Post # 1
My best friend has asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, which I was thrilled about. The only issue I’m having is one of the bridesmaid. When the bride went to try on her wedding gown, she asked all of us to go, so we looked for our dresses as well. She gave a lame excuse not to go and now tells me she doesn’t like the dresses we picked. Today I scheduled our appointment at the bridal shop and I’m hoping she doesn’t cancel at the last minute again. I have run all ideas for the bridal shower and bachelorette pary past all the other BM’s and I either get no response from her or a whatever you want to do response. Any advice on how to deal with this situation? I don’t want to loose my cool with her and want to make things flow as smoothly as possible for my best friend, so any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
I’d just reiterate that it’s important for her to be there specifically so she can help make the group decisions, and that if she’s unable to attend or chooses not give her opinion, then there’s not much you can do.
Post # 4
I would love to hire a bridesmaid like you, LOL! It sucks because you can’t make people do what you want them to do, so I’m not sure what advice to give you.
Post # 5
I agree wtih amysue. My only other suggestion would be to ignore her bad behavior- if she doesn’t contribute ideas for the shower, etc. then just move along without her input. Don’t stress yourself out trying to get feedback from her if she’s not interested.
Also, don’t complain to the bride about her. If you can’t get the Bridesmaid or Best Man to comply (like she won’t get fitted for her dress) then just ask the bride, "I’m having trouble getting in touch with PIA-BM about her fitting. Could you try giving her a call and see if you have better luck?" It would probably hurt your friends feeling to know this Bridesmaid or Best Man didn’t care enough to participate in the planning of stuff. It may be hard, but you could spare her that hurt.
It sounds like you’re doing a great job as MOH- your friend is luck to have you!
Post # 6
Thanks for the great input so far! I would not want to burdan the bride with this issue, she has enough on her plate right now. I just don’t want this Bridesmaid or Best Man complaining to the bride that she has been left out. I have been following up every text to her with an email to all the girls so that nobody can say they didn’t know about anything. The wedding isn’t until next June and already I’m stressed about her.
Post # 7
Do everything you can to be friendly and accomodating, but explain that there are deadlines for ordering dresses, etc. Ultimately, anyone not willing/able to contribute an opinion in a timely fashion will need to forfeit that opinion. At the end of the day, the vision of the wedding is at the bride’s whim so if the other girls have selected a dress that is in keeping with her desires and that she approves of, there really is no sense in worrying too much about a lone bridesmaid who can’t seem to get on board.
Also, been there – done that, and I feel for you! You are doing everything you can as Maid/Matron of Honor to make the process easier on your friend and she is lucky to have you. At the end of the day, it’s really about what she wants and what makes her comfortable so I congratulate you on remembering that even if one or more of the other girls have a tendency to lose sight of that point.
Post # 8
I would ignore the bad behavior and plan without her, the Bride will find out how her friend acted in the end. I would continue to plan as you have been doing, and just take the high road instead of losing your cool on this girl. I never understand why girls say yes to being in a wedding, and then want no part of it!!
Post # 9
She seems like she’s a little resentful, maybe she is close to your friend and would like a more leading role. I’d try my hardest to give her tasks so she feels like she’s a larger part of the planning. Regardind the dress, I’d talk to her and remind her how important it is to get this part done for your mutual friend, to make it all easier on her. If she cares, she’ll change her ways.