- 4 years ago
I’ve been lurking around for a while and finally (yay!) have something to post about even if it is something that I’m upset about.
Let me start with saying that I am of the opinion that when you are a bridesmaid or in someone elses wedding that you should be willing and alright with whatever thier vision for the day is. So if I have to wear a dress I hate to make the bride happy and keep her vision, so be it especially if she paid.
So onto why this was a really bad night for me. I was in a friends wedding about two weeks ago and finally have my emotions and everything all back together to be able to talk about it.
My friend (C) asked me to be a bridesmaid for her wedding and I was very excited and willing to do whatever she needed me to do for the day to be easier on her and keep her happy. I contacted C about two weeks later to ask about when she was planning to get married as I knew she wanted a short engagement and a late May/early June wedding and also about dresses. C told me about colors, length, shoes, and even a day she wanted everyone to go together to pick dresses (she paid for everything for all of us). The day we all went dress shopping she found two dresses she loved and all 4 of us girls liked both so it was up to her to decide(one was floor length and the other knee length in the same style). About a week later she sent a mass e-mail to all of us about the dress she decided on. The other three girls in the short dress and me in the long. Why was I a little upset about this? Because I’m just 5′ and the other girls are all between 5’5 and 5’7. To add to the problem with the dresses I replied to my friend that if I was wearing the long dress I’d like to be able to wear heels so that the dress would look better and not seem as out of place(even though I still think it will, I kept my mouth shut). The other girls found out about my request and all sent me an e-mail saying that they didn’t wear heels and C had already let them know(except me!) that the shoes would be flats. Fine. I can deal, but I would have rather heard that from the bride and I feel like C should have been the one to tell me. Next, I get an e-mail from C saying that she changed her mind and I would also be wearing a short dress. So, we all match now. Good.
The next problem I had occured the morning of the wedding. I went to get ready with the other girls and bride who once again found a way to make me feel excluded from the group. C had gotten one of those white sweatsuit outfits for the morning of and ones for the girls in the color of our dresses(except me!) Whatever, I did not really like them or want one either.The ceremony managed to go off without a probelm.
At the reception is possibly where my biggest complaint occured. C had told me that my boyfriend, who I live with would also be invited to the wedding and that she was not going to have a head table for the bridal party. Rather seat them with thier spouses, fiancees, boy/girlfriends at two or three tables. This changed a week(WEEK!) before the wedding. OK, I can handle not sitting to eat with my boyfriend, but he did not know anyone other than the few people I introduced him who would be at the wedding which was about 3 people including the bride and groom. So C sat him with people he DIDN’T even know and have never been introduced to. That ticked me off more than anything.
I figured after we ate and the speaches were made I would be able to go join my boyfriend and introduce him to some other people I knew and be able to dance with him. What did C think? That I needed to be with her the entire night. Everytime I went to talk to him or dance or anything she would come find me and pull me away whinning that she needed me for something that one of the other girls could have done. At one point she even followed me into the bathroom to make sure I wasn’t leaving her side.
Both boyfriend and I were so fed up by the time the cake was cut and passed around that we decided it was time for us to leave. He was miserable and so was I. I just wanted the night be over and go curl up in bed with him at home. So I pulled C away and told her how happy I was for her, but I felt like it was time for boyfriend and I to leave. She precedded to get very upset which I can understand somewhat. However to suggest that I was leaving her on her special day because my boyfriend was making me and that he should just leave if he was not happy and let me stay was very out of line.
I was just so tired of her immature and slightly bidezilla act that I was leaving regardless. When we got home I cried for hours since I thought we were much better friends than for her to treat me like that.
Also when she got back from her honeymoon on Friday she sent me a very long and nasty e-mail about how I was a bad friend for leaving her and I also got one from each of the other girls basically saying the same thing. This has made me so hesitant to ever saying yes to being in another wedding. I’m also questioning who to include in my own bridal party now.
Thanks for reading if you finally made it to the end. Sorry its so long and about any and all spelling/grammer mistakes phones are not easy to type something this long on.
Comments? Opinions? Anything?