Post # 1
Hey ladies, I need some advice. My wedding is a destination wedding because almost all the guests have to travel to get there. I have been reading a lot about about how it is customary for destination weddings to have a welcome dinner and the post wedding brunch. Problem is that we don’t have the money for that and the groom’s parents do not want everyone at the rehearsal dinner. We splurged majorly on our venue and catering for the actual wedding reception. I would love to see everyone who is in town the night before the wedding, so I was thinking of having an early rehearsal dinner and then inviting all who are in town to join us (around, say, 8 pm) at the rehearsal dinner venue for drinks and snacks. We would be able to pay for snacks for everyone but not drinks. Would it be OK to invite people and have a cash bar? How should people be invited, on the website, an insert in the wedding invitation, etc.? I have not heard of anyone doing this sort of thing so all advice and perspectives are appreciated. Thanks!
Post # 3
When you word it, say: Please join us for snacks at blah blah venue. No host bar.
Someone very chic that I know said to have your rehearsal dinner at the hotel where most of your guests are staying. That way it is very easy for everyone to come downstairs for the post party.
I am also having a destination wedding and I am dealing with this dilema. I am happy with what I have come up with as a solution. My FI is from New York. His mother is hosting the rehearsal dinner and his family will be travelling cross country. Any east coasters are invited to the rehearsal dinner. I would have preferred a more intimate party, but I am not the host.
I am inviting my bridesmaids, parents, grandma, and uncle only. My family and friends are from Los Angeles. Many will just come up for one night on Saturday night anyway.
But for anyone travelling and staying Friday who is not invited to the rehearsal dinner, I am making VIP welcome baskets for their rooms: pink pails filled with yummy snacks.
Can you possibly offer deserts for your snack? That will be cute! Good luck.
Realize that if you read about things in the wedding magazines: they are designed to fuel the wedding industry and by nature make you spend more.
As far as being invited, the website would work. Or if you are doing welcome baskets for everyone, put a wedding weekend schedule in the baskets. I wouldn’t put an insert in the wedding invitation because it’s just snacks and not a formal dinner. But you could if you really wanted to–
I am sending a separate rehearsal dinner invitation a few days after the wedding invitation. That’s what the etiquette states is correct if you are not including an insert in the wedding invitation.
Post # 4
We are also having a destination wedding. We have rented a house for the week to share with our bridal party for the days leading up to the wedding and we are actually going to have a very casual (but catered) rehearsal dinner there. His mom is paying for the dinner. Following the dinner we are going to open it up as an open house. We are going to have beer and wine for folks that come, as well as some snacks. We will post something on our website about the open house as we get closer to the wedding. Also, once we know who is coming on Friday (and not just Saturday for the wedding) I plan to personally call and invite them to the "open-house."