Post # 1
I am stuck!
One of my oldest friends, and I would love to be a part of the wedding has over 35 tattoos all over her body! I mean, behind her ears, on her calfs and shines, on her thighs and even on the sides of her hand! I think that she is going to heart broken if I don’t ask her to be a bridesmaid, but I just don’t think that all of her tattoos will go with the elegance of the rest of the wedding party, or with the theme of the wedding itself! My fiance is very against having her stand for me, but I am torn?
Am I being a major brat right now, or is my worry valid?
Post # 3
If you love the person and want her to stand for you, then the tattoos shouldn’t matter. Beauty isn’t just skin deep… but if you are hesitant, don’t ask her and then rescind, just ask someone else.
Post # 4
You’re being a major brat (hey, you asked).
There was another post like this not too long ago and my answer was basically the same.
Your friend is your friend. Her tattoos are a demonstration of self expression and art. Not wanting her in your wedding because of that is a total slap in the face. They are part of her and how she presents herself.
I have tattoos as well (tasteful and well thought out -they all mean something to me) and I would hate to be excluded because of them. I would also be royally pissed off if someone asked me to cover them -I know you didn’t mention that but I just wanted to throw that out there.
Have your friend in your wedding as a bridesmaid if she has earned that wonderful right to be there next to you. Don’t insult her or tarnish your friendship over something so little.
Post # 5
If I were the girl with the tatoos I would be very hurt that my friend thought so little of our friendship and so much of what other people would think that I didn’t ask her to stand up with me.
Post # 6
i think i would have similar concerns and i really don’t think you should be made bad for expressing them. i do think that if she is really important to you, then technically the tatoos shouldn’t matter, but i DO NOT think that if you feel they do, that you’re any less of a friend, or that she’s not important to you.
you just need to follow your heart. your wedding is over a year away so you still have some time to figure this out!
Post # 7
My MOH has a ton of tattoos (sleeves/half body, random little ones, back.. etc.) I will admit that I stressed about them a lot, not to her, just in my head.
She offered to airbrush them (after I asked her to be in the wedding) and I was SUPER excited. Then I started reading posts on here about how that doesn’t really work that well and all the problems that go with trying to cover up a tattoo (especially huge dark ones)
So I am little by little coming to terms with the fact that my MOH will have lots of tattoos.. my FI isn’t too happy about it, but he wouldn’t ask me to kick my friend out because of them.
I also try to remember that if she had some sort of deformation from a car accident or something that I wouldn’t even think twice about having her in the wedding.. so why think twice about some colored ink on her skin?
Post # 8
My opinion is that you should have her in your wedding party if the only reason you wouldn’t have her is the tatoos. If you didn’t, you would be basing your decision on her apperance and not who she is as a person and what role she plays in your life. It would be the same as not asking another friend because you thought she was too ugly or overweight.
Post # 9
When you look back at your photographs are you going to be more preoccupied by clashing body art, or the fact that an old friend isn’t included in any of them?
The fact that you ask the question and reference whether you’re being a brat or not tells me you know the answer- if your wedding esthetic was the most important to you, you wouldn’t hesitate- but you did, because I’m sure her friendship is more important that what she’s chosen to adorn herself with.
Ask her. Love her. Let her rock the tattoos- nothing will distract from the beauty of your day, but I bet you’ll always regret not having her by your side.
Post # 10
I get both sides of this.
I have tattoos, and I’m torn about them showing in my wedding, so how can I begrudge you that same concern?
In the end, it’s your wedding, they’re your pictures, those are your memories. Do what you feel is best.
Post # 11
If the girl is as close a friend as you are saying she, there you have no reason to not have her stand up for you. I think she would be heartbroken! Who cares if she has so many tattoos and that doesnt necessary “fit” your theme. Friendship comes first!! You have different friends bc they are all unique to you!!! Embrace her uniqueness and make it work. I really could never imagine my sweetie not wanting one of my friends in the wedding party bc of her tattoos. Just seems pretty harsh.
Post # 12
I’m with Mrs. DG on this one. If you are adamant about them not being shown, then maybe you could pick a bridesmaid’s dress that has sleeves or something to cover some of them.
Post # 14
Let your friend be in the wedding. Her tatoos aren’t going to be the most important part of your day.
Post # 15
I have two tattooed BMs, (and I’m a tattooed bride) and both BMs, without me even bringing it up, offered to cover theirs up.
But as the others have said, it’s about people you love, not about what’s on their body. Unless it’s like a swaztika on the head of the devil while eating kittens or something scary like that I wouldn’t worry about it. lol
Post # 16
Just echoing the sentiment that if she’s your friend, the tattoos should not matter. Think about it…if she was not pretty or skinny enough for your elegant wedding party, would you leave her out then as well?