Post # 1
Does anyone else have anxiety regarding specific situations from the past? I have been diagnosed with borderline PTSD, but am not on meds for it right now, because of insurance issues (grrr). Today, I’ve had more of the “attacks” as I call them, all recalling the last few days at my last job, which were hell. I keep rehashing what happened, and then thinking “why didn’t I say/do that? Why did I let her treat me like that? Why didn’t I yell right back at her? Why didn’t I make a stand???” I know there is no way to go back and fix it, I just get the feeling that they (old bosses) won, and that I am the loser. I know I’m not, because I’m out of a toxic workplace. But I just can’t seem to get rid of these feelings of anxiety and fear. I feel like crying inside alot of the time, and put myself down over it.
Any ideas for help? Thanks.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this! I honestly don’t know that much about PTSD, so I don’t want to advise you there, but I do know from several close friends that the feeling of rejection after a job loss is tough, but it will go away with a bit of time.
My advice would be to start spending some time with people who make you feel good or doing activities that make you feel good. Anything you can do to have positive time during your day will help you feel less like a “loser” and more like yourself.
Hang in there hun!
Post # 4
@nyscpa2be: Oh my. I can relate so much to what you said. I went through a bad work firing incident last summer. On one hand I was sooooo happy to be gone, I wanted to be gone, but it was still just a punch in the gut that I still feel now. I rehash everything from my last months there. I think about all of the “I should of said this” and the what ifs. I had a hard time (and I still do) letting go. The first two months were hard. Honestly, what helped me the most was Oprah. Her magazine, or tv channel, articles on her website. It was like therapy for me. And the Jillian Michael’s podcast. And also margaritas.
And Florence + the Machine’s song “Dog days are over” and Kelly Clarkson’s new song “stronger”. When I get wrapped up all the bad things I had to deal with, I play those songs on repeat and tell myself I am awesome. And then go make a margarita.
Post # 5
@nyscpa2be: I lost my job 14 months ago after I filed a discrimination lawsuit. It was tough because I had always been little Miss Perfect and getting fired was far from it! It was a huge blow to my ego and self esteem. It took me some time to get past the events. However, I’m going back to work on Monday with the same salary and I hardly think about the drama there any more. It will pass in time. Try to get out of the house and clear your mind.
Post # 6
First, you are certainly NOT a loser…you are right: you are a winner to be out of such a terrible work environment. Since your anxiety seems to start with internal thoughts, you need to start there. When these thoughts begin to happen, say to yourself, “STOP,” and then direct your thoughts to something else. Have a list of postitive, up-lifting ideas that you can always go to (memories with family and friends, something to look forward to that’s coming up in your future, etc..). The other part to part to work on is your physical reaction to these thoughts. You probably become tense and panic-stricken. Focus on your breathing. Breath slowly in for 6 counts through your nose, and out your mouth for 6 counts. Focus on the air as it enters and leaves. It sounds a little corny, but as you continue to do this, your body will begin to relax, and you will be able to better redirect your thoughts. And also, be sure to exercise. This is something I tend to forget, but it seriously does wonders! 🙂
Post # 7
Thank you all so much!
@Gemstone: I showed Fiance my post, and his immediate reaction was to remember that I’m in a better place now, even if I’m at a gas station. And he’s right – I just need to keep looking forwards and upwards.
@jjah89: I’ll check out those songs – thanks!
@Soladylike: Congrats on the new job! I know the turn around will come for me too. I’m studying for my GMAT right now.
@Papillon23: The breathing had been recommended before by a therapist, but I constantly forget about it! I’ll find my yoga breathing book, and try what you said.
Post # 8
I once worked for a doctor that threw things at me in the OR and when I was with a patient he would call me up and curse at me all while I needed to smile and respond politely – which he would then turn around and tell me I had no back bone and that’s why I was just a small time assistant that couldn’t do anything right.
Believe this, it is not you. It is not a reflection upon you. It is them – they are not worth the tears. Find what you can that is positive even if it was just learning. And focus on the future. No one deserves to be degraided and please don’t judge yourself for this one piece of your life.
With your wedding coming up I am sure you have much more stress, just try to take time through out the day to take a break and just breath. We unfortunately can not change the past, and thats why we have to look to the future.
My fiance has been deployed 3 time for year long tours. We always talk about having to focus on what is ahead and leaving the what ifs alone
Good luck to you.