- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Okay, Bees. I’m a somewhat regular poster going anon. You know the drill.
Firstly: I’m really not looking for judgement or lectures or guilt trips or any of that. Please try and keep it to yourself if you can. Thanks.
On that note, I have a problem. I think I’m pregnant. And this is the absolute worst time (okay, well maybe there would be worst times, but I happen to be catastrophizing atm, so bear with me) for this to happen. FI and I are hte point where it’s getting difficult to keep food on the table and gas in my car. He’s unemployed and I’m working part time (we’re both applying like crazy everywhere to find him a steady job and me a second part-time job). Money is tighter than it’s ever been. I’m suppose to be finishing college next month (if I can find the money to pay off my tuition and my grades pull through). We’re getting married in exactly 9 months (how’s that for timing?).
Now, I know my options. I’ve been pregnant once before and aborted that pregnancy. I don’t want to have another abortion. I’m not sure why I don’t want to. There is the cost, but I’m not of the camp that life begins at conception and I would be ‘killing my baby’ or anything. But I just…don’t want to. If I’m pregnant, I’m keeping it. I’m convinced of that.
Now, I haven’t taken a test (I’m planning to do that tomorrow morning). But I just…sort of know (which sounds stupid, but there is is). I knew last time and that’s how it feels now.
So here’s what I’m looking for: support and advice.
Have you Bees (or anyone you know) had an unexpected pregnancy when they were at their lowest of lows financially and manage to…well, survive? I know it will be difficult, but we can pull through, right? I mean, babies were had during the Great Depression – if those women could do it…
I know my FI would be fully supportive with whatever I decide and he knows my stance on future pregnancies in terms of abortions and adoptions, etc. His mother lives very close by as does most of his family. My family is across the country, but I’m close to his relatives. I’m sure they would be supportive, too.
I guess I’m just freaking out because things have been so stressful lately and I didn’t expect this to happen. I’m also pretty overweight. And that would be a problem, right? That raises my changes of risks and whatnots?
I really shouldn’t be freaking out until I have that concrete positive test, though.
Sorry this is so long and rambly – I’m not sure where I’m really going with this. o.o