Post # 1
And things were going so well…..
Mr. 99 and his mother started therapy last night, which he reported went very well considering they have talked only twice in a year. My Mother is feeling much better and is probably going to get a final solution to her frighteningly low blood pressure problem today. I actually have things in my office under control. Its a pretty snowy day. I’m having an awesome hair day. And in spite of runny nose, I actually feel pretty good.
What could ruin a day like this you ask?
I went home for lunch, looked in the sink to see what Mr. 99 pulled out to thaw for dinner and lo and behold….its pork chop night.
I hate swine…I don’t like to eat it, these are bone in…I feel like a dog gnawing on that crap, while you cook them, blood and other horrifying shit comes out of the bone ends so the oven looks like a scene from Hellraiser, and by the time you cut the edible meat out of there, its the size of a post it, SO SATISFYING…plus no matter what you do, how diligent you are…that shit is dry, every time, and you have to chew and chew and chew on it…..makes for a really romantic dinner, watching each other smack and bite like a dog with peanut butter in its mouth….and what exactly are you supposed to serve with it???? Nothing tastes good with something that already tastes like crap! So essentially, this whole meal is just a tribute to how awful dinner can actually be…Why the frick to we even buy these…I swear, Mr. 99 does this to punish me…I know I snored all night but this is low.
Post # 3
@Nona99: I’m curious, where does one aquire the world’s worst pork chops from? Because I have NEVER tasted a pork chop like that before. I can relate to pulling something out of the fridge or feeezer for dinner and wondering why the fuck you bought it. I’m the exact same with tofu. I just hate the goddamn stuff so much but every time I think ‘well a lot of people love it, and it’s so heathy’ and resolve to give it another try. Then I realize a week later it’s all we have for dinner that night and remember how much I hate it.
Post # 4
@Nona99: I’ve never met a pork chop I’ve liked in my own kitchen either. Thankfully my husband doesn’t eat pork (bacon is fine though?)! I have had some good ones from restaurant kitchens, maybe the secret is more butter?
Post # 5
@Ruby-Redshoes: We have a local butcher, and everything we get there is wonderful…so I’m not sure if its the pork chops themselves, or my undying distain for all things pig that makes them so awful…
I mean, under the best of circumstances, I hate them….but I’m sick with a head cold…who the hell wants a dry, bone in pork chop when they’re sick?
Post # 6
@MmeVT: ..it must be a man thing…I don’t get it
Post # 7
@Nona99: I’m sorry for you pork chop nightmare but your post made me almost spit out my own dinner with laughter!
Post # 8
My mom made porkchops in one of those oven roasting bags like for chickens once and they were almost not dry. Personally I find smothering it in applesauce helps quite a bit.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
The secret is mayo, lots of mayo. It’s even better when you add some seasonings to the mayo (I like Tony Chacker’s Creole Seasoning) then roll it in panko or Italian breadcrumbs. Wrap it in a homemade aluminum foil bag and bake at 350 until the meat is 145 degree. Then open the top of the foil and broil for a minute or two to crisp the crumbs.
The foil makes cleanup a breeze. You just fold it up and toss it in the trash. No need to look at it.
The bone part is pretty awful sometimes so I have just given in and paid the extra few cents for butterflied chops which my husband stuffs with parmesan cheese before rolling in egg and Italian breadcrumbs.
Post # 10
@Nona99: I LOL-ed so hard I almost peed in my pants.
I hate being an old woman.
Post # 11
I don’t like porkchops much either, especially bone-in, but if you have a crockpot, try cooking them in that (with sauce or seasonings) – it should help the dryness.
This post cracked me up, though!
Post # 12
I don’t know what you do with your porkchops, but we marinate ours in italian dressing. And then put on more while they are cooking. I agree that they can get really dry, but the italian dressing does the trick for us.
Post # 13
@Nona99: While I am not recommending that you lie….
But in order to preserve your good day, you could tell him that you can’t stomach pork chops tonight and offer to make something yourself? Which is the truth! 🙂 Maybe he can take the leftovers from your portion to work the next day?
I hate pork… my husband knows this and luckily I cook. So I can’t imagine feeling forced to eat something that I didn’t like.
Post # 14
This is how my mom always made pork chops, and they were so dry and disgusting. My sister and I were talking to her about meat one time and how we like our steaks so that they’re still juicy and tender. She blurted out something about how she doesn’t like juicy meat and we immediately jumped on that and said how it would explain her pork chops!
Post # 15
Pork is magical. Bacon, ham, pork loin, pulled pork… You are seriously cooking your pork wrong if it is dried out and chewing on leather. And no, you don’t need butter or mayo, or a bunch of other crap to make pork tender and taste delicious.
Post # 16
@beachbride1216: …thats good advice, but if I flopped a mayo smothered swine bomb in front of my husband, who is a personal trainer…he would kill me