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Girl, this totally sucks...
but definitely DO NOT have sex with your period going on.
If you've waited to have sex until marriage (kudos!!!) then, trust me, it makes you a bit self-conscious just doing it for the first time in general. Now, as women, we all know that having your period makes you feel ick all the way around... now imagine trying to bare all for your honey in that instance... not pleasant!!
Hopefully the period holds off for a day or two at least!
Good luck!
Are you on the pill? If so, you can adjust your week of regular pills to be on your wedding week, to delay your period until the subsequent week.
If I read correctly that you are a virgin (you said you've been waiting til marriage), then you might bleed when you first have sex anyway. But if he has had much sex either, the period might freak him out -- and it will make you feel self-conscious during your wedding and wedding night/honeymoon.
My advice is to keep the date that you have, and get on the pill if you aren't already, and then take a 4th week of regular pills to delay your period til the 5th week.
You say you are a virgin but have you been sexual at all with your guy (I know a lot of ladies who are virgins at least experiment with other sex acts)? If this will truly be your first time seeing one another or performing any sexual acts I would save it until you are finished with your cycle.
But I=if you are comfortable, go for it.Turn the lights down super low and lay a towel on the bed so the mess is easy to clean up. Or for even more fun, and no clean up, go for it in the shower ;)
For whatever its worth, I like sex on my period and that is usually when I want it the most, haha.
Not on the pill, I took those for a while for cramps and they totally broke me out and I felt like crap on the pill. So, Idk. We haven't done any other sexual acts these past two years. Nadda. Zip. But I don't think it would bother me too much maybe? It just sucks, the shower thang may be a good idea though..if I am brave enough for it, lol!
I agree with Msnelson. If you're not opposed to the pill, I'd try to get on it as soon as you can so you can schedule it for a week before or after. If the pill isn't an option, then I'd talk with FI about how comfortable you two are with intimacy and your period lining up at the same time. Especially as a virgin, that can be a lot more stress and worry to add in, but like PPs have said, if you're comfortable with it you can make it work.
I am also waiting till my wedding night so I can understand the troubles you are facing... I would be upset if my period were to fall the same day, but there are quite a few options here :) Like some of the other girls said...
1. Get on the pill so you can control when your period happens. Because you have issues in the past this is kinda tricky.. because you don't want to break out for your wedding!! However, consult your doctor, maybe there is another brand that would agree more with you? I know that when I went on the pill for cramps I needed to try 3 difference brands before I found one that agreed with me. But you don't have all that much time to experiment so this may not be the best option, but you could always try it!
2. Risk it. Maybe you will get your period, maybe you won't. Sometimes stress can even delay periods, and chances are that you will be a bit stressed the days leading up to the wedding. And if you get your period, which you may not, then you and your husband can determine then if you want to have sex or not. If it's light you could just do it on the bed with a towel, or the shower.
Good luck!
Just to clarify, do you mean December of this year (next month) or next year (2011)?Obviously you don't have time to get on the pill if your wedding is next month! As you know from experience, the pill is tricky and can send your system out of whack for a couple of months.
Lol, it's next month lol. Ya, the pill sux for me I think, we talked about it..he's like we'll burn that bridge when we get there..lol. Like I said, shower may work or if we get somewhere with a hot tub? Can you have sex in a hot tub when it's that time? Or is that, can that be messy? Would you see stuff in the water?Sorry. Or maybe candles or low lighting and in the hot tub? Sorry..gosh I just don't know though! lol.
i would say no to the hot tub. ever have a bath while you're on your period? I did, without a tampon. Once. and i never did again. nuff said. anyways, my boyfriend and i have had sex while i'm on my period. we just lay down a towel and then jump in the shower afterwards. depending on your flow, it might look like a horror movie after, or it might not ;) but either way, for better or for worse right??? i would also suggest some type of birth control pill that way you can control when you get it.
Like OP, I suggest going on the pill - that way you'll be able to calculate exactly when "Aunt Flow" will be in town and possibly re-arrange your pills accordingly if necessary (since you two aren't already having sex, it shouldn't be a problem).
Funny enough, that was one of the first things that my FI checked on when we were looking for wedding dates -- the lil perv ;)
Some gals use the Instead menstrual cup during their period to contain their flow during sex. You could try that for your wedding night and consecutive nights with your period. But I would practice inserting it prior to your wedding so you know how to do it. I guess it's like a diaphragm or cervical cap and, although I haven't used it, I guess it's supposed to work.
Well it says that your wedding date is in January 2011, so you have time to get on the pill so you would be able to skip your period. If you don't want to do that, then if your flow isn't that heavy, I say go for it. Just put a towel down and hop in the shower after. I always have sex with my period because my flow is never heavy and neither of us mind. And sex in a hot tub = horrible idea. It was one of the worse sexual encounters of my life. haha. I don't mind fooling around in the shower, but is that really how you want your first time to be? I think being in bed would be so much more comfortable.
You could try a different pill than the one you had in the past. There are many different types of BC pills out there, with different levels of hormones and different types of hormones. Many women have to try several different kinds of pill before they find one that works for them.
the instead cup was the first thing to pop into my mind. in my experience, it takes more practice getting it out gracefully than putting it in, but if definitely created a pretty good barrier.
additionally, i've gone on the shot when i've realized that my period is going to mess with an occasion. the first time i was on the shot, it elimiated my period with very little breakthrough bleeding, if any at all. the second time was more of a gamble. and on a personal note, i did gain a bit of weight after the second time on the shot, but that was only after a few months of using it.
I say it's whatever you and your husband feel comfortable doing. Also keep in mind that there are many newlyweds who DON'T have sex on their wedding night because they're too tired, stressed, someone got too drunk, etc.
We are scheduling our wedding around me NOT being on my period. My man said "Let's not plan it around your 'End of a sentence' (that's what he calls it.). so I have an app on my phone that let's me see when it's planning on me having it. Now my worry is not being pregnant after our first time. My advice for you is try other things with him. And from what I hear the first night you will be too tired to want to do anything anyways.
omg! now that you bring up this topic, i'm going to be on my period on my wedding day!!!! i think i might be on my last two days on that date...but there has gotta be something to make my period come a little earlier next month...just by a day or two...any suggestions? has anyone tried any herbal stuff like chamomile tea? hahahaha
Go get some Instead cups now at the drugstore & try them out this month so you'll be ready next month. I have used them for a few years & at first, FI didn't even know I was having my period...until I told him. Easy to insert, good, solid, reliable protection and then you just remove and dispose of the cup. You might have to get used to removing the cup, but using your kegel muscles will help and soon it'll be easy.
Good luck to you & enjoy your honeymoon!
Oh no sorry Kathyren! Lol, herbal tea, I wish! I drink that crap all the time haha. Those cups are just for leak protection right? I don't think I will be inserting anything but a tampon cause that just sounds like ouch to me! I don't wanna try anything hormonal to affect this...so..guess I will just have to grin and bear it! Idk..what to do? Who knows, maybe it will come early next month *crosses fingers* lol. haha. A friend I know got hers on her wedding day and they waited a few days to have sex..gotta say, that probably won't be me! lol. 2 years is enough wait for me!:).
i dont really know if this is true but i actually heard the gyno can give you something to not be on your period for things like that. again totally dont know how true that is.. but its worth calling and asking. (i'd do it by phone in case its a total rumor so you dont look dumb lol)
I would get on some birthcontrol... I was supposed to be on it for the wedding & honeymoon but, moved my period around just to not be on it. and it worked for me :)
I was a virgin when I got married. We had been together for 6yrs before we got married and I was still a little nervous the first time we had sex! I do not recommend having sex for the first time while you are on your period. Its a long story but we didn't have sex until a few days after the wedding. The pressure to have sex on our wedding night was a little much so we just let it happen on its own. There is nothing wrong with waiting a few days. Just make sure you do what seems right for you guys! Take your time and just enjoy being newlyweds!
There is nothing terrible about having sex while you have your period. Also, Instead cups don't hurt at all to insert. You have plenty of room up there.
If you are waiting to have sex until you are married, I would probably wait until the day after the wedding to have sex for the first time. You want to have a lot of time and be able to enjoy it, and I don't think you will have that the wedding night.
I am actually a little more sensitive when I'm on my period so it feels amazing when we have sex. If you're comfortable enough I would say do it. Just put down a towel, but we usually don't even have that much that actually reaches the bed.
Have you considered talking to your gynocologist to see what he suggests? Honestly, I think the Instead cups are your best option in that regard because hormonal solutions will cause breakouts/weight gain/spotting or a host of other undesirable side effects.
But having sex for the first time is more often than not an awkward, uncomfortable experience to begin with and having other things to worry about. Ultimately, you have to do what's right for you and your husband, but if I were in your situation and had had very little of a physical relationship prior to marriage, I would prefer to ease into sex a bit by engaging in act that aren't full on sex prior to doing it. Especially if i was on my period.
You can definitely still have sex on your period, but I'd suggest (what worked wonders for me) go to your nearest planned parenthood asap and get DEPO its a bc shot and it got rid of my period (I had horribly painful periods and would like, miss work). At any rate, then you could enjoy your night with no worries. Good luck.
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No sex? Sorry to be posting this up but I started today and I think I will more than likely be on the period on wedding day:(. My date says Jan but will more than likely be Dec 18th. We paid some vendors already for that day so it better be on the 18th lol. Only thing is..I may be on the period on wedding night. Crappy thing is we've been waiting nearly two years to have sex, we are waiting until marriage. So, I may have to wait a few more days then? I don't think he'd mind but Idk, first time with the period? Ugh...Would you have sex with the period goin on or? Man, is it goin to be honeymoon or honey, I am not in the mood? Not to mention hoping that white dress will stay white..ugh..guess it's a tamp and a pad day of wedding just in case. Pooper! Is this a vent? Idk! I just don't know! What would you do? Crappy!