend of mine said that she might not be able to come bc she MIGHT be pregnant. She will be less than 3 months IF she got pregnant today.
my MOM.... She is sick and i do understand that but she said she might not be able to afford it. The wedding is 6 hours away and she has known for over a year. Im paying of this wedding without any help and she cant afford to come intown for 2 days....NICE!!!
Random family friends because the wedding is the same night as the 1st football game of the season
@Miss Austin - Wow, I'm sorry about your Mom. That's ridiculous.
My Nanny (grandma) isn't sure if she can make it because she doesn't want to drive that far. It's 2.5 hours away and she drives over 4 to see her sister regularly. She hates interstates and it's only 2 interstates equating to less then 40 miles and no back roads. She drives all interstate to her sister.
My grandmother said the same thing. She is 77 but in great health, no cane, only hormone meds, and moves faster than me. I hate taking her grocery shopping because she moves so fast I can't think I if I need something for myself. Anyhow, her excuse...I am too old for things like that. I have given up and stopped asking.
My Aunt is supposedly going to be out of the country over that weekend (we're pretty sure she planned it that way on purpose) and now my Uncle (her brother - who lives in another state from her and our venue) is saying he has to watch my Aunt's dog, so he won't be able to come either.
Very interesting @mrsdoctor. We have a similar situation on our hands
In February, one of my bridesmaids told me that she wanted to bring her three-year old to our wedding because she had child care issues. Since it was seven months before the wedding, and we had decided to make our wedding adults-only as our venue is really not kid-friendly I offered to find a solution that would make my b-maid comfortable with bringing her daughter - paying for another hotel room so she could bring a sitter, hiring a sitter for the wedding in CT or to stay at her house, etc - any solution she'd feel comfortable with so she wouldn't have to stress about chasing her daughter around. She turned everything down and said that it was no big deal, her husband would stay home. Then it clicked - her husband is pretty damn racist, and I KNOW he has said many things to my BM and her parents about my interracial marriage.
To be honest, it's a blessing that he "volunteered" to stay home, and both FI and wonder if he was looking for an excuse all along and this was an easy way out for him not to attend. His presence at our wedding has been stressing me out from the beginning, since he is the one guess who has been openly racist in my presence - not that hiding it is OK, but - he's the one I worried about making a comment or a scene at the wedding. When my father heard the news, he was like "GOOD" because he would've gone all retired-state-trooper on this guy's ass and kicked him out of the wedding if he dared make a scene, but just knowing that all this will be avoided is a relief. No one wants a fist fight at their wedding :P I would be very sad if this happened with family or close friends though, and I completely understand everyone's disappointment.
Except for that one guy, most everyone has very legitimate excuses for not making it so far. We made sure our wedding weekend was a Patriots bye-week. Wouldn't want the football fans to blow it off or have the bride checking the score on her phone every 10 minutes, LOL.
My grandfather didn't attend because he was afraid of having a heart attack and taking the spotlight away from me. I don't think I believe it since he's been in excellent health for a long time, he just doesn't 'get' celebrating others, it's always been about him.
DH's friend didn't attend b/c he could only go to either the bachelor party or the wedding due to $ reasons, and of course he chose teh bachelor party.
I caught a few people in lies (I wasn't trying to!) saying they were doing something specific that weekend and it turns out they were totally free. Really, I would have rather they just told me "I'm sorry I can't make it". Oh Facebook..
This isn't a poor excuse, but I'm just bummed that a good friend of mine won't be able to come to mine. Her cousin who has been engaged for about 6 months longer we have been, finally chose a wedding date recently. It ended up being on our date. She won't be able to attend both because her cousins will be in a town 6 hours away.
"I can't be the friend you deserve to have." ~Some psycho chick to my husband in an email to let him know she's defriended him from Facebook. Just two weeks prior to this she was telling him about the dress she bought and how she can't wait to go. Okay, then!
My Grandma told me that she doesn't do well with crowds of emotional people. Well, I should say that she told me she got a plane ticket to come down for the wedding. Then come to find out that she didn't. Then she said that she would be too much of a hassle and a headache to be there. Then it went to she doesn't do well with crowds of emotional people. Wow, right?!
one of my friends from ohio called me after he got our STD and told me he couldnt come (our wedding is in texas). why? because he's breaking up with his boyfriend in early august and he doesn't think he can find a date by february and doesn't want to sit with all my single friends (most of whom he's known for 5 years).
