Possibly relocating to Dubai with long term boyfriend? No proposal?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Mrswebbyhopefully:  Honestly it would depend on the country.  If it was a place I was thinking about living in, I’d probably just see it as an adventure whether I had a proposal or not.  However, if it was a country I was hesitant to go to in the first place, an engagement might not be enough to sway me to move.  I believe that women’s rights in Dubai are much, much better than they are in some of the other countries surrounding that area, but I would still look into it. 

Post # 3
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Honestly, I wouldn’t go without being officially engaged. I mean, FI’s the love of my life, but if it were us, I’d just meet him there once everything was set in stone. I don’t think I’d ever take that kind of step as just a girlfriend.

Post # 4
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

In general, yes. I moved halfway across the country while my fiance and I were dating, and there had been no engagement or ring discussion at that point. 

However, I would check into Dubai’s laws. Even though you’re not a citizen, you’re still expected to follow their rules. I know Dubai is one of the more progressive countries in the area, but women are still heavily restricted. Specifically, I would check into what you need a husband for. For example, will they allow two single people to rent an apartment together? 

Post # 5
Member
3938 posts
Honey bee

Mrswebbyhopefully:  If it were me, and I loved him, I would be totally up for the adventure and all the possibilities it could bring you both. But. I would not be getting on that flight without a ring on my finger. If he is already talking about rings and a proposal is on it’s way, it sounds like he would be on board with proposing before the big move. Just be frank with him. I would be telling him I would be happy to go with him but only as his fiance.

 

Also, now I hope I don’t offend anyone but culturally you would probably feel safer and get more respect as an engaged woman. May be worth looking into the culture and how that country treats women, especially women from other countries (like I said, not implying anything or wishing to offend)

Post # 6
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d treat this as a great adventure and go with him. Regardless of a proposal! Unfortunately, Dubai wouldn’t be my choice of adventure since I’d prefer not to support an economy based on slave labour.

Post # 8
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

At the risk of sounding ignorant (I’m not), I wouldn’t move to an Islamist country, even a modern one, without securing some guarantees. You should be aware that among the many strict laws that apply to any and all, residents and expats alike, sex outside of marriage and any PDA are punishable by jail. Dubai, although modern, has raised a significant amount of attention over it’s handling of rape cases as “sex outside of marriage”, thereby punishing the woman.

For me, it’s a catch 22. If married, a woman gives up a certain amount of rights, as custom is to defer to the husband. But unwed and in a Western relationship, you run the risk of breaching custom and law. 

If you go and aren’t wed, make sure you have a significant safety net, should anything happen. Cohabitating, even sharing a hotel room, while unwed avails you up to scrutiny. Secure your own living arrangements and make sure you can easily leave the country, should your relationship go awry or you no longer feel safe in the country. Familiarize yourself with the laws first and foremost and then use best judgement.

Post # 9
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly, I don’t think I could move to Dubai with someone I’d only been dating a year and a half, ring or no ring.  The cultural differences are huge and the weather is blazing hot. Since it’s meant to last just for a couple years, I’d stick it out at home, and let him go to Dubai without me. You might not have as much luck getting a work visa as your boyfriend did, and while Dubai is one of the most westernized countries in the Middle East, the list of activities with which an unmarried, not-working expat woman can entertain herself are quite small.

Post # 10
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Mrswebbyhopefully:  Also, just calling yourself Mrs., should there be any law intervention, in some cases is not enough. There have been many instances of which I’ve read that couples under scrutiny have been asked to produce legal marriage certificates. A married friend of mine who traveled with her husband was wise enough to bring with her their marriage license, just in case. She never needed to use it, thankfully.

Post # 12
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

How long would this job last?

Post # 14
Member
8917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Mrswebbyhopefully:  if you think this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you’re fairly sure he feels the same way – AND you think you can get a job that will advance your career AND you think you could be happy in Dubai – then yes! I wouldn’t put my life on hold for a proposal. 

Post # 15
Member
4918 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Dubai would be a no go for me, engaged, married, whatever.  But that’s a personal choice.

OP, it sounds as if you have pretty well made up your mind to do this & are doing your homework.  I wish you well on your adventure!

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