(Closed) Poor FI: GM forgot he was a GM!

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

O no! So is the Groomsmen still gonna be in the wedding? Or are you guys having to find a another one. Thats horrible, your poor Fiance

Post # 4
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I haven’t dealt with this exact issue, but two of my cousins forgot that I asked them to be ushers. They were wondering why they were invited to the rehearsal dinner, and my mom had to tell them. It was pretty upsetting, but mainly because this isn’t the first time they’ve done something like that. (Nor was it the only time they did something like that at the wedding, either.) I didn’t mention anything, but it hasn’t helped our relationship.

Your Fiance is probably correct in not making too big a deal out of it. His friendship with Groomsmen Paul may not be in a good place right now, but kicking him out of the wedding party may just cause more stress than your Fiance needs. You’re right that your Fiance doesn’t deserve this, so it’s good that you’re so supportive of him right now.

Post # 5
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Was he drunk or what? How could you not remember being asked something like that? I don’t understand………..

Post # 7
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ll take the other side here:

This actually happened to us!

We are having a Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man.  That’s it. No groomsmen, ushers, or bridesmaids.

We asked our best friends, a married couple.

They both forgot, until I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor what length tie to buy for her husband.  She was like “why does he need a tie?”  And then it all came out from there.

I was…irked.  I can only understand this because they are our best friends, and that’s the way they are.  They have three young children at home, and have always always been there when it counted.  They’re just not tuned to the wedding channel all the time like we are, and since they live out of state, it’s not like we see them on a regular basis.

We were able to joke about it and laugh it off, but I wouldn’t have been able to do that with someone who meant less to us than these two do.

Post # 8
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If he’s not that close to the groomsman anyway, I’d take it as a blessing that your Fiance won’t be a groomsman in Paul’s wedding. No need to rent a tux or plan a bachelor party or any of the extra expenses that come along with being a groomsman.

That Paul forgot he was a groomsman in your wedding is a little insulting. But I think you’re handling it well by just letting it slide. There’s not much else you can do at this point that doesn’t involve hurt feelings or awkwardness for a least a couple people.

Post # 9
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Similar thing happened to my Fiance. A good friend (one who is his witness at our wedding) asked him to be a groomsman when they got engaged about a year ago. We just got their wedding invite in the mail and after looking at the bridal party page, my Fiance wasn’t included! I was totally miffed, but my Fiance didn’t want to rock the boat either. He says it doesn’t matter and now he can sit with me at the wedding. Either way, strange.

Post # 10
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This actually sort of happened to my Fiance but the other way around. A couple of our friends are getting married, and I happened to look at the wedding website and notice that Fiance was listed as a Groomsmen with a picture up and everything! I called him over to show him and said “why didn’t you tell me you were a groomsman?” and he said “Because they never told me! I had no idea!”

They FORGOT to tell all their groomsmen that they were in the wedding…ahhh how awful is that?

Post # 12
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

This happened to my best friend! She and her Fiance are good “couple friends” with one of his groomsmen and his girlfriend, so she called the girlfriend to ask for a photo of the guy to put on their wedding website. She responded, “sure, but why? Is Jason a groomsman in your wedding?? We had no idea!!!!” This was maybe 3 months before the wedding! My friend’s Fiance swears he asked, the groomsman swears he was never asked.

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