My grandmom and my whole mother's side of the family wont be coming - because...well they didn't even give an excuse!
My (ex) bridesmaid scheduled a trip over my wedding and will be out of the country, so she won't be able to come.
FI's grandparents (accidentally) scheduled a cruise over our wedding! But they changed the date right away to another time.
I had some bad ones that stung pretty bad. One uncle didn't RSVP by the deadline, so I had to call him and ask. He said, "I still haven't decided. There's a classic car display at the flea market that weekend and we might want to go to that instead." He never gave me a final answer and apparently chose the flea market.
And my Godmother refused to come because she lives in Florida and "doesn't have any clothes for the northern climate." Um...it's Chicago...in September...when the weather is in the 90's....ouch.
Thanks for all your input, bees. It's unbelievable what some people will say or do... sometimes it just feels good to vent about these things.
My Grandmother isn't coming because 3 hours is too long to sit in a car. I offered to buy her plane ticket (30 minute flight) and was told she just could not come. I hate this wedding so far. I would've eloped, but didn't want to disappoint guess who??? My Grandmother. My fiance's mother is coming from twice the distance, despite that she will need a blood transfusion to have enough energy! I am so not kidding! I bought each bridesmaids's dress from my hard earned paycheck, and not one of them even said "Thank you!" Ugh, I just need to vent. I'm pretty discouraged right now. :( It shouldn't matter or get to me, but it really really does. Hate it all!
Oh Lordy, I'm reading all your responses and don't feel so unlovable anymore! Maybe it isn't us afterall!! Good grief what is wrong with people..
one of my fiance's sisters is "staying home to take care of the animals".
how rude would it be to convince his dad to stay home and do that job instead? hmm.
My favorite so far is an old friend of mine who moved to CO. The response card said "Will not attend" and that was it. No explanation, not thanks for the invitation, no phone call. I'm pretty upset about it, because he's a good friend. Oh well, guess it's his problem...
My favorite so far is FI's aunt and uncle. They live in the same town no joke less than ten minutes away from both ceremony and reception sites, and checked regrets. When FI's dad asked why they are not attending His aunt says, I dont like going to large events.... Seriously. He is the first one of his brothers to get married and they are the oldest of all the cousins. You cant just suck it up and come.
As for FI's mom she is still on the fence on weather or not she will be attending.. We dont care.
FI's foster parents (who raised him), said they didnt want to fly up and deal with layovers, to only get to see us for about 20 minutes of our day... Instead, they have asked us to come spend a week with them, next spring?!
Two of my aunts refuse to attend mine because they dont like where my mother is from.
Frankly, Im relieved. I hardly want two scowling mean ladies there around me anyway! ha!
We had a good friend say he couldn't make it b/c retail sales were up at his store. Ohh-kay. We love him and it's really no big deal, but c'mon. Just say, I'm a dude, I'm single, and I'd rather stay home and watch Die Hard for the 100th time.
As an update, my grandfather DID go to my cousin's wedding. And to make it worse, he went to my brother's wedding this past June, which was about a 6 hour drive. But what really humbles me is that my husband was genuinely ecstatic that my grandfather talked to him and shook his hand at my brother's wedding. It's just a little hard for me to look at all these wedding pictures and see my grandparents in everyone's but mine.
I just realized this thread is a lot more serious than my post... I'm sorry I didn't get that before I posted. I didn't mean to make light of what anyone is feeling...
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So what's the worst excuse you've heard for someone important to you not coming to your wedding? Here's mine so far:
I just found out my 82 year old grandfather will not be attending my wedding, while my 81 year old grandmother, who is in poorer health will. His excuse? He's too old for things like that. Now, I'm hoping he means that a 1.5 hour drive might be too long time for an older man to make, but I have plenty of family coming that could bring him. Besides, I've always lived 1.5 hours away from them. I highly doubt that he means he's too old for weddings, because I can guarantee he'll be at my cousin's wedding which is 2 weeks before mine (don't get me started on how pissed THAT makes me...)
My guess that the real reason he's not coming is that he doesn't approve of our interracial relationship.
It's pretty sad, my grandfather doesn't want to attend his first born granddaughter's wedding.
So, let's hear from ya!