(Closed) Post-Bridesmaid Dress Shopping Brunch — My Treat?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is the bride expected to treat her ladies to brunch after bridesmaid dress shopping?
    Yes, the bride should pay. They're spending their morning (and money) on you! : (22 votes)
    34 %
    No, it's not necessary to treat the group. It's just a casual brunch! : (10 votes)
    16 %
    Maybe. It would be a nice gesture but is not necessary. : (32 votes)
    50 %
    Other: Tell me what you think! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5756 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If I suggested it, planned it and made the reservations, I’d pay.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    If you made the reservation then, yes, I think you should pay for it (sorry, I voted “maybe” before I read the post!!).

    If you guys were just out shopping and then you (or someone else) suggested lunch & you all mutually decided to go to XYZ, then I don’ think you’d be required to pay, though I think it would be a nice gesture. I would probably at least buy a round of mimosas or an appetizer or something if I couldn’t afford to pay the whole tab.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think since you suggested the event, it would be nice to pay. In my case, since we were all coming in from out of town and stayed the night at one of the bridesmaids’ houses, breakfast was sort of a “no duh, we’re going to need this.” I paid for it, because they had all traveled, spent time, etc etc — but I had to wrestle the bill out of their hands to do it. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Did you ask everyone if they wanted to go to brunch after? I think if brunch was a mututal decision then you wouldn’t neccesarily be expected to pay, but it would be a nice gesture. If you planned it, made the reservations, and then told the girls then I would think they may expect you to pay.

    Post # 7
    Member
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    When I went shopping with my girls the first time, we went to our favorite Korean restaraunt after and I paid for all of them. It was my treat. My sister (MOH) couldnt go with us that day so she flew out here to visit me and dress shop and we treated her for the weekend as well. I think the wedding party is going to end up spending a lot of money on you for the day so its nice to treat them after shopping!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @ItWasntMe:  Agreed.  Sounds like you made the brunch plans unilaterally, in which case it should be your treat.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I also voted before I read the whole thing.  If you planned the whole day and made reservations, it’d be nice for you to pay.  If they all said “hey let’s get lunch over here, I’m famished!” then they probably be expecting to get their own tab.  But it’d still be nice of you to pick it up.  I’m sure you’re all familiar with each other’s financial situations – if you can afford it better than them – great, if they can better afford their own lunch, don’t feel bad asking for split checks, but make sure it’s ok with them. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    5658 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I don’t think it’s necessary, but it would be really nice if you did pay. I would pay if I were the bride in this situation.

    Post # 11
    Member
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Also, my bridesmaid from Korea (my fiance’s cousin) obviously couldnt come with us to shop and won’t be able to attend the shower or bachelorette so I just bought her dress for her instead.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6249 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    In my group of friends, just because someone suggests going somewhere doesn’t mean we all expect said person to foot the bill.  I view this as a casual “let’s continue the good times while we chow” type event, so I voted that you shouldn’t have to pay for everyone (but do pay  your own way).

    Post # 15
    Member
    4682 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I’d treat!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    After BM shopping we went to lunch and my mom paid for all of us. It was a nice treat. If she hadn’t done it, I also wouldn’t have due to finances but it’s a great thing to do if you can!

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