- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Ive been having minor issues with my Mother-In-Law. I love her very much and she loves me. There have always been annoyances here and there, but she is not at ALL one of those nightmare MILs.
However, she is very clingy with her children. I believe she seeks fulfillment from her children rather than her husband which is something that bothers me very much.
Ever since we have gotten married, she calls everyday and gets hurt if we don’t answer one day. She also seems disappointed that we don’t go over to the house very often. We go around once a month which Darling Husband and I both find to be enough. She suggests constantly that we come over more, and it aggravates me.
While I believe these are valid annoyances…I know that I have some issues I need to work through. I get REALLY angry when she does these things…and I don’t think my level of anger is justified.
Two things going on here:
1) Even though my husband always shows me that I am first in his life and NEVER makes me feel like his mother comes before me…I still deep down feel possessive of him which makes me think I must be insecure/threatened.
My mother had awful experiences with her in-laws and my father always put his parents ahead of my mother. She always felt second in line and witnessing that was very traumatic. I think this has something to do with my irrational insecurities.
2) I resent the fact that my parents live in another country and I only see them twice a year. I am very close to my parents and it is VERY hard to live so far from them. I resent being so far from my parents when we are close to DH’s parents. Of course, this is no one’s fault- it is situational. But it still makes me so upset.
I would like to find a balance here. I love my in-laws and would like to stop feeling such resentment/annoyance every time Mother-In-Law calls. I do want to maintain boundaries because she is too clingy, but I also want to enjoy our time together and our closeness like I used to.
I really needed to write this all out…I’d appreciate feedback on what I’ve said here, and also any personal experiences any of you bees may have similar to mine in some way?
I’m not looking for harsh criticism here, I’m trying to sort through my issues so that I can be fair and to get past my issues